Past time

*Joseph*

I immediately felt the desire to follow her when she stormed out. Instantly getting to my feet walking down the hallway. I looked back at the others and told them not to follow me. They couldn't see that this woman affected me in the way she did. I wasn't ready for anyone to see the weakness I was feeling. I had to go make her understand. I walked towards her room trying to think of what I was going to say to her. I had to keep myself in control. I couldn't touch her. I know my want to take her would take me over. I know I can't give in to my impulses. If I reach for her body or taste her skin, I would make her mine. If I make her mine I won't be able to let her go. I feel it when she is close to me. I can feel my body craving to be close to hers. My skin craved to feel hers. My fingertips yearned to explore her body. I could feel my length begging to be inside of her. Begging to fill her up completely. I walked down the hall towards her door hearing it slam in the distance. I stopped walking closing my eyes and briefly steadying myself against the wall. I took a few deep breaths as flashes of that week started running through my mind.

Summer 2008

Ohio was so hot in August. Mason and I had headed down for a weekend to pick up some things for the brotherhood. We were to meet with a buyer from Columbus but we met him in a small southeastern town. Less attention. We were just getting started really. We were so young and wild at the time. We had decided to hit up a few bars. We weren't quite 21 yet but we had very convincing New York Fake I.Ds. Before we went into the bar we spotted a gym right down the block. We stopped for a quick workout. There was a man there named Charlie. Quite a local celebrity as a boxing champion. Mason was feeling like a badass and challenged him to a match. Charlie wasn't very big but the way he hit that punching bag, I knew Mason was going to get killed. He smiled at me "Dude, I got this." I laughed and told him something about famous last words. While I sat outside of the ring, a young beautiful blonde girl walked out of the back office. I couldn't stop looking at her. She instantly took my breath away in a way that no girl ever had before. I walked up to her and she didn't even look up at me. "My dad is going to kill your friend" is all she said as she started to gather dirty towels off of the benches. I probably had a big stupid smile on my face. I wasn't used to girls just not paying attention to me. "Have you ever been to that bar at the end of the block?" I sure thought I was something back then, but she wasn't having it. She looked straight at me. She looked pissed. "That bar has been trying to buy out my dad's gym for months. They want to expand down the damn street. " She rolled her eyes at me. "I'm not even old enough to get in." I immediately decided that I would help them. I didn't even question it. She was a few years younger than me, not quite 17 yet. She was so tough. When I offered to help she told me they didn't need my big city charity. I talked to her father and learned quickly where she got it from. I did help them, eventually getting her to sit at the bar with me. We didn't drink, just talked until closing. Then she spent the night in my hotel...

When I walked to her door I knocked lightly trying not to startle her. I could hear her inside rummaging around, probably trying to pack her things up. "Sandra, let me talk to you, please. I want you to understand." She wouldn't answer me. I continued to listen to her slamming things around in the room."Let me explain myself, Sand." The noises in the room stopped telling me she was thinking about opening the door. "Will you let me in please so we can talk.?" I waited. I heard footsteps towards the door and felt myself let out a long breath. She opened it but didn't look at me walking back towards her bags, continuing to place her things inside. I took a long look at her. I imagined how it would feel to run my hands down her waist onto her hips pulling her close to me. I took a deep breath in and stepped towards her. "Please stop, just look at me, please." I pleaded. She turned quickly, her eyes red and puffy, she was crying. Without a thought, I reached up wiping a tear away with my thumb. I watched her breathe in deeply, my touch ignited her. She wanted it too. She wanted me to touch her, to take her, to make her mine. Stop it Jo, stay in control I tried to focus on what I needed to say and not what I knew I wanted. She sat down on the edge of the bed looking up at me with those beautiful grey eyes, she wasn't making it easy. I looked down at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her pink lips pouting. I wanted to bite her bottom lip softly while she trembled beneath me. I forced myself to look away but flashes of the first time were still going through my mind.

All I could do is remember looking into those grey eyes. The way she kissed me and her hands touched my skin. The way she smiled at me when I lifted her shirt above her head. The innocence in her voice when I asked her if she was sure when she responded with "Please." The way my heart pounded every time I kissed her. The way I had to remind myself to breathe with every piece of clothing removed. The way her ivory skin felt against my fingertips and lips. How she tasted on my tongue. The way her breath caught when I first slid inside of her. The way I felt knowing that she was mine. In that moment all that mattered to me was her. The beauty of her body was only amplified by the beauty of who she was. The way I felt being inside of her I had never felt before. The way she looked at me as I gave her all of me. The way she moaned my name Into my ear while I gave her all of me "Joseph.".

I reached down and held her chin in my palm, "Oh beautiful woman, you don't understand, I can't feel anything for you. I don't feel things, I don't care. I needed you to get back at that asshole. I didn't know he was a monster to you as he is to the rest. I didn't know I would need to save you. I can't be drawn to you the way I am.`` I leaned down putting my lips on hers. I couldn't resist tasting her again. I kissed her deeply, Moving my hand behind her head and grabbing a fistful of hair. I pulled her mouth into mine with force. I could feel it as she melted in my hand. When I finally got the strength to release her I looked into her eyes, She remembered. She knew. She started to open her mouth, "Jo" I stopped her by putting my finger to her lips and telling her to be quiet. I walked to her door shut it and locked it. When I walked back towards her I could see her breathing heavily, watching her breasts rise and fall, all I could think about was feeling them in my hands. I reached for her hand smiling at her. With no hesitation, she put her hand in mine. I pulled her to me tightly. I started kissing her again, running my hands down her back to her ass, cupping it and pulling her into me so she could feel what she was doing to me. I wanted her to feel how bad I wanted her. She pulled away from my lips looking up at me while we both caught our breath. I could see the wonder in her eyes, the same wonder I felt when I realized it. I smiled at her, running my fingers down her neck. She moaned quietly, closing her eyes. I started to kiss her neck and ran my hand to her breast, squeezing it, feeling her nipple appear under the fabric. I ran my hand to the other one only to quickly feel the same thing. I wanted to take her, I wanted to hear her moan my name. I looked into her eyes searching for acceptance as I ran my hand towards the bottom of her shirt. I started to pull it above her head revealing a lace white bra. I stepped back admiring the view licking my lips and pulling her to me again. She moaned softly when I bit down softly on her collarbone. I pulled her bra down releasing her breast. I grabbed one putting my mouth on it, sucking and nibbling on her nipple, then moving to the other one. She moaned louder. I looked up at her running my hand down to feel the warmth between her legs. I could feel how wet she was getting on the fabric, she looked up at me, placed her hand on my chest and stepped back. "I am still married." She said. I released her and stepped away. More memories flashed through my mind.

I remembered her crying as she told me she couldn't come with me, she couldn't leave her father. That she wanted to finish school. I remembered the pain attached to leaving Ohio, How long it took me to concentrate on my business again. How Mason had told me that women are a liability and that caring for them would make me vulnerable. How he fell in love and it got him killed. She was looking at me strangely. I walked to the door and turned to look back at her, "I want you to stay, it will be useful to get back at the prick, I will be in my office when you are ready to talk." I looked her up and down slowly as she nodded at me. I headed for the door, "Nice to see you again Elizabeth." I said turning back before I walked down the hallway.