Memories

*Sandra*

I couldn't breathe. That week flashed through my mind in Ohio so long ago. It couldn't be. I heard him call me Elizabeth as he walked out of my sight. Smoke is Joseph. How could I not see that before? How could I have forgotten? He saved my dad's gym. He was the reason he could afford to leave me the money for college. The only other man who I had slept with before Ryan. Does he know who I am? Is that why he wanted me to leave? I faintly heard him telling the other guys to give him a few minutes from down the hall. They excused themselves and I could hear the kitchen door close. I walked out heading straight for his office. "Sandra sit down." He lightly touched my arm and I came back down to earth. "Joseph." I barely got it out. He leaned against the front of the desk. "I didn't realize until last night." He looked down into my eyes searching for something. I couldn't keep looking at him So I looked down at my tennis shoes. "Elizabeth, talk to me?" I took a deep breath and looked back up. "Please don't call me that." He stood up towering in front of me. "I'm sorry I won't call you that if you don't want me to. I need you to tell me what you want to do now." I didn't know what to say to him. It had been so long. I slowly stood up looking into his eyes I was thinking about how he touched me in my room just moments ago. I watched his eyes grow wider. I leaned up and softly pressed my lips to his. He wrapped his hand around the back of my neck and deepened the kiss. I parted my lips to let him in. As the kiss got more passionate I could feel myself becoming more free. I could feel how wet he was making me, how bad I wanted him inside of me. I didn't want to stop him, but I had to. I couldn't be like my mother. Even if I wasn't with Ryan. Even if he was a monster. I couldn't be like her. "I am still married" I pouted more than informed. "Your right let's take care of that" Joseph touched my cheek softly and stood up walking back to his chair. "What do you want to do Sandra?" He looked calmer now. How does he do that? I still couldn't catch my breath. " I don't want to leave ." I finally got out.

Joseph asked me if I wanted to get a quick divorce. I did. I wanted to be free of Ryan. "Do you want me to call you Smoke?" He looked at me for a minute and shook his head yes. He said he would explain things to Zeus and Henry but he didn't want anyone else to know I knew him as anything other than Smoke. He said he just wanted to make sure I was safe. We talked about a lot of things. Suddenly we were talking like old friends. He told me how I had met Mason back then. I remembered him boxing with my dad and getting knocked out fairly quickly. I apologized again for Ryan killing him. Joseph told me he didn't want me to feel guilty for that in the same way that Henry had. He asked about my father. He asked when I decided to leave Ohio. I told him it was right after my father's funeral. I wanted a fresh start. I signed the gym over to my uncle's son as my dad wanted, changed my name, and left for college. That's where I met Ryan. I just kept talking. It was easier now for some reason. I noticed he wasn't saying much about him. "So I see you built your empire," I said smirking at him. I could remember sitting at the bar listening to his dream to run a large all-seeing empire. Like in Star Wars, except he wouldn't be a dark lord, He would be more of a rebel soldier. Helping all of the lower-class people gain wealth. He would use the knowledge of the rich to help the poor. He looked at me and smiled. "Don't tell anyone that I related my brotherhood to Star Wars." We both laughed. Things got quiet for a while. We just kind of sat there existing in the same room. "Why didn't we know? When you kidnapped me all I saw was hatred. Something was there though, deep down, I knew I wasn't in danger. I knew you would make sure I was safe. I just didn't know why and now I do. How could we not know?" I couldn't make sense of it. Joseph looked at me calmly. "I am not sure either. To be honest darling, I don't even know what to do with it now. We are different people now. You aren't an angry 16-year-old and I don't dream of building an empire. When I had planned to grab you, to get back at Ryan, to try and make him confess... You were just a way for me to get my revenge. That changed before the memories came flooding back. I wanted to protect you. When I saw the bruises, when I knew what he was doing to you, I couldn't imagine giving you back to him. When I first saw you I felt something. That's for sure, like a nagging feeling that I should recognize you. At the banquet, and when you passed me in the movie theatre. It was the eyes. But you look different now Sand, Your name has changed and your hair. You're still so beautiful, that never escaped me. I was so worried about hurting him that I was trying not to notice."

I watched as he carefully tried to explain his feelings to me. I was about to respond when someone knocked on the office door reminding me that this was bigger than two old flames catching up. "Come in." Joseph watched as the door opened slowly and chuckled a little to himself. Zeus did not laugh. He had a very serious look of worry on his face. "What Happened?" I asked before I could stop myself. Zeus looked from me to Joseph and back. "We are in this together Zeus." He reminded him. "Ryan just raided the city house." No one said anything. "Smoke, what do we do?" Joseph looked at me and then back to Zeus. "Did he check the broom closet?" Zeus shook his head no. *broom closet, really?* "Call Mr. Coyan, we are heading to the city!" He got up quickly and grabbed my hand as he walked by. He pulled me up out of the chair and spun me in front of him this time putting his hand on my hips and pulling me into him. "Divorce now?" I shook my head yes. He grabbed my hand as we walked to the SUV. On the ride, Joseph was explaining things to the guys. He didn't tell them all the details. He told them that we had realized that we had met before and that I knew his name. He also told them that he trusted me with that. He told them that part of the reason he didn't realize was because it was so long ago and I had changed so much. They looked at him almost amazed at what he was telling them. "Don't ask what her name was, like Henry, she has chosen to leave that person in the past." Then he looked at me. He explained to me that Mr. Coyan was going to bring me a divorce paper. Since I had gotten all I wanted from Ryan it would be rather easy. I didn't know how it could be easy. "He won't sign it" I said bluntly. "You don't know the power that Jo holds over people yet." Zeus was very sure of his boss. "Jo huh," I said sarcastically. They all laughed.

It was nice to be out of that house, but I couldn't help feeling nervous about what was about to happen. I think Joseph noticed when he looked over at me. He reached his hand over on top of mine and reassured me that everything would be okay. I leaned back and stared out of the window. I watched the trees and tried to believe him. When we pulled up to the office buildings Mr. Coyan was standing out front. Jay got out and opened the door for him. " Hello, Smoke." He said as he entered the SUV. They all exchanged pleasantries as he opened up his briefcase. He started going over the divorce papers with me. He told me that if we could convince Ryan to sign it will save me from a court appearance. I didn't care what it said as long as I would be free of him. I signed each line that he told me to. Joseph picked up the paper and read over it. "Always read first Sandra." He scolded me. I smiled at him. He shook his head and continued to read. "This part," he said pointing at the paper, " says that he cannot contact you for any reason." I felt another chain break that was holding me. I thanked Mr. Coyan and got out of the SUV back at the country house. Only Jay got out with me. I looked back confused. " We have to take Mr. Coyan to Ryan while he is at the station to convince him to sign," Zeus said noticing my confusion. "I want to go." Joseph shook his head no instantly. I walked around Jay and opened the door. I climbed back into the SUV. "Sandra I said no." I flinched at his reaction. "Smoke, I want to do this. I have wanted to do this for years. He won't stop coming for me." I looked into his eyes. He didn't relax but told Jay to get back into the vehicle. I explained to them that I didn't want him to see Joseph or the other two. I would walk in with Mr. Coyan, Jay, and the other guards. I would be safe and so would they. " We are in this together," I repeated back to them. All of them, including Mr. Coyan, looked to Joseph to see what he would say. He ran his hand through his hair and shook his head yes.