Chapter 182
It had been a few days since I started feeling like things between Jake and I were beginning to shift, but it was still slow, and that was okay. We had both been through so much, and as much as I yearned for something more, I knew it wasn’t the time to rush. Jake was still wrapped up in the memories of his late mate, Prisca. I didn’t want to push him, and yet, I couldn’t help but notice the subtle glances, the moments where our hands brushed, and the way he would pause for a second when I entered the room.
It was confusing. There were days when I felt like I was invisible to him, and then there were moments when I could almost feel his attention on me, like a pull I couldn’t explain.
The twins, Logan and Lily, were growing so fast. It felt like every day they were learning something new. Lily had started giggling in the mornings when I would tickle her, and Logan, oh Logan, his little smile would melt my heart every time he looked at me. I loved them with all my heart, and I couldn’t imagine a life without them. They were my little miracles, my treasures, and no matter what happened between Jake and me, I would always put them first.
That morning, as I walked into the nursery to check on the babies, I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around, and there he was. Jake.
"Hey," he greeted me quietly, his voice low, like he was still sorting through his thoughts.
I smiled at him, not sure what to say. Things had been better between us, but there was still so much unsaid.
"Hey," I replied softly, trying to keep my tone casual, though my heart was racing in my chest. Why was it that when Jake was near, everything inside me seemed to react?
"How are they doing?" he asked, glancing at Logan, who was cooing softly in his crib.
"They’re great," I said with a smile, stepping aside to let him get a better look at the twins. "Just growing too fast."
He nodded, his gaze lingering on Logan for a moment before meeting my eyes. There was something in his eyes, a mixture of longing and hesitation. "I’ve been thinking about what you said," he started, his words coming slowly, like he wasn’t quite sure how to form them.
My stomach fluttered nervously. What had I said? Had I overstepped?
"About... the twins?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady.
"Yeah," he replied, his eyes never leaving mine. "I know you’re doing everything you can to keep them safe. I see how much you care for them." He paused, his jaw tightening slightly. "I just... I don’t know if I’m ready to be the father they need. Or if I can give them what they deserve."
My heart twisted at his words. I knew how much Jake cared for the twins, even if he couldn’t fully accept it yet. The love he had for them was buried deep, and I could see it in the way he watched them when he thought no one was looking.
"Jake," I whispered, walking closer to him. "You don’t have to do everything perfectly. They love you already. They need you, just as you are."
He looked down at me then, his expression softening. "I just don’t want to mess this up," he admitted quietly.
I reached out, placing a hand on his arm, trying to offer comfort without pushing him too much. "You won’t. You’re already doing great."
He looked down at our hands, his fingers brushing against mine for a brief moment. It was enough to send a ripple of warmth through me. The connection between us, the mate bond, felt more intense in that moment, like we were both acknowledging it without saying a word.
"I’m trying," he murmured, looking back at the twins.
"I know you are," I said softly. "And that’s all that matters."
The room fell silent for a moment, just the soft sounds of the twins cooing and the faint hum of the world outside. It was a peaceful, quiet moment, one I hadn’t realized I needed so badly.
"I’m glad you’re here," I added quietly. "With us."
Jake turned to face me then, his eyes filled with emotion, though he didn’t speak. It was like he was holding something back, something he didn’t know how to say. I wanted to tell him that it was okay, that I understood. But I knew it wasn’t that simple. We both had our baggage, our fears, and our doubts.
"I’m not sure what’s going to happen between us, Ayla," he said softly, his voice almost a whisper. "But I know I don’t want to lose you. And I can’t lose them, either."
I smiled, my heart swelling with affection for him. "You won’t lose us," I promised. "We’re in this together, for the long haul."
He nodded, looking down at the twins again, and I could see the shift in him. It wasn’t a grand gesture, not yet. But it was a start.
As the days went on, things between us continued to evolve. Slowly, we began to trust each other more. He would spend time with the twins, and I would catch him watching them with a softness in his eyes. It wasn’t the intense, passionate connection I dreamed of, but it was something real. And for now, that was enough.
One evening, as we sat together in the living room, I couldn’t help but feel the tension between us. The air seemed thick with unspoken words, and for the first time in a long while, I felt like Jake was really seeing me. Not as Prisca’s replacement, not as the mother of his children, but as me — Ayla.
"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly, noticing how his jaw clenched as he stared out the window. I knew he was still wrestling with his feelings.
Jake looked at me then, his expression vulnerable for just a second before it hardened again. "I don’t know what to say," he confessed. "I’ve been pushing you away, and I don’t know how to stop doing it."
I moved closer to him, my heart aching for him. "You don’t have to stop, Jake. You’re allowed to feel what you feel. But I need you to know that I’m here. I won’t leave you. Not for anything."
He turned to face me fully, his eyes searching mine as if trying to gauge my sincerity. "I don’t deserve you, Ayla."
I reached for his hand then, lacing my fingers through his. "You don’t have to deserve me. We’re in this together, remember?"
He let out a breath, a smile tugging at his lips. It was small, but it was there.
And in that moment, I knew that even though the road ahead would be difficult, even though Jake and I were both still healing, we would get through it together. The bond we shared, however slow it was growing, was something I couldn’t ignore. And deep down, I knew he was starting to see it, too.
II
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