Part A: Chapter 11

I froze on my spot, never had I thought that Ivan would do something like that and he pulled away so fast that he tipped his chair back and fell to the ground,
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking,” he said as he crawled backwards on his hands. His face looked pale as if he had seen a ghost. “Oh gosh, I don’t know what I was thinking, please don’t tell Aidan.”

He was grumbling to himself as he continued to crawl back while I sat still frozen. My head was still trying to process exactly what had just happened and I wasn’t sure if any of it was even true. He couldn’t have done that, right? Maybe it was just a bad dream, all of it was just a bad dream and I was going to wake up and none of it was going to be true. I would wake up and Aidan would be by my side and I wouldn’t have learnt about the prophecy and Ivan wouldn’t have kissed me.

I blinked, trying to wake up from this bad dream but when I opened my eyes, everything was still the same. Nothing had changed, I was still in the same chair I had been on and Ivan was still on the floor grumbling to himself. Tears pricked my eyes when realisation struck. All of this was real. I was living a horrible nightmare and I wasn’t sure I would be able to wake up from it even if I tried.

“Please don’t tell Aidan, he will kill me if he finds out what I have done,” Ivan said, pulling me away from my thoughts. “I didn’t mean to do it. I don’t know, it just happened. I can’t explain it, it was like I was there and then suddenly I don’t know.” Ivan crawled on his knees until he was kneeling in front of me. He tried to hold my hands but thought better of it and they fell by his sides. “You have to believe me Jemila, I swear I would never do intentionally, fuck, I wouldn’t even do it knowing how protective Aidan is.”

“I don’t know what to say,” the words finally left my mouth and they sounded foreign even to me.

“Aidan is going to kill me, fuck, fuck, I wasn’t thinking.” He tagged his hair really hard and sat on the ground. “Fuck, he’s going to kill me and I would have deserved it for kissing you.”

Some sense began to come back to me and I shook my head. “He won’t do anything to you because he doesn’t have to know, mistakes happen and this was it,” I said, trying as much to convince him as I was trying to convince myself. Deep down I knew that I had to tell him even though I hated doing it to Ivan but then again, if I left now, Aidan would never have to find out about it. That was the only thing that made saying the words I said better. “We can just forget that any of this happened, okay?”

Ivan looked at me with hopeless eyes, “I don’t know if that will be possible,” his voice came out small and frail. “I heard mates can smell each other and his going to get my scent on you and then he is going to kill me for taking advantage of you when I was supposed to be looking after you. Do you know just how unforgiving Aidan can be? I grew up with him and his temper is far worse when someone touches what is strictly his.”

That made anger flashed through me, I was an object and Aidan didn’t own me. I may not truly know where I was from or anything about my past but I liked to think that I was my own person. Thank the Goddess that we hadn’t fully mated and he hadn’t marked me yet, otherwise it would have made leaving that much harder and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to fight my wolf on that level.

“I don’t belong to him,” I snapped, shooting him a glare as I got up from the chair I was sat. “Just do yourself a favour and forget any of this ever happened and I’ll do the same.” I walked past Ivan, out of the secret library and then finally out of the main library. I kept walking without looking back.

I had no idea where I was going but I needed to clear my head before I went back to Aidan’s quarters and grabbed my stuff. I walked all the way past the lake and then into the forest. The sun was fading in the distance the deeper I went but I didn’t care. I just needed to get as far away from that place as possible so I could think straight.

I kept walking until suddenly I felt exhausted and sat under the nearest tree I found. There, I laid my head back against the tree trunk and closed my eyes to catch my breath. Darkness washed over my face as all the pain from the day began engulfing me, pulling me deeper and deeper into the pain that I wanted nothing more than to get rid of.
I blinked my eyes open and the darkness floated away but in its wake it left the residue that I knew would continue to haunt me for a long time. I pushed myself back up and begun the trek back to the Carmichael estate where I was going to grab my stuff and escape until the night.

By the time I got back to Aidan’s quarters, it was already nightfall and my anxiety had eased a bit because I could easily sneak out and no one would ever know. I rushed to the bedroom and changed into some black jeans and a matching hoodie, that way no one would see me when I was walking out and then tied my braid into a ponytail. I looked at myself on last time in the mirror before I grabbed my bag and made for the door.

But when I opened the door, Shelly was standing there, about to knock, Crap. I instantly tossed the bag behind the door and smiled at her while she just looked at me suspiciously but didn’t say anything.

“Shelly, what can I do for you?” I asked, hoping she couldn’t hear just how panicked I actually was. I was almost there.

Shelly eyed me up and down and then gestured her head inside which made me internally groan.

Why were these people always showing up just when I was about to leave? Could they sense that I was up to something and wanted to keep an eye on me? Or had Aidan instructed that they watch over like I was a child? Angry coursed through me at the thought of him having his people watch over like that.

“Come in.” I moved aside and she entered but not before sighing loudly.

She walked over to the couch and made herself comfortable and that annoyed me. “Where were you going?” she asked, not wasting any time and a tiny part of me was glad she went directly to the point.

I glared at the back of her head, not moving from my position by the door. I wanted no correction, needed her to leave as soon as possible. “That is none of your business,” I snapped. It wasn’t that I was angry with her but more like I was angry with Aidan and with myself for how stupid I had been. “If that was all you wanted, then you can leave.”
Shelly sighed and turned her head so that she was looking at me. “Look, I’m not the villain here and I’m not trying to be one. I’m simply just trying to look out for my brother and this pack,” she said, “so please don’t make me out to be the villain in your story.”

I sighed, she had a point. “Then why do you look at me as if I’m the villain?”

“Force of habit. Aidan tends to pick up a lot of strays,” she replied with a shrug. “And as for the reason I’m here, I just wanted to see how you’re settling in. Whether Esther has implored people to tend to your needs.”

“She has, thanks.”

Shelly stood up, walked over and patted my shoulder and then left. I watched her go until she disappeared and then shook my head. I turned around to pick my bag when I suddenly felt a hard object smash against my head and spots appeared in my eyes before everything was absorbed with darkness.