Scared of Fatherhood

The whole way home, I keep thinking about my discussion with Xavier, everything, the king is really nice to talk to and how did our conversation just flow naturally? Nothing was forced and there was no awkwardness between us, he felt like a friend I've known for a long time now. King Xavier, a friend. We stop at a nice restaurant to have dinner and as usual he ordered steak and veggies, while I have a salad and chicken, lately I've been loving it, I sigh pushing the plate away, it's cool and lovely in here.
" Do you want anything else?" He asks still looking on his phone, I shake my head, he's been on the phone since we got here, girl needs some attention here!
He finally looks up to me with a kind small smile.
" I am fine, I want apple juice," he nods as I drink my favorite juice but he's concentration is back on phone again, I wonder why it's keeping him so busy.
He keeps looking at his phone and I him, damn, his sharp features, nose and beautiful jaw everything about him is just right, the maker really did make him to perfection. He loosen his tie then glance in my direction.
" How is work?" I ask but a scowl appears on his face.
" Tiresome,"

" Why?"

" It's always like that, my company is one of the biggest around the globe," I nod, indeed. I see them in a lot of business magazines. I decide to change the topic
" Are you excited?" He looks at me confused, before his eyes fall on my huge belly, his green eyes fixated on it before an audible sigh leaves him.
" I guess..." He goes silent " just worried," he adds at last.
" Worried?"

" About being a father, what if she doesn't love me, will I do a good job, Ava, what If I completely mess things up... Or she's not born... What if.." at this point he's rambling, fear greasing face as he keeps shaking his head, his hands on his face as he continues to think how it's a bad idea.
I reach across the table,to his hand, covering it with mine.
"Shhh.... It's alright," he finally looks up to me with scared eyes and I chuckle.
" It's not funny," he hisses, it is funny, my big bad alpha scared of fatherhood, damn.
" It's ok to be scared Nikolas, " No one knows this things. " Parenthood is not something one is ready for, or we can't predict the outcome," I keep my voice calm and low, he holds my hand tighter in his and I smile.
" Nik, it will be okay,"

" How do you know?" He asks. His eyes still trained on mine as conflict dance in his eyes, he looks confused and scared, too many emotions at once, I've never seen him like this.
" I know," I answer strongly, he is a good man deep, deep down and he will be a marvelous father. Jeremy told me how he took care of them when their parents died, he cared for them without any complains. At the age of seventeen, he was their rock, their strongest support system.
" And will you be with me?" I smile, he wants me to stay with them, oh god am so happy! I nod as tears blurry my vision.
" Yes, Nik,"

" Love, you don't have to if you don't want, the deal is still on, I already have everything ready for you," he says with kindness to his tone, gosh, I love it when he calls me love, in his beautiful British accent, a delightful shiver always runs down my spine, and my cheeks burn.
" The money, new documents..." He continues but my mind stray away, I don't want to leave them, I want to stay here, in the city, with my new family.
" I want to stay here, with you and the baby," he smiles finally.
" And about Mario," I cut him off with my hand.
" I don't want to talk about that man, not today,"  he nods before we leave, a valet brings us our car and I decide to take Xavier's advise. I have to tell him again, on our way home it has started to drizzle. The car ride is silent, and he has put on the heater, when the mansion comes in view I sigh. Lately I haven't been spending a lot of times here.
He parks the car and comes to open the car door for me.

I decide to get Xavier’s advise, just let things happen on their own, and believe they will, for now am coming content just being here, and close to him, howfully, he starts seeing me in a new light, the car drive is quiet, it’s about to rain.
He scoffs laughly, shaking his head, I look at him.
" What is it?"
" My wolf, he spoke to me again," i thought they usually have conversations with their wolf, it's their other half right? A part of them why does this surprise him? And he looks happy.
" I thought you talk to your wolf, all werewolves,"
" Well not me, so it's strange, hearing him actually formulate words not snarls,"
" Why?" I prob. It's strange.

" It's a long story, I don't like to talk about, forget it," he shrugs. Forget it? Forget it he said, does he know me? Am not one to forget or drop things, especially if it concerns him.
" But I want to know.. nik.."
" I said drop it!" He says roughly, making me jump in my seat. I look at him and his eyes are angrily looking at the room, he hasn't spoken to me in such a tone in a long time. I forgot, how angry he gets when being pressured. His knuckles are white now, gripping the steering wheel so hard. After a few minutes he gets out of the car and opens the door, u slowly get out with his help, he already has an umbrella opened, we leave the driveway with his hand on my lower back, his chest is heaving and lips are in a thin line.