21 Questions

*Sandra*

He was looking at me like he was nervous to say something. Was this the first time something he was going to say made him feel uneasy? He asked me to lock the office door and turn off my comm. Now I was getting Nervous to hear what he had to say. "Is something wrong Jo?" I asked softly almost not able to get the words to leave my mouth. He smiled at me shaking his head no. "Some things I have been thinking about since Luca shot me, that's all." He said reaching for me to come to him. I walked over to him and he grabbed my hand. He tried to pull me down onto his lap. "No boss. I will hurt you." I said pouting. He growled and told me to sit, so I did. I made sure not to put pressure on his torso because I was still afraid to hurt him. "I haven't been very responsible with you Sandra. I hurt you when I got shot. I lied to you and made you sit there alone with a guard you don't know. I know you hated me for that. I hated myself. I am so sorry I did that to you." He reached his hand up to my cheek and ran his thumb across my cheek. "I understand why Joseph," I said smiling at him. "Don't dismiss this Sandra. I know you were furious with me. When I was lying there after I got shot; I realized how stupid I was. I just wanted to apologize to you and I didn't know if I would be able to." He looked at me earnestly. I nodded at him and smiled. I was angry with him but the minute I saw he was hurt the anger melted away and I was filled with fear. Fear of losing him. Something I never want to feel again. "Do you forgive me?" he said simply. I smiled, "I forgave you even before you almost died on me. I love you, Joseph. Anger doesn't change that. Bad decisions and horrible plans don't change that. I was more worried than mad midway through. I just wanted you to be okay. I wanted to be with you to make sure you were all okay. You are my family now. Not just you, but Zeus, Jay, and Henry." I said feeling tears swell up in my eyes. It felt like a release from the last few days. "I know baby, and I am sorry." Joseph pulled me to his chest and let me cry.

When I was finally calmed down some, he looked down at me smiling. "What?" I sounded like I was burning with raw emotions, and If I am honest with myself, I was. "I just love you so much. I never want to live in this world without you Sandra." He said smiling. "I love you too boss." I tried to stand up feeling like I was hurting him sitting there, and his grip tightened on me. I felt my breath catch, and my heart speed up. "I have more questions, darling." He said softly. "Okay, I just don't want to cause you any more pain," I said looking down at my feet. "You could never hurt me, baby." He always made me feel better. After a pause, he started to speak again. "When we first reconnected, I was instantly drawn to you. Sexually and emotionally. At that point in my life, only months ago, I didn't think I had emotion anymore." He paused and ran his hand down my cheek, "My Sunshine you have changed all of us in so many ways, that I can see, in such a short time." I suddenly got afraid he was going to ask me to marry him. I would marry him in a heartbeat, but after his sudden brush with death didn't seem like the right time for that. I reached my hand up to his lips, "I love you and I would like to spend my life with you. I don't think I am ready for such a commitment right now, and I don't want you to ask me because of all of this." I ran my hand down to his bandages. He chuckled a little before responding to me, "Oh darling, I wasn't going to ask you to marry me. I know I have the emotional range of a potato, but I have more style than that. If I were to ask something like that, I wouldn't do it in the office of this house." He looked around him slightly irritated with his surroundings. "Oh. I am so sorry!" I almost yelled at him instead of using my inside voice. He laughed this time before groaning a bit due to his pain. "I was going to tell you that I wanted to have children." His answer shocked and confused me. I hadn't thought about having kids in so long. Ryan made me get an IUD that lasts 10 years. He didn't want children. He didn't want my children. He told me I would be a horrible mother since I never really had one. I looked up at Joseph and smiled. "I can have children." He smiled back. I thought maybe he was trying to ask me that. I had never mentioned that he needed to use protection in the bedroom because I still have the IUD and it is good for another 7 or so years.

