Part B: Chapter 22

***Jemila’s POV***

Aidan was treating me oddly and I couldn’t blame after what he had seen. He didn’t speak to me nor did he even want to be around me and it hurt because I had always been thinking about him every second of every waking hour.

I sighed and tossed a glance at him, he was sitting at the table with papers strewn all around him with his head buried deep in them. He kept frowning every once in a while and I wanted to ask what was wrong but wasn’t sure how that would be received.

“Aidan,” I called out without thinking and had to slap a hand over my mouth so I didn’t say anything more. I was meant to be space so he could think and not pressure him. Though I really just wanted to hear his voice. The last time I heard him speak was when he told Liam to take me back and then he left. It was all still fresh in my mind, which made me wonder just how fresh it was in his.

Aidan looked up from the paper he had been reading and stared at me blankly, making my whole body and brain freeze on what I had to say next.

I took a deep breath in to compose myself before I said anything that would make me seem like a fool. “I’m sorry about everything but I just want you to know that I don’t know what came over me. It’s not like I was throwing myself at Sean every single day, that was the one time I kissed him, I swear. You have to believe me.” I don’t know how I ended up finding myself on my knees clutching to his jeans as tears streamed down my face. I really was pathetic, wasn’t I?

Aidan just kept on looking at me and then pried my fingers from his jeans as he stood up, gathered all the papers and walked into the bedroom, leaving me alone on the floor looking just as pathetic as I was feeling on the inside.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking,” I sobbed out loudly and then fell to the floor, clutching my knees to my chest.

I had hurt him and I wasn’t sure how I could make him forgive me. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be together if all we did was hurt each other every time we were around one another. Maybe I was better off dead or lost or maybe kidnapped again. Maybe that was what was best for us. I couldn’t keep seeing him every day knowing that I was the one who had hurt him like that and broken his trust. I should leave, I didn’t feel welcome the first time I was here and I sure as hell didn’t feel welcome now.

I lay there on the floor crying my eyes out when Carter entered and found me. He sighed as he made his way over to me and knelt down.

“Come on, let’s get you somewhere warm before you catch something,” he said quietly but I knew he knew what I had done to his best friend and the Alpha of his pack. It was the ultimate betrayal and I wasn’t sure why he was even talking to me.

“Just leave me alone, I don’t deserve to be here if he won’t even talk to me,” I said, the tears now dried up and replaced with a numbness I was now all too familiar with. “I should just die, that will solve all of your problems and he can go ahead and marry Lila.”

Carter stilled but then he went back to acting normal as if it had never happened. “Look, just give him some time to process everything and I’m sure he will come around eventually,” he muttered. “Just don’t ever talk about dying because if that ever happened, he would never be the same again, a part of him would die with you.”

I lolled my head to the side so that I could see him properly and he looked pissed, a look I had never seen on him until today. “Why? It’s not like he can’t find someone to replace me with.”

Carter picked me up and sat me straight, his hands remained on my shoulders. “I don’t know what he told you but you’re his freaking mate, he feels everything you feel and if you died he would eventually follow you if your connection is that strong. That’s just how us lycans work. And trust me, if he ended up rejecting you or you rejected him during the mating ritual then he would be the one to suffer most and I can’t see my best friend suffering,” his eyes looked fierce and I felt a shiver at his words. “Just give him some time, okay?”

My eyes fluttered as my mouth opened and closed, trying to regain my full consciousness. I didn’t want Aidan to suffer and I sure as hell didn’t want to be on Carter’s bad side so I nodded hazily, the numbness still taking most of my senses.

“Good, now let’s get you on the couch and have someone bring you something to eat,” he picked me up in his arms and carried me to the couch where he gently placed me and then wrapped a fleece over me. “I’ll call Esther to bring you something warm to eat and drink.” Then he turned and made his way to the bedroom where Aidan was, no doubt he had heard everything with his heightened sense of hearing.

*****
Esther had brought me food and tried talking to me but I wasn’t much of a company to her. I only answered with one word or nodded my head but she seemed to get the hint that I didn’t want to talk to anyone because once I was done eating, she took the plates and left.

I kept wondering why Esther had treated me the way she used to, as if she didn’t know what I had done. Maybe she didn’t know and the only ones who knew were Aidan and Carter. But whatever it was, I just hoped that Aidan would forgive me and start talking to me again because I had truly missed him.

Carter was the first to come out of the bedroom but Aidan followed shortly after. “I’ll have someone stand guard outside,” Carter said, shooting me a sympathetic look. “Aidan won’t be sleeping here tonight.”

“Okay,” I said but what I wanted to say was something else. I had to give him time just as Carter had suggested and that meant not pushing him to talk to me. I watched as they left and my heart felt as if it was leaving with them.