Celine

*Jay* 

My whole body felt heavy with the weight of what happened to Jackson. I didn’t save him. I didn't notice that Tommasso was playing us. It is my fault they are laying that man in a garden of flowers tomorrow. Everyone keeps telling me it isn't my fault, but I am trained better than that. I took advantage of the idea that it was over. That we had him and we could put this Italian battle behind us. He caught me off guard and that never happens to me. I watched as Sandra sat with Sophia and planned for her wedding. She was excited and looking at bridal gowns. She had a sparkle I hadn't seen in her before. She shines like the sun, but this was a different type of shimmer. I suppose it would be the magic of being a bride. I wouldn’t know. I have never loved like that before. I have never imagined myself in a situation where marriage was in the cards for me. I have softened some since Sandra came into my life. She has given me so much. She gave me a family. She come to us beaten and broken, and in some way, she has healed all of us. When she came, I was no more than a security guard and somehow, she took that and turned it into a close confidant to Smoke, a friend to Zeus, a brother to them all. A brother to her. I would die for her, and I will be there every day to make sure she has the best wedding. 

I sat there, sipping a whiskey on ice, and watched as the others enjoyed the party. Celebrating Jackson’s life is an important tradition and I am glad to see the brothers doing that. Hearing stories of when he first came, people speak about training they took with him. He was a serious physical trainer. He knew his shit. I learned from him and I have trained for years. I listened to the stories being told and felt a calmness. He was appreciated for his sacrifice, and people here really cared for him. I hope one day they speak this way about me. “Didn’t I tell you to enjoy the party.” Joseph came up behind me smiling and tapped me on the shoulder. His voice sounded more upbeat than usual as well. Sandra marrying him has put joy in his heart, it is obvious from the way he looks at her. While everyone in the room admires him, he is admiring her. “I know boss, I was just comfortable sitting here on the edge of the room.” I said shrugging. I couldn’t let them see how guilty I still felt. 

Joseph sat down in front of me and poured a bourbon neat. “You know that I am the leader of this whole shindig, right? All these men here, they serve me, as Jackson did.” He drank his whole glass down before pouring another. “Yes, sir.” I said confused as to his point. Of course, I knew he was king. “I want you to know, in my eyes, you have no guilt here. I know you think Jackson’s death is your fault. It isn't. Jackson chose to allow Tommasso to take control of him to save her. You were unconscious.” He pointed at Sandra. “He died to save her. He died a hero. Do not feel guilty for what he chose to do or you take away his sacrifice.” He patted my arm before standing up and walking over to Sandra running his hand along her neckline. I watched her breathing speed up just by his touch. The love they share is a beauty to behold. 

When they walked past me to head back to their room, Sandra stopped and kissed my cheek. “Celine is here, I know you have seen her. Go get her big brother. She would be lucky to know you.” She winked at me and followed her king out of the room. My heart warmed at her words, but Celine intimidated me. I had texted with her since the day she came to talk about her brother. She has asked me questions about the brotherhood, and I only answered the ones I was allowed to. She has asked me to go for coffee, but I have been dealing with this Jackson stuff at the safehouse and was unable to leave. I stood up and with the courage Sandra had given me, I walked in her direction. “Removing Comm.” I said so the boss would know to call if he needed me. “Good Luck Brother.” I heard in a few different tones. I looked around and spotted Zeus and Henry smiling at me, watching me walk towards the beautiful woman in my path. When I reached her, I was suddenly tongue tied. “Jay!!” She yelled throwing her arms around me. I tensed. I wasn't used to anyone hugging me like that, other than Sandra. She backed away slowly, “sorry.” She said looking slightly embarrassed. “No, no, it’s okay. I am happy to see you too.” I said placing my hand on her arm. “Are you doing okay with all of this?” she asked, a look of concern crossing her face. “It’s hard losing a brother.” I didn't want to dump my problems. She nodded. 

“Do you wanna dance?” She smiled. Her question terrified me more than any gun or man I have faced. I didn't know how to dance. “I... I... I don't think i know how.” I said quietly. Though, I don't think she could hear me, she understood. She grabbed my hand and led me out to the dance floor. Hector and Sophia stood entangled beside where we stood. Swaying to the music in perfect harmony. Another example of beautiful love. She grabbed my arms and wrapped them around her waist, and placed hers around my neck. “Just move to the music, Jay. Hold me tightly and follow the soft sway of the melody.” I looked down into her eyes and nodded slowly. She laid her head on my chest and I felt my heart start to beat faster. The lyrics of the song telling a love story of which I had never experienced. I closed my eyes and all the weight I was feeling started to disappear. 

After the song was over, we both grabbed drinks and walked outside. We sat at an outside table in the garden and talked for over an hour. She told me about her home life. Where she grew up and how it was for her and her brother. I didn't say much about mine, I mostly just listened. She thanked me for talking her through his place in the brotherhood. She slid her hand on top of mine, “Jay, I would like to see you again. I have to go tonight. The ceremony tomorrow I am told is for the close brotherhood members and their wives. Jackson was very nice to my brother and I wanted to pay my respects.” she sighed, “I do hope you will call.” She stood up and kissed my lips softly before saying goodbye. I didn't move, I sat there and watched as she walked out of the room. I put in my comm and told Seven to see that she got home safely. Could this woman see beneath the armor? Could she see me as a man and not as a soldier? When I went to bed, I heard my phone go off. I picked it up off of the end table and saw her name. 

*Thanks for getting me home safely. You are my hero. XOXO -Celine*