It got awkwardly quiet in the office. He was staring at me like I was supposed to say something. "I have an IUD. Do you know what that is boss?" He looked at me like I was speaking a different language which made me giggle. "It's a form of birth control. It lasts for up to 10 years. They place in up in.." He put his hands on his ears and I let out a roar of laughter. "I don't need to know the medical details baby, but can I ask you why?" I looked up at him feeling my hands start shaking instantly. He must have noticed too, because he took them both into his hands. "Never mind, I know why, and I want to have it removed as soon as you are ready." My heart started pounding, and I wrapped my arms around him tightly. I couldn't stop myself. I didn't even think of the pain I might cause him. He yelled out and I jumped up instantly feeling guilty for my actions. "No, No, darling, it's okay. I just wasn't ready for that. Try again." He reached out to me and pulled me in tightly. I squeezed him, and he squeezed me just as tightly. I whispered "Thank you" in his ear and heard him breathe deeply. He brought me quickly to his lips and pushed me against his desk. I opened my eyes to see the fire burning in his pupils. He wanted me and I wanted to let him take me. "Are you sure?" I asked him quietly as he kissed my neck and collarbone. "I am always sure my beautiful queen." He grabbed my waist and stood me up to remove my pants and underwear. When he placed me on the desk he had already released himself. Sometimes he moves so quickly that I believe he is magical. I am honestly not sure he isn't. I leaned back some, arching my back, and lining up for him. All at once, he was completely inside of me. The deeper he went the more I wanted to scream out. The intense pleasure, but not only that, the immense emotion I was feeling was overwhelming. At some point, I started crying and moaning at the same time. "Quiet my goddess." He said as he crashed into me wiping my tears away. I was tingling and shaking with complete joy filling me up. "I missed being inside of you so much darling. I couldn't wait any longer. You are my heroin, my Xanax, my pain medicine. You are the one thing that makes me feel better." He growled into my ear as he moved. I came completely undone.

"I am almost certain everyone outside just heard me," I said to him as we both got dressed. He laughed and groaned louder than before, telling me he had made himself hurt worse. "Now you are hurting boss." He looked up at me smirking before saying, "Worth it" looking me up and down. I started to giggle before asking if there was anything else he wanted to talk about. He shook his head no and I walked to unlock the office door. When we placed the comms back in we were both startled to hear Zeus cursing and yelling at someone. Joseph jumped up and told me to "stay" before walking towards the door. He paused turning around and reaching for my hand. "Just stay behind me." I walked up and grabbed his hand. When we got to the hall the yelling got louder as we walked closer to the scene. He was yelling at Five, the guard who was in charge of protecting Tanya. "What the fuck is going on out here?" Joseph said as he walked closer. Realizing it was a safe space he let go of my hand. I walked behind him, but eventually made it to my place beside him. "He kissed her. He fucking kissed her. She told me he was making sure she was okay while I was at the hospital with you, and he leaned down and kissed her." My eyes shot back to Tanya who was crying. "You did what?" The voice coming from Joseph wasn't one I ever wanted to be on the receiving end of. So different from the one I had heard just moments ago. "I am sorry sir, It was a lapse of judgment. I won't go near her anymore." He said talking faster with each word. He was scared. I stepped forward to get in front of Zeus. "What did she say when you kissed her Five?" I asked softly to try and de-escalate the situation. He looked at me nervously and then looked at Tanya. " I told him I was flattered but was already spoken for." She spoke up from behind me. Five looked down at the floor. I spun around to Tanya, slightly irritated with her. Something made him think this was warranted and now he may lose his whole livelihood.

When Jay approached I knew Five was in for it. "What did he do when you told him that?" I asked knowing I sounded sarcastic. She tilted her head some confused by my attitude. "He apologized profusely." She said, this time more snippy. I rolled my eyes and turned back to Joseph, who was now focused on me. "I think we should move him to take care of Takara and assign her a new guard," I said trying to save his job at the least. Zeus was also watching me. I knew at the moment I was going to have an uncomfortable conversation later. "You heard the queen." I was surprised Jay wasn't more angry. He might have seen more than I did in the situation. "Z take the lady back to your room, we will speak later about all this. The rest of you, get back to whatever the fuck you are supposed to be doing." he sounded so tough. Damn, that's sexy. When everyone was gone from the commotion, Jay looked at Joseph with distress all over his face. "Smoke, We need to talk."