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*Joseph* 

I laid her on the bed, but she placed her finger to my lips. She shushed me. I couldn't think of a time I had been shushed before. “I want to take your pain away.” She whispered before kissing me. It took my breath away, the feeling of her taking control. “Sandra, I...” I started to speak but she kissed me, deeply. “I want to take your pain away.” She said again after pulling her lips away. I nodded. I didn't know how long I could lay there and let her be in control, but I would try. This will make her feel better. I allowed my inside feelings of guilt and shame vomit out all over her, and she needs to feel like she is helping me. She doesn't realize that her very existence in my life is all the help I need. She wants to feel like she is doing something so I will let her have this. I will try. She tugs at my dress shirt, trying to pull it out of my pants. I reach down to help her and she pulls my hands away. After removing the shirt, she runs her fingernails around my tattoos, outlining the muscles in my chest and stomach.  She bites her bottom lips and her eyes getting large as she unbuckles my belt. She seemed nervous and I am reminded that she has probably never been in control either.  

“You want me to do something with my arms miss?” I said trying not to laugh. She looks up at me and rolls her eyes. Flustered she pulls my arms and places them above my head. Her eye roll makes me want to flip her over and spank her ass, but I refrain. When She starts kissing a trail down my stomach again, I feel the hair rise on the back of my neck. I moan softly when she unzips and pulls the waist of my pants down. When she puts me in her mouth, the warmth of her tongue is almost my undoing. “Oh Sandra, you are a goddess.” I growl as she takes my pain away. I reach down to grab the back of her head and wrap my fingers in her hair and she stops. She reaches up and pushes my arm back behind my head. She scolded me before continuing with the magic she was creating with her mouth. I moaned loudly warning her that I was ready to explode. She didn’t stop. She continued to keep me completely in her control. When I lost myself in ecstasy, I pulled her to me. “You had your fun future wife; it’s my turn now.” I had let her be in control long enough.  

She giggled as I threw her up on the bed so I could see her whole body. “You truly are one of a kind.” I growled as I crawled over her. I put my hand around her throat, not roughly, just enough to show her I was in control now. She smiled at me and I knew she got my signal. I pulled her legs apart and felt that she was very excited about being in control. She was ready for me instantly. I pushed inside of her already firm and ready to devour her completely. I quickened my pace as she closed her eyes and her mouth parted slightly. She panted and moaned as I took her over completely. She came undone, screaming now, her whole-body shaking. “I know you think you are damaging to me Joseph. I know you think that I am in danger because being your wife will make me a target. I know you didn't mean to express those feelings out loud, but I am glad you did. I need you to know that the only thing I feel being with you is free. Happy and free. Like I am finally in a world that makes sense to me, and a love I never thought I would feel again.” She smiled at me and rolled over pushing her perfect ass against me. “Goodnight King.” I pulled her as close to me as I could, “Goodnight future queen.” I laid there fighting emotion from the words she said to me. She wasn't wrong. The only thing I feel about her is raw happy, clear love, and undeniable freedom. I don't know why I can't shake this guilt and shame. Maybe after tomorrow, after we lay Jackson’s ashes to rest in the garden, I will feel better. Once I know he is rightfully spread among the others, I will feel less like a failure. I hope. I will be looking towards the future. A future I can spend with the perfect woman lying beside me.  

She smiled at me walking through the roses. “I am so proud of you, son.” My mother looked over at me. The sun shine on her face gave off a youthful glow. I hadn't seen my mother look that healthy in years. Her addiction took it away before she was ever sick. We walked around that garden like that for some time. She told me that Sandra was my soul mate and I had made a wonderful choice. She told me   A buzzing woke me up from the night stand. I moved slowly so I would not wake up Sandra. The light from the phone burned my eyes. I didn't recognize the phone number where the message had come from.  

*The fire has started Smoke. This time you will feel the burn. -X* 

I took a screenshot and sent it on to Jay and Zeus. 

*I don't need this right now brothers. This woman deserves the best wedding of her life and my undivided attention and support in planning it. Let’s find this person and squash it before it's a problem.*  

I got a message from both brothers. Jay telling me nothing will ruin the wedding planning, and Zeus telling me he would check to make sure there were no Italian members left with that kind of reach. Why is it never enough? When we will get a break? I have never had this much battle torn days since I started this brotherhood. Is this because my enemies see Sandra as a weakness for me? Do they think I will back down now? Do they think she is the key to taking down the king? I threw my phone across the room, absentmindedly. Sandra jumped up out of a deep sleep. I had scared her. “Sorry, Darlin. I was dreaming and threw my phone across the room” I lied to her. I couldn't lay another heavy thing on top of her right now. The woman had been through enough. She sat up and looked at me with a tilted head. She didn't believe me, but she didn't speak up. Maybe she didn't really want to know. “Get some sleep, beautiful. I am going to do a check on the compound, make sure everyone is in bed.” I had to get out of the room, seethe in anger somewhere it wouldn't affect her. I threw on some jogger and a white tee, put my comm in my ear, and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you sweet Sunshine.” I whispered. She mumbled something sleepily, and curled back up under the blankets. Within the time it took for me to slide on my sneakers, she was asleep.

When I got down the stairs, all my men were standing by the office door. Small mumbles and growling tempers coming from the group. Hector even joined the bunch in conversation. “What’s this?” I asked, not sure why they were all here talking without me. “Z and Jay woke us. We were discussing your message. Hector heard us and came down the hall from his master bedroom.” Henry said before letting out a yawn. “Listen, I appreciate the pow wow, but why was I not invited?” I said placing my attention mainly on Zeus. As my number two, he should have sent for me. “We didn’t want to worry Sunshine.” Zeus said shrugging, “I was going to talk to you in the morning, boss.” He seemed relaxed with his answer and I trusted Zeus more than I did most men. I nodded and walked through them in to the office. When everyone got inside the room, I asked Henry to close the door. “Now, what the fuck am I dealing with now?”