Floral Anxiety

*Sandra* 

I left Joseph’s office, Jay trailing behind me. I could tell he was worried about the situation in the office behind him. I turned and looked at him. “You can stay, if you are needed here.” I smiled at him to let him know I was okay with it. He shook his head no. “Sunshine, I have always and will always protect you.” He meant that with his whole heart. I squeezed his huge bicep and looked up at the strong man towering over me. I was so lucky to have all these wonderful brothers around me. Each of them offered something different. My mind exploded when I realized that must be why Joseph chose each of them to join him in the inner circle. I made a mental note to discuss that with him further in the future. When we got to the door, Seven, Sophia, and a few other security details waited for us. “Are you ready, novia?” Sophia said hugging me tightly around the neck. “I am, even if I don't know what you just called me.” She giggled and shook her head. “You are the bride, are you not?” I laughed out loud, realizing what she had said. Suddenly we were both laughing as we walked towards the vehicles. “We will be taking the car, followed by a team in the SUV.” Seven said looking to Jay for approval. Jay nodded, and seven puffed up with pride. He must have been happy knowing that he made the right call. I have noticed the security respect and follow Jay, as they should.  

We got into the now tinted window car. Sophia and I in the back seat and Seven and Jay in the front. The car looked slightly different than before. “What happened to this car?” I asked, looking up at Jay. “After the trouble when we met the Italians, Joseph had some additions added to it.” I looked around the back seat. There were compartments with codes on the low part of the seat. “What are these compartments for? Mini whiskey bottles?” I giggled, thinking that would be perfect for a wedding shopping trip. Jay looked back at me like he was confused. “They are weapons.” He said nonchalantly like it was completely normal to have these compartments in a normal sedan. “Oh.” Sophia laughed out loud at me. “Oh, my, you are precious.” She said patting me on the leg. I really enjoyed Sophia, but her words felt a bit condescending. I chose to let it go. I just wanted to enjoy the rest of this day. Salvage what was left of the joy of making our wedding day as perfect as I could. We rode to the florist first. Jay and Seven got out first telling us to stay put until they told us it was okay to come inside. We had a guard on each side of the car. It felt a bit like overkill and told me how shaken Joseph was by one strange woman knowing his name. He must keep that closer to the vest than even I realized. I watched as two women left in a huff from the front of the small storefront. Were they making other customers leave? I didn't like that and would mention it to Jay.

After a few moments, they came out of the building and walked back to the car. Jay opened my door and reached for my hand to help me out. Seven did the same for Sophia. “I feel like royalty.” Sophia said, blushing slightly. “Jay, did you make those ladies leave?” I asked, quietly as to not get too much attention. “I am under orders. No one is to be in the stores.” I knew he meant from Joseph. “He is worried about that woman.” I said looking into Jays eyes for a response. “We will figure it out sis.” He opened the door to the flower shop, and I walked though. An older woman with her hair all pinned up on top of her head greeted me. “Hello, Sunshine, is it?” She held out her hand to shake mine. I smiled and nodded at her. “I hear you are getting married. What kind of flowers were you looking for?” I looked to Sophia to respond. She started talking fast, naming flowers, and different shades of red. Baby breath, Calla lilies, tulips, carnations, and roses. Scarlet, ruby, crimson, and chili red. I watched as they picked up beautiful flowers and showed them to me. Talked about dying flowers black. Asking me which color of red I liked the most. I felt overwhelmed and hot, so I asked Jay to take me outside. “Are you okay Sunshine?” Sophia said, looking honestly concerned. I smiled and waved my hand at her, “I am, just a little warm, I’ll be right back.” She smiled and nodded turning back to the woman. When we stepped outside the door, Jay told the two security guards standing in front of it to give us some space. “What’s wrong sis?” Jay said walking over to the car and grabbing me a cold water from the trunk. I took a few big drinks before answering him. “I think I am just overwhelmed.” I smiled, “I'll be okay in a moment.”  

I stood there for a few minutes, again taking in some deep breaths to calm my anxiety. I knew I wanted to marry this man, and I couldn’t understand why I kept feeling this way. Couldn’t I just let Sophia make all the decisions, and just show up in a dress? I looked down at the stonework sidewalk. Such a beautiful design. I liked the lilies, the baby's breath, and the roses. I was thinking more of a dark, blood red color. I took a deep breath one last time and walked back into the building. I walked up to the women talking over the bouquet and placed a hand on Sophia’s arm. “I like the cannas, the baby's breath, and the roses. I would like the cannas black, the roses a dark red. Blood red. I also like the carnations, in white. Some greenery, Italian Ruscus, or leather leaf.” Sophia’s eyes got large, but her smile was larger. “That sounds amazing, Sunshine.” She seemed to appreciate my choices, and my directness. It was probably nice to hear me finally make some real decisions. The poor woman has been going over and over things with me now for two days. The older woman was writing the order down as we spoke. When she asked how many flowers I wanted, I looked at Sophia. “Do you want me to handle this part?” She asked, recognizing that I couldn't answer another question. I nodded and she turned, leading the woman to the front of the store. I walked back out with Jay. “Where to next?” I asked.