CHAPTER 223
"Thank you for saving me, Xander," Arianna said, her voice sincere but tinged with an awkward stiffness. It was the most genuine thing she could offer at that moment, given how rare it was to encounter someone willing to risk everything for another person when faced with death.
Xander’s dark eyes fixated on her, his gaze sharp and searching. His lips parted slowly, and he spoke with deliberate emphasis, each word weighted with disappointment.
"Arianna, that’s not the first thing I wanted to hear after waking up."
Arianna felt her heart skip a beat at his response.
"Then... What do you want to hear?" she asked, genuinely perplexed. She struggled to grasp what he was looking for, feeling like she had missed some unspoken expectation.
The intensity in Xander's gaze seemed to waver for a moment, a hint of something like frustration flickering in the depths of his eyes. He sighed softly and raised an eyebrow, choosing to question her instead of providing an answer.
"Is 'thank you' really all you have to say to me? Isn't there something more you want to tell me?"
Arianna felt a growing sense of unease. She blinked, confusion clouding her thoughts as she tried to comprehend what he meant. What more did he expect from her? Why was he being so difficult even after everything they had gone through?
Xander's patience was visibly waning, his voice taking on a deeper, more urgent tone.
"Alright then," he said as if resigning himself to spell it out for her.
"Let me put it this way. When I was unconscious, didn't you say you would do anything if I woke up? That you'd never bring up the idea of divorce again? That you were willing to give us a chance to have a family?"
He paused, watching her reaction closely. "Or was that just something you said in the heat of the moment?"
Arianna's mind raced as she recalled the desperate promises she had made while he lay unconscious, unsure if he would ever wake up. Now faced with the reality of his recovery, she realized the weight of her words and the expectations they had set.
Arianna was at a loss for words, utterly stunned that Xander had caught every word despite being unconscious. She had spoken those desperate promises only in a moment of panic, pouring out her heart because she had thought he might never wake up. But now, faced with the reality of Xander questioning her about them, her old fears began to surface.
Her expression shifted several times as she grappled with what to say. Anxiety gripped her, and she swallowed hard, not quite ready to face the truth of what she had confessed.
"I didn't... You must have been dreaming," she muttered, her voice barely audible.
"Dreaming?" Xander echoed, a shadow of doubt crossing his features. He remembered distinctly how Arianna's voice had pierced through the darkness of his unconscious state, drawing him back when he might have otherwise remained in the void. It felt too real, too vivid to be merely a dream.
He studied her carefully, his eyes probing, searching for the truth in her evasive demeanour.
"Arianna," he said firmly, his voice demanding her full attention,
"look at me."
Her eyes flicked up to meet his almost instinctively, caught off guard by the intensity of his gaze.
"Look at me," Xander repeated, his tone insistent and unyielding.
"Answer me again. Was I just dreaming?"
Arianna hesitated, biting down on her lower lip. Her thoughts raced, her heart pounding in her chest as she fought against the urge to run from the conversation.
His gaze was relentless, and she knew he wouldn't accept anything less than the truth. Yet, the vulnerability it required was something she wasn't sure she could manage.
After what felt like an eternity, she finally whispered, "Yes," the word coming out more as a breath than a definitive answer. It lacked conviction, but it was all she could manage.
Xander's lips curved into a smirk, one that was both knowing and resigned. He could see right through her flimsy denial, recognizing the hesitation and fear behind her eyes. It wasn’t the confirmation he wanted, but it told him enough.
Xander reached out, gently tapping Arianna’s forehead with a slender finger, his voice low and husky as he said,
“You’re lying, Arianna.”
He might not have always been able to discern her lies from the truth, but in that moment, he knew she wasn't being honest. There was something in the way she hesitated, the way her eyes couldn't quite meet his.
Arianna’s long lashes fluttered anxiously, betraying the turmoil inside her. She squeezed her eyes shut for a few seconds, trying to gather her thoughts, then opened them to meet his gaze. There was a glimmer of determination in her eyes now, an acknowledgement of the truth she could no longer deny.
“You’re right,” she admitted, her voice steadying as she spoke.
“I lied. I said all of that. It was real, and you weren’t dreaming.”
In the ICU, when she had held his cold hand and watched him lying motionless on the bed, something had shifted within her. The walls she had built around her heart had started to crumble, and in those moments of vulnerability, she could no longer keep up the pretence.
She had realized then, with stark clarity, that she had been afraid of losing him because she still loved him. No matter how hard she had tried to bury those feelings, to convince herself otherwise, they had all come rushing to the surface when she thought she might lose him forever.
Having laid her feelings bare, Arianna couldn’t help but look away, lowering her eyes to the floor. Her heart pounded as she waited for his response. Would he push her away, mock her, or dismiss her like he had in the past? Or would this time be different?
The silence stretched on, each second feeling like an eternity. When Xander still hadn’t said anything, she dared to glance up, curiosity and apprehension mingling within her.
To her surprise, she found herself looking directly into his deep, intense eyes. There was a depth there that she hadn’t noticed before, a mixture of emotions that left her breathless and uncertain of what he would say next.
