Chapter 46

Aroura
The next several days pass in a blur of pain and tears. I lash out at the guys and cry as they pull me into their arms and refuse to let me push them away. What they don’t seem to understand is that I want to rip the doors off this place, set it on fire and just walk away. This place no longer felt like home. I felt like I was no longer safe, in the place that I used to feel the safest.
I wanted to beg and scream for them to move us away from this house, from this town, from everything that Gravin had ever touched. How could an organization such as Gravin have such a reach? How could it influence, infiltrate so much that nowhere could be safe?
My omega wanted me to crawl into my alpha’s lap, and when she wasn’t wanting that she had me creating a nest with all the things I had hand picked for my nest upstairs.
Nash walked in and stopped in his tracks as he saw the destruction of what I had done. Ripping every blanket, pillow and sheet into pieces. Holes in the wall where I had thrown hard objects, I didn’t deserve these things, I was dirty. I wasn’t good enough to have this.
“Omega, what did you do?”
“What does it matter?” I scream as I scraped my nails down my arms, causing them to bleed. “I can still feel him! I can feel him on me, inside me, biting me. I am disgusting. I don’t deserve these things. I broke my vow to only be with you guys. I can’t keep doing this Nash, please. Please I’m begging you help me end this pain. This agony. I need it to stop.”
He wiped a tear from his eyes, walking forward and grabbing me in his arms and lifting me up.
“No please, I don’t deserve your hugs. I’m so dirty Nash, I don’t want to taint you, please just help me make this stop.”
He carries me into the bathroom, setting me on the vanity as he grabs a washcloth and wets it and slowly starts cleaning up my arms. I wince as the pain from the now open wounds settles something in my soul. He quietly wipes my cheeks from the tears I didn’t realize I was crying. He then grabs a tissue and silently has me blow my nose.
I watch him, keeping my eyes locked on my alpha, my first alpha. The man who I first chose as my own. The one who even when we were kids had spoke up for us. Who was now silent as he took care of me.
He locked his eyes on mine swallowing before speaking, “You can’t leave me. I know this is painful, I know your soul is screaming from what was taken from you. But Aroura, you cannot let that bastard win. You aren’t dirty. This was not your fault. You did nothing to make this monster do this to you. I saw the bruises. I know you fought him with everything you had, even after being shot and recovering from gunshot wounds, you are strong. You are brave, and you will make it through this. When you feel dirty, I will clean you, when you feel like you can’t take anymore, I will show you that you are stronger than you’ll ever know, you feel weak, we will train you even more to fight even harder. You will get through this because you are stronger than he is. You will make it through this baby, of that I have no doubt.”
I lean my head forward onto his chest and sob. “I don’t know how I’m going to make it through this.”
I felt him pull his phone out and type something out before he laid it beside my hip, “Lets take a shower, and then we will take it one step at a time, okay princess.” I lift my head and look at him, my eyes darting between his. I take a deep breath and nod.
He turns away, walking the short distance to the shower and turns it on. The steam immediately filling the room. He pulls his shirt off and throws it to the side as he turns to me. I try to calm my breathing, I know he would never hurt me, but the fear is still there.
“It’s okay princess, I won’t hurt you. I’m going to leave my shorts on and I’m going to help you shower. That’s it. I just want to help you.” He holds his hands out. “Lets get you undressed so you can get in okay baby.”
I slowly raise my arms up, wincing at the pull of my ribs, and the pain in my arms from where the bullets had gone through. The stitches pulling.
“It’s okay baby, we will get you cleaned up and I’ll wash your hair, make you feel better then you can get in a night gown and I’ll have doc come in and give you some more pain medication.” He crooned at me. “You are doing so good for me sweet girl.”
My omega wanted to preen at his words. But I wanted to scream at myself for craving this. How could I want him to hold me, to touch me after everything? Was there something wrong with me that made me crave the touch of the man I loved after I was brutely attacked.
“Stop thinking omega!” he barked, “Just let me take care of you.”
He pulled the night shirt over my head and helped me step into the shower. He stepped in behind me as I faced the water letting it soak me. I felt Nash grab the body wash from beside me, I hear the cap open then the washcloth glides across my back as the tension eases from my shoulders. He washes every inch before having me turn around and he washes my front as thoroughly as he can as he avoids all the bandages on my stomach. Pressing kisses to them as he drops to his knees and washes my legs and feet.
He doesn’t attempt to make this sexual he just focuses on getting me clean and trying to keep me relax. He then washes my long hair first with shampoo then conditions it, putting a clip in it to let it set while he drops back to his knees and has me sit on the built-in bench. Tapping his leg, “Place your foot here, I’m going to help you shave your legs.”
I just silently look at him. Not daring to move.
“Baby, all I’m doing is taking care of you, nothing sexual, I just know you hate when you get hairy, and it starts itching.”
I try to not laugh because honestly, he’s not wrong.
I do as he says, and he shaves both my legs and even my underarms, before rinsing out the conditioner. He turns off the water, grabbing two towels wrapping one around his waist before pulling his shorts off from under them, “sorry, I just didn’t want to walk around in wet shorts, I’ll grab a quick change of clothes when we get back in the bedroom.”
I silently nod as he wraps the second towel around me before grabbing a third and drying my hair. He then has me sit in front of the vanity and brushes my hair, getting all the knots and tangles out without hurting me. He then does two French braids and then does my skin care for me and lotions me from top to bottom, he runs out and grabs his clothes walking back in the bathroom fully dressed as he walks up to me, he grabs his dirty shirt off the floor, “I wondered if maybe you would want to wear this?” he says holding it out to me.
I look from him to the shirt. My omega is screaming for me to take the shirt and wrap myself in it. But can I do it. Can I give into these urges to have more, to take more from my alpha’s while I feel insane inside?
I bite my lip and nod as I reach out for his shirt and slowly pull it on over my head. He smiles at me like this was a huge step in the direction he wants me to go and honestly, I think this is how I want this to go as well. I don’t want to let the monster win. I want to keep fighting. Because I have three amazing alpha’s and my beautiful Kason to live for. That monster can’t take them from me. And I refuse to let me take me from them. I will be stronger that this. I will fight for this every single day. Because they deserve me to keep fighting.