Battling The Void

***Guinevere***

I find myself starring into a black abyss. I’m trying to escape, but the darkness is too much. It’s creeping up on me and pulling me down, deeper and deeper into the void. I can hear my mate calling for me, but even his voice isn’t strong enough to pull me out. I feel so lost, so empty.

Suddenly I am surrounded by brightness. The light is shinning so brightly and I feel my insides start to warm. I feel like I’m being wrapped in the warm embrace of a weighted blanket. This brightness is so welcoming. I can feel the remaining darkness leave my soul, as if it’s a dark sticky worm, sliding away from me.

“Come my child.” I hear a deep male voice beckoning me.

I hesitate for a moment, I’m unsure if I want to the leave the familiarity of the darkness. What if this light is just a trick? What if it’ll be taken from me as soon as it’s been given, and then I’m left in the darkness, but this time feeling a loss like no other.

“Come to me.” The voice beckons again. “Let me ease your pain. Let me save you.”

The voice sounds so pure and like music to my ears. Its very alluring and enticing. Like a sirens song beckoning a sailor to the rocky shores.

I feel myself creeping towards the light, giving in and listening to the voice. The closer I get, the warmer and lighter I feel, like a giant weight has been lifted off of my chest. I take a deep breath, it’s nice to be able to breath to my full lung capacity. It’s nice not having the weight of two worlds resting on me anymore.

I’m so close to reaching the light. I’m just a step away, when suddenly, I can feel myself being thrown back. The darkness sucking me up in its hold once again. I can hear faint screaming all around, pain radiates through my body like I’ve been stabbed by tiny needles over and over again.

“Fight it Guinevere.” The warm musical voice calls to me. “Fight the darkness. Your pack needs you. Your mate needs you. The world needs you.”

“I can’t do it.” I cry my entire body shaking with all the emotion I’ve kept bottled up this last month. “I’m not enough. I’m not the hero, the savior, that everyone seems to think I am. I’m just the daughter of the pack traitors. I’m nothing.”

The darkness grows stronger around me. Threatening to close in.

“Guinevere, my child.” The voice calls to me again, “you’re so much more than the daughter of a traitor. You’re the Luna of the hybrid pack. You’re the Queen of Vamp…”

I cut the voice off. “NO!” I cried. “No I’m not. Sabrina, my wolf spirit, is the Luna of the Hybrid pack. Sierra, my succubus spirit, is the Queen of the Vampires. And me. I’m Guinevere. I am nothing.” I cry, my body shaking violently.

“I couldn’t even save them!” I shout as I recall the explosion and the feeling of pain and sorrow at the loss off the vampires and wolves who’d been in the cafeteria when the bomb went off. “How am I suppose to save the world, when I can’t even keep my own pack safe?” I croak out.

There is no response. I can no longer feel the warmth or the brightness around me anymore. I sink into the familiarity of the darkness. ‘It’s for the best’. I think as I let the darkness burry me deeper, taking me under it’s sticky folds. ‘I won’t be a distraction. I’ll be out of everyone’s way. Sabrina and Sierra will have full control of the power, my humanness won’t get in the way. Without me, they’ll have a fighting chance.’ I think as the darkness completely engulfs me.

‘Guinevere, no don’t give up.’ I can hear Sabrina faintly calling out to me.

‘We need you.’ Comes the feint whisper of sierra’s voice. ‘We need you to lend us your strength, your perseverance, your will to keep battling.’

‘We can’t do this without you.’ Sabrina cried.

‘You were given to us as much as our spirits were given to you. You’re our ground wire. You keep us centered. Only with you can we unlock our full potential.’ Sierra continues to ramble on.

‘Guinevere, we need you to win this war, we will lose without you.’ Sabrina said.

Their voices are growing fainter. I find myself trying to dig out of the darkness, so I can hear them more clearly, but this void is so heavy, and I’m only me.

Suddenly the brightness and warmth is back. The light is so bright, it’s burning me. I want to scream in pain at the unfamiliarity of it.

I feel a hand reach down to pull me out, and I grab for it blindly, hoping I’ve made the right decision.