Chapter 18

How long ago was it ago? The day that her mother passed away and how everything was still fresh, still real. Vixen did not care that time healed circumstances, she couldn t wait for time to do its magic. Every second of every day was burning with remorse for the loss of her mother and nothing could keep her away from thinking of joining her poor mother who life took so early from her life.
The pain and stain of all that had happened left a deep cut, it was a tragedy that made life seem useless, fruitless and of no. She was all alone and she wanted to go to meet her mother to feel complete. All of this was too heavy on her. Just a moment ago, her body talked about how she would be there to walk the ail with her when she got married. How she had so much to teach her and how she was still her little girl.
This woman who was her mother was everything to her and right there when the remoteness is cast on her heart, she needed her mother. That was all she needed and she did not know how to move on.
She did not know how to live life. This absence created something very potent in her life and she literally was at the verge of ending it even when nobody saw it. Vixen did not want to continue to try life or see what was on the other side of it.
Pain caused her or give up on things that she loved doing, she did not know what was left the in her, the emptiness in her soul has been created and it could not be filled by any void at that time. Even her father could not complete, she felt that her world has been lost.
It was fresh, it was unreal. She had never experienced something like that before, and she wanted it to end even if it meant ending her life. So after roaming around and running away through the vast visitors and mourners who had come to cry, and mourn with them. Vixen found a way out of the estate's found herself in a forest where she felt she could do the deed.
She had a knife in her hand. She had watched a servant cut her own wrists before and she felt she could do too. She knew she could. It wasn't so hard. There was loads of pain in her. The thing that was most scary for her was to try to get through this to try to live past the death of a mother that was more scary for her than slitting our own risk.
And so she was brave, in order to do this she was feeling that death was easier than trying to move on. Vixen kept reducing herself with the knife in her hand as stands in the middle of the forest that she does not know.
Vixen doesn't even know her way back. She feels as if when she pulls this, she'll finally get to see our mother although she feels some kind of regret that she will be leaving her father all by himself.
She felt it was none that was too much to handle. When she thought of joining her mother, perhaps they would miss him together. She holds on to the knife as she closes her eyes, her lips are quivering and trembling with what looks like a velocity of fear and heart brokenness.
By the last ounce of strength that she had in her last fight, anger, sorrow and frustration and of the burden that grows in her heart. Vixen uses it to slit her wrist and in that moment she could feel as if pain wasn't enough.
Once again, a seventeen year old girl slit her own wrists in the middle of the forest. And she feels as if this wasn't enough. It's began to make her head twirl around as she began to feel the effect of the blow that stained the green grasses and she knew that she was passing on.
Vixen is standing on her feet and she looks up to the sky. She sees the way the clouds are looking over her see they have something to say but they would not say it.
"Relax, relax, relax." She tells herself, she doesn t want to panic when she is dying, she wants to go smoothly and steadily. Peacefully, like her mother did.
Dying in her sleep.
That moment is just by her side, as she begins to feel it. It's just weak, the feeling of being weak and her legs become weaker as she feels that her leg has no use anymore. she falls down upon on the grass.
Het hand is bleeding out and she struggles to breath as the seconds go by.
Vixen finds a woman hovering over her like something she had never seen before and vixen looks at the woman. The woman's eyes looks like is is gazing into her soul and she cannot tell what she is doing especially when she was in the way of passing through her last breathe.
The loss of blood is kicking in and telling her to pass out but she wants to get a closer look at this woman's face. And when she looks at the woman the woman asks one word and one word alone.
Vixen, do you want to live? The woman asks as she looks at her wondering why she would ask her if she wants to live. Did she not see that she was dying? Does the wound and the pain that is written all over her face looks like she wants to give life a go once again. No, it doesn't. She wants to end it. She doesn't want to continue and it is quite obvious for anyone who finds this suicide.
No, Vixen says so and the woman smiles even as vixen is passing on.l fill in strength come back to her a bit by bit, she still finds it strange that she can reply this uncanny woman.
What if I give you a reason to live? The woman says and Vixen looks at her. She does not understand what the woman is speaking about.
"I don't have a reason to live." Vixen replies.
The woman who is hovering around her comes down to her side closer and place a hand on Vixen wants to stop blood from flowing and looks vixen into her eyes.
Your father. If you do this, he will never forgive himself. She says to her, and tears slips from Vixen s eyes all of a sudden when the realization of what she's really doing to her father kicks in.
And something like vitality responds to her, something that makes her want to push through returns to her. She doesn't want to move on. She doesn't want to give it a go once again, that is the last thing she wanted to do.
She never even saw herself doing it. And yet, the moment she finds that father would be all alone, he would find his daughter in the forest, dead slit in the hand. He would feel betrayed like she had no love for him to be able to commit such to herself . And she nods to the woman.
"Yes, I want to live." Vixen says and a woman smiles as she removes her hand from Vixen s wrists that has been replaced b the bead and Vixen looks over at it.
"My name is Maya and by bead will give you life." She says to her and Vixen s eyes closes.
In remembrance to this, Vixen touches her hand where the bead is supposed to be as she remembers that day. It is still clear. As if it was only yesterday that it happened.
And then she traces it to the man who made sure that she lost her bead, Hunter. The carriage stops and it snaps her out of her thinking.
Vixen gets out of the carriage and her senses are sharp when she feels fresh anger from all that has happened in these last days. She looks at her side and she finds that someone is walking close to her, she turns to him and it is Hunter.
After what had happened the last time between them, she wasn t expecting him to walk towards her. He stops in front of her and she looks at him.
Vixen has no idea what to say, she is my even trying to say something. But this is the man that she has thought about destroying all of this while and what he does next is not what she expects.
Have it.
He says and hands over to her the bead.
Vixen cannot believe it. She thought he threw it away, she sent her servants everyday to the forest to find it but he had it with him all of this while.