Part A: Chapter 18

***Part Two***

My breath caught in my throat as I took him in. If I had thought he looked hot in jeans, then I was wrong. I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

“You can leave us now,” he said to Emy who bowed her head and then quietly slipped out of the door. Sean walked over to me and stopped when he was standing in front of me, my eyes following his every move. “I missed you,” he breathed and closed his eyes, his chest moving up then down as he took a deep breath.

I had to snap my gaze from him and look anywhere but at him. “When did you change into a suit?” I asked instead, changing the subject.

Sean sat down next to me, so close that his shoulder was brushing up against mine. “I have my ways,” he replied with a shrug, making shivers run through my body at his touch. “Have you had dinner already?”

I just shrugged, afraid of speaking in case my voice ended up betraying me.

Sean took out his phone, his jacket and typed something really quickly then placed it on the table when he was done.

“Can I ask you something?”

I turned to face him, my eyebrows knitted in confusion and curiosity. “Sure, what is it?”

“Would you kiss me if I asked? Like a gentleman would?”

My mouth dropped open in shock, I tried saying something but no words came to mind. I didn’t know whether to feel happy that he asked or disgusted that he would think I would ever cheat on Aidan like that.

“Just one small simple kiss, no tongue,” he added, his eyes shining brighter, specks dancing in them. He looked like a child who was trying to ask his parents for the newest toy, afraid that they would say no.

Something tugged at my heart strings and I felt myself almost agreeing to his ludicrous request. “I-I can’t do that,” I finally said, feeling the words leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. I wanted to kiss him. I wanted to feel his pink soft looking lips and I hated myself for even thinking that. What was I turning into? Some slut like Lila had made me out to be. I didn’t want her to be right about me.

Sean sighed, “can’t or won’t?” he asked, edging closer to me. “If you’re afraid of falling for me, I promise to go easy on you.”

“That’s not why, I can’t cheat on Aidan,” I replied, this time feeling myself getting bolder. “Therefore I won’t do that, not if I have a say about it.”

Sean moved closer again, which seemed impossible because he was already so close that I could feel his body heat radiating from his suit and onto my bare skin. “It’s not cheating if he doesn’t find out. I won’t tell you if you don’t.”

I lifted my hand up, ready to slap him but he held my hand and pinned me on the couch so fast I didn’t see how it all happened. Then he was on top of me, his gaze burning into me that I couldn’t look away.

“Just one kiss and then I won’t bother you,” he said, his face inching closer to mine until I could feel his breath fanning my lips.

My eyes darted to his lips and I felt myself wanting him to kiss me. Without another word, Sean’s lips were on mine and we froze. Him probably from not knowing what I was going to do and me burning inside. Slowly, I felt his lips start moving, my hands still pinned above my head on the couch and some of his weight pressed against me.

My lips followed his lead and he smirked before he deepened the kiss, his tongue doing things I never knew existed and I found myself craving more and more and then it stopped. He was sitting back on his side and I was still on the couch breathing heavily as I stared at the ceiling wondering what the hell had just happened.

“Fuck, if that lasted longer then I don’t think I would have been able to stop myself,” he said breathlessly. I’m going to take a cold shower.” Then he was gone in a flash.

******
Sean came out of the bathroom 30 minutes later wearing gray joggers and a white shirt. His wet hair was dripping water onto his shirt, making it stick to his body like a second skin.

“Would you like to eat something?” he asked, using his fingers to comb through his hair.

I found myself staring and had to look away. This man was going to be the death of me. I had spent the time he was in the bathroom telling myself why this was a bad idea and why I should be ashamed of what I had done yet here I was finding myself swooning over him again. It was as if I had no control over my body and mind when he was in the same room. Something was definitely wrong with me.

“Yeah, sure,” I replied.

Sean brightened up and walked over to another door I’d only seen and then opened it. “Come on, I’m starving,” he said.

I got up and walked over as he held the door open for me to pass through before he entered after me. The room was moderate, there was a wooden mahogany table in the middle and the wall was covered in shelves stacked high with books.

“I like to read in here whenever I get the chance, it’s really comforting,” he said as he walked over to the table that was already set.

“I don’t remember anyone coming in,” I added as I joined him at the table, taking a seat opposite from him.

“I’m a man of many secrets of love,” he winked at me as he opened the plates up, revealing something that both smelled and looked amazing. “Hope you don’t mind having Indian food.”

I spooned some of the curry and rice onto my plate then took a bite, flavours exploded in my mouth and I had to control myself so as not to moan out in bliss.

“Glad you like it, I was afraid you wouldn’t,” he said and I looked at him, really looked at him. He truly looked relieved that I liked the food he had no doubt asked someone to prepare and then bring in without my noticing it.

I just nodded my head, not saying another and continued to eat. I liked the silence but also loathed it because it meant I was left with my thoughts and they had a tendency of going to places that they shouldn’t.

I could feel Sean’s gaze on me but I ignored it, pretending to be very captivated by the food on my plate because my head was hung low, not making any eye contact which was probably for the best. *Please stop looking at me, it’s making me feel things I don’t want to and I hate it*.

“You know, some people tend to look at the person they are having dinner with,” he began, “I know I’m not as hot or whatever as Aidan but I do try to make you feel comfortable and appreciated. If this is about the kiss, then I apologise. I didn’t mean for things to go they way did but *fuck*-”

I wanted to look at him, wanted to see if what he was saying was the truth or if he was just lying to me in hopes that I would willingly give myself to him tonight. But I had to stop myself, he truly meant what he was saying then he would let me go. There was no point in him keeping me as his prisoner if he knew deep down that I was never going to reciprocate his feelings.

“*-fuck*, I just couldn’t help myself once I tasted those sweet lips of yours, all I wanted was more but I know you don’t want that.”

Slowly, I placed my fork back onto the plate and turned my gaze on him. I searched his face to see whether he was lying or not but all I saw was a man who wanted to be loved. A man who was used to getting what he wanted all the time but who also loved the thrill of the chase.

“If you know I can never love you then why try? Why do you continue to make both our lives miserable and hard but going after something that you can never have?”

“If that’s the case then you wouldn’t have kissed me with as much passion as you had back there. If that were the case, you would have tried to mind link with Aidan and tell him your whereabouts. If that were the case then you wouldn’t sleep on the same bed as I do much less pout when I pulled away from you during that kiss. Heck, I don’t even think you know what you want anymore. I think you are lost and trying to find your way but aren’t sure whether I am lying to you the same way he did or if I’m telling the truth and a part of you doesn’t want to admit that I’m telling the truth. If you want answers then I can get them for you but only if you trust me.”

I was frozen in place by his eyes as they bore through my soul, letting me know he was telling me the truth that I knew deep down.

“For what’s worth, I hope he used to make you happy and I hope he learns to appreciate you as much as I do,” he tossed his napkin and stood up and left, leaving me alone again with my thoughts.