Part A: Chapter 20

Days passed and my sleeping was slowly going back to normal. I could finally sleep without having nightmares about things I couldn’t remember when I woke up. And my relationship with both Emy and Sean wasn’t like before. Now, Emy would tell me stories as we sat waiting for Sean to come back and when Sean came, he would always insist he cook.

It was really nice of him to offer to teach me how to cook. At first, I had found it insulting that he assumed I couldn’t cook but I was later proven wrong. I really couldn’t cook, making breakfast was as good as I got. But now, because of him, I was getting better and I could make really nice looking dishes though I was still not as excellent as Sean.

“Who would have thought you could cook,” I blurted out and Sean stared at me weirdly. “I mean like most guys from all the books I’ve read always expect the woman to cook and do everything while they boss her around but you are different,” I added, cursing myself for saying that out loud.

Sean tilted his head and some hair fell into his eyes, making him look twice as appealing as he already was. “Thanks I guess?” he asked, still staring at me while he kneaded the dough.

Today he was teaching me how to make the perfect red velvet cake along with chocolate covered doughnuts. He was doing everything while I just observed how fluidly his hands moved through that dough, treating it with so much care and affection and I suddenly found myself feeling jealous. I wonder how his fingers will feel on my skin. Crap, I shouldn’t be having such thoughts of him. He had helped Lila, my kidnapper for crying out loud and I wasn’t supposed to be feeling anything for him other than gratitude that he had saved me from her and treated me like I was a person and not some toy.

“Yep, and I really like eating your food,” I said cheerfully, “but mostly I like watching you cook, how expertly your hands move around the kitchen.”

A smile appeared at the corners of his mouth and I wondered why. Had I said something amusing to him?

“What? Did I say something funny?” I asked, feeling confused.

“Nothing, you’re cute when you’re confused,” he shrugged and turned his attention back to the dough, a dimple that I had come to appreciate making its way on his left cheek.

I poked it without thinking and Sean stilled. “Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking. It just looked adorable and I wanted to poke it,” I apologised, pulling my hand away and moving back onto my chair. I cursed myself for being so stupid. I always managed to do something really stupid whenever I was alone with him and then I ended up not being able to leave it down.

“Fuck, you make this hard,” he whispered under his breath as he moved to the fridge and grabbed some milk and came back to the island where my shameless arse was sat, checking him out from behind. “We agreed you wouldn’t do that unless you had made up your mind, remember?”

“I know, sorry,” I apologised again, this time keeping my hands under the island so I wouldn’t do anything stupid and embarrass myself any further.

“I can’t control myself around you and the more physical contact you make, the harder it gets because my wolf also wants you even though deep down I know you can never be mine,” he sounded so broken and hurt that I swore right there and then that I would never do anything stupid again.

“I know and I’m sorry but I can’t help it if you are always being sweet and nice to me. You can’t expect me to not have urges which now that I say out loud makes me sound really weird and creepy but if we are being honest with each other then I need to let you know. I know it’s taking me long to decide who I want to be with but you can’t possibly expect me to just give in to you because you’re nice to me all the time.”

I took a breath, I needed to say this before I lost my nerve again and I knew he would listen to me even if it ended up hurting him. That was just how freaking good he was and I hated that I couldn’t give him the answer he wanted.

“You helped Lila kidnap me for crying out loud and then saved me, making me your prisoner,” he visibly winced at that but I continued. “Then you tell me you like me and act nice and smooth and cute all the time, it’s sickening because I want to give in so badly but I can’t. I can’t do that to Aidan even if he isn’t here. I’m just not that type of person or whatever.”

I could finally breathe after that, waiting for him to say anything but he didn’t. He just stood there, unmoving and expressionless. “Say something, dammit.”

But he didn’t, instead, he stopped what he was doing, wiped his hands on the kitchen towel that was on his shoulder and made his way to me. He stood still, trying to come up with what to say because he opened and closed his mouth a few times before sighing and racking his fingers through his hair.

“Look, I’m not trying to force you to do anything,” he began, taking his time to let the words sink in. “I know it’s not been easy for you and I wish I could just let you have what you want but if you so much as step a foot outside this place, Lila will be after you and I can’t guarantee you will make it because she thinks you are a threat to her perfect union with Aidan. Our parents had already made plans for them to get married if Aidan didn’t find a mate by 24 and she’s been hellbent on making sure that he never finds one.”

I didn’t know all that but it finally made sense why she wanted him so badly. They were betrothed to each other and I was the outsider who didn’t belong.

“I can’t change who your mate is but I also can’t rat my sister out to Aidan because then a war will break out between our packs and I don’t want that. If you can’t ever love me the same way you love Aidan then it’s also fine because being your friend isn’t half as bad as you’d think.” He took a step towards me but then thought better about it and stepped back. “I like knowing that I have someone to talk to about everything and nothing. I like walking into my room knowing that there is a beautiful woman sitting in my room wearing baggy clothes who simply brings a smile to my face just by being there. I like knowing that you can count on me for anything and I can count on you for anything when my family gets shitty and I need someone to lean on.”

My breath felt logged in my throat at his words. I liked talking to him about everything and nothing. I liked knowing that he would always walk through the door and cheer me up. I liked the fact that he always took care of me even when he was tired. Gosh, what was happening to me? Did I suddenly develop feelings for him? Was this how cheaters felt? Knowing what you were doing was wrong but also finding the thrill and joy in it?

“It may not mean anything to you but it means the world to me,” Sean went on, finally getting the courage to take a step towards me with each word he uttered. “For fucks sake, I’ve never felt this way about anyone nor have I ever confessed to being n love with someone before but fuck,” he tugged at his hair when he was just an inch away from me. “You make me feel things I have never felt before and I don;t know what to think. Are you just using me to finally find your way out of here and into his arms?”

There was so much I wanted to say but couldn’t. My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest.

“So yes, make me the villain in your story if that is what you want but I will never stop loving you,” he held my hands as he said that and I could feel tears brimming at the corners of my eyes. His hands moved to my waist and held me in place, his face slowly moving closer until his lips were on mine.

My hands automatically moved to hold his shoulder but the sound of the door breaking and then a growl made us pull apart. We both turned to see who it was and my heart sunk.

*Aidan.*