Part B: Chapter 45

***Jemila’s POV***

“I think I’m going to leave, you gave me something to work on in order to find out who and where I’m from.” I turned to Carter who was standing in the doorway of the spare bedroom that he had let me use for the time being. “I can’t stay here when I feel unwelcome.”

Carter sighed as he folded his arms across his chest. “I know it’s not my place to tell you to stay because only one person can do that and he’s still stuck in his feelings,” he said as he pushed away from the door and moved towards me. “I want to ask you to stay because I’ve grown used to having you around and just hanging out with you. Losing you will be hard for the pack but it’s your decision and I have to respect it even though I truly hate it.”

“Thanks for understanding,” I stuffed the last of my leggings into the duffle bag and then wrapped my arms around Carter’s waist. “I’m going to miss you so much.”
Carter wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, his head leaning in my hair. “I’m going to miss you too little wolf. Just know that you will always have a home here, anytime. Okay?”

“I know.” I tightened my hold on him, already missing him and all the times that we spent together. All those times when we would sit, drink and just talk about everything and nothing. All those times when he woke me up at 5am for training and then proceeded to hand me my arse in the training room after he had said he was going to go easy on me. All those times when he was just there for me when I needed someone. I was going to miss all of those moments but I knew I had to do this. I had to find out what had really happened to my parents and I didn’t care if I ended up losing my life in the process. It was a risk I was ready to take because they deserved that much.

I pulled back from Carter but he still kept his hands on my shoulders. “Are you sure there is nothing I can do to make you stay?”

I smiled, “I don’t think you can make me change my mind at this point. It’s something that I need to do for myself if I’m going to be the best version of myself.”

Carter smiled. “I know little wolf, I know but that doesn’t mean I can’t try.” He shrugged as he finally let go of my shoulders and allowed me to finish packing. “Someone is here to say goodbye.”

I turned around just as Ivan entered the room. He wore a sad smile with his hands at his back. “You didn’t think you could leave without saying goodbye to me?” He said once he was standing in front of me.

I wrapped my arms around him and he wrapped me in one of the tightest hugs. It made me feel comforted but also sad because I was leaving people who had now become an integral part of my life. Was I doing the right thing by leaving like this?

“I was going to tell you,” I said into his shirt.

“When?” He asked as he pulled back and looked me in the eyes. “When you were halfway into a strange land and you had no one to protect you? Is that it?”

I looked down in shame because I hadn’t planned on saying goodbye to anyone other than Carter. I wanted to leave unseen because then everything would have been easy.
This was making leaving harder than it already was.

“I’m sorry.”

Ivan wrapped his arms around me again, holding onto me so tight like he never intended to let me go. “It’s okay, I understand you have to do this and I won’t stop you even though it sucks to have you leave us like this.”

Never had I ever thought that I would meet such people who made me feel welcome into their family and accepted me as one of them, I had started getting so used to living alone in the forest that this never even crossed my mind. But here I was, feeling tears brimming at the corners of my eyes because I was leaving behind the people who had taken me in when I had no one in order to search for those that weren’t here anymore.

“Shh, don’t cry. You can always find a place here.”

He said the same thing that Carter had said and it even broke my heart even more. Someone cleared their throat, making all of us turn our attention to the doorway where Aidan stood looking awkward. Ivan pulled back from me and handed me a small wolf plushie.

“Take care,” he whispered and then he and Carter left the room but not before Carter clapped Aidan on the back in that brotherly way that I had seen them do so often.

“If you are here to stop me from leaving then you are already let,” I said then turned away from him. “Carter and Ivan have already tried. I’m going.”

“I didn’t come here to stop you,” he said so quietly that I wasn’t sure whether I had heard him properly. “I want you to do what you have to but please.” He turned me around to face him and it looked like he had been crying. It broke my heart to see him like that but maybe this was for the best for both of us. “Can you not reject me?”

I was stunned, that was what he had to say. I slapped his hand away from my arm and glared at him. “You have the nerve of showing up here and asking such a ridiculous thing from me when all you have done was make it clear that you would never trust me. So why the hell would I not break your heart after you broke mine, huh?” I was livid. I was leaving and instead of him trying to stop me or saying anything good he had to go and say that of all things. I hadn’t planned on rejecting him before but now he had given me enough reason to do it.

Aidan tried to hold my hands but I pulled them away from him.”Fuck, I didn’t mean it come out like that. Of course I don’t want you to go.” He tugged at his hair in frustration then looked at me with such hurt eyes. “I’m not good at these kinds of things.”

“That doesn’t mean you get to ask me something as ridiculous as that. I wasn’t planning on doing it but maybe I just might. End this painful experience for me once and for all.”

“Please don’t.” He knelt down in front of me and a tear slipped down his cheek. “I know I hurt you so much but please don’t break the only good thing that I have come to get used to having in my life. You can go and find the answers you need but just please don’t reject me.”

I sighed and used my thumb to wipe away the tear that had fallen from his eye. “I won’t, but I do have to go and I do hope you can learn to forgive me.” I helped him to his feet and held his hands in mine. “Maybe this is what we truly needed, some space away from each other so we could figure out what we mean to each other.”

Aidan sniffed and pulled me into an embrace. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be the best man you truly deserved,” he whispered in my hair. I ran my fingers through him and felt something wet dripping. Pulling my hand back, I looked at blood stained my fingers and I screamed as I watched Aidan slump to the ground.

There was a person dressed in a black ski mask staring at me whilst holding a large metal bar. “Shh,” they said as they brought one finger to their mouth. “Do as I say and I will let him leave. Make a scene and I will have both of you dead before the next words can leave your mouth. Got it?”

I clasped my hands around my mouth and nodded my head.

“Good.” The person walked over to me and swung the metal bar at me, hitting the side of my head with so much force that I saw darkness and that was it.