Staying Away

Nikolas places a kiss on my neck gently, caressing my flat stomach with his fingers
" I love you," he whispers.
His kisses are gentle and sweet, they feel so good but a shiver goes down my body as I remember how Mario violated me weeks ago, I can't do this I feel so dirty and unworthy. I push him away shaking my head. He frowns, coming close but I take steps away from him.
" Please don't," I breathe in and it hurts me so much, Nikolas is looking at me with longing in his eyes. I tug my hair in annoyance, why do I feel this way? I gaze at Nikolas again, his expression shows confusion and worry, he loves me and he wants to be with me but I just can't and I don't think I will be so I need to do what's best for him
" I want to leave," I blurt, I need some time away from them, I'm not in my right mind.
' No you're not!' chimes my wolf, gosh, she irritates me. She will hate me but I need to do this.
Nikolas' eyes are whether in shock or fear I don't know.
" Please... Ava... don't do this," he stutters, coming closer but I stop him with my hand. My wolf howls painfully. she will never forgive me for this.
'No... Please,' begs my wolf, her voice is sad and I feel her bad.
" Look at me, I can't be with you," Nikolas shakes his head and holds my cheeks gently, he deserves to be with someone better.
" I'm not the woman for you, Nik. I thought I was but after Mario..." I trail and kiss him gently, Nikolas stays in his shock, looking at me as if trying to understand the situation. I continue to talk
" He touched me...His hands, fingers. I can feel them on me, " my voice is strained and dry. I bathe a thousand times a day, but I can still feel them, his voice and breath, I loath that man, and I hope he is rotting in hell.
I leave the room and go to my daughter's, I kiss her and watch her sleep, she looks so beautiful. I'm not in a mental state to mother her right now, Nikolas will take care of her for a while, he is an amazing father.
I carry a small bag pack and run downstairs, when I reach the salon, his voice stops me.
" You're just going to leave her as well?" I twist my neck to look at Nikolas on the staircase, he looks a mess and his eyes are red and a memory of the day I pepper-strayed him comes to mind.
" I'll visit. I promise," I smile,
" I don't want your promises! I want you to stay here! Aviana, you are still the woman I fell for," he declares, he comes to me at full speed, holding my hands.
" Don't leave," he whispers and pulls me into an embrace, I wrap my arms around him, closing my eyes
" I swear, I won't touch you, just don't leave me... I will wait until you're ready," his voice sounds desperate now, but that's it, I don't want him to put his life on hold for me, I want him to live.
" Don't do that please," I pull away, and he opens his mouth to say something but before he can, I use my speed to leave the house, with my sensitive hearing now, I can hear Nikolas screaming, I lean against the door, crying.
He continues to scream and break things.
" Nik!" I hear Jeremy and Kat's voices, I silently cry for the hurt I caused him.
I don't know how long I stayed there but I only left when his siblings managed to calm him.
..
" Hey, Ava, " Greets Troy. I came to their house when I left mine. Their apartment is three bedrooms, a beautiful living room, and a kitchen.
Aaron hands me a cup of coffee and I take it gratefully.
" You'll be fine," Troy says, pulling me into a hug.
" I am sorry, I just didn't know where to go," I apologize for the inconvenience I'm causing them.
" This is your home, you can stay here as long as you want, Miss Ava," smiles Aaron.
...
Two weeks have passed by and I'm still staying with Troy and Aaron. I've been training a lot with Xavier in their field and it does good for me. I sigh reach home and check my phone, Nikolas hasn't called me again today, I wonder why, he always calls but I don't pick up and my wolf hasn't been talking either.
Whenever I try to start up a conversation, all she does is snarl at me.
' mate, mate, mate,' is all she says.
I want my mate. I want him too and these feeling I have for him is overwhelming but I can't go to him now.

Later in the day, I go to the mansion to visit my baby. I press the doorbell and to my surprise, it's my mate who answers.