Chapter 13

Tank
The song ends and the stage goes dark except for one light that Lug Nut stands under. “ We are going to take a short break but make sure you stick around for our second set.” he says and hops off the stage. When he is in front of Prez he asks “ What do you think?” “ Lug you and that other guy were good, but damn. She was. I don’t have the words.” Merigold says. “ How did we not realize how hot she is?” Trina asks. “ Trina, that's my niece. I don’t want to hear about her hot body.” Ace says. Axel says “ The girl has got some serious talent.” Prez has been quiet through all this. “ How long?” Prez asks. “ I knew she could sing for about four months. She has been performing for three months.” Lug answers. “ And the other days?” Lug says “ Rehearsals.” So that has been going on all this time she has been disappearing with him. Prez nods “ I want to talk to her.” Before Lug can answer there is a commotion on the floor. I look up and see Lilly on Goof’s back in the middle of the crowd. She now has on a white robe to cover her up. Good. I don’t want any of these fuckers looking at her. She has the guy she played guitar with on the left side of her and the guy she sang with on her right and the guy that was playing the drums behind her. “ Conner is on her left, Neil on her right and Rick behind her.” Lug tells us. He looks at Prez “ She has at least two band members with her at all times. Plus me or a prospect.” “ I still want to talk to her. Bring her here.” Prez says. Lug looks at Lilly as the group makes their way to the bar then back to Prez looking nervous. He rubs his hand over his face. “ Problem Lug Nut?” Prez asks. “ She doesn’t know you are here. I didn’t tell her.” Prez looks over at Lilly sitting at the bar drinking a bottle of water. She is smiling, laughing and completely relaxed. We have never seen her this way around the club. She is always on there because of how some of us treat her, me included. But here she is treated like the priceless jewel she is. She has no clue we are watching her. Prez smiles and nods “ Bring her to the club house in the morning. I’ll talk to her then.” Lug Nut sighs in relief “ I’ll have her ready.”

I stick around to watch some more. Lug and Lilly do a duet together. I’m the last person who would admit this but they look good together and I hate every second of it. It is an intimate song and they slow dancing very close together. The way they are acting it would be easy to believe they were a couple. Are they seeing each? They have been spending time together at the club. And I guess now at rehearsals and on stage. I’m sure they have gotten close. Has he touched her? Kissed her? Why does thinking of him kissing her hurt my chest. Why do I feel like I want to beat the shit out of him? I don’t want Lilly. That is why I have stayed away. So it can’t be jealousy? Can it?


Lilly
Lug Nut brings me to the club house the next morning. I’m confused as to why. I always have a lazy day after a show. I’m not on duty today. I asked Lug and all he said was that we needed to meet with Prez. I wonder if he has an update on who is following me? When we get to the club I notice a lot more bikes and a few cars that are normally here at this hour. And if that weren’t odd enough, just before we got to the gates of the compound I got the feeling that I was being watched again. I have this feeling in the pit of my stomach that today is going to be a bad day. I don’t know why but I feel like something bad is going to happen. “ Lug I have a bad feeling about this.” Lug stops “ Lilly, you have my word. Nothing is going to happen.”

When we get to the door the feeling of dread increases. I can’t shake it. Lug lets me in and I walk half way before my eyes adjust to the darkness. I wish they hadn’t. It looks like the whole club is here including Merigold, Trina and Anne. And none of them look happy to see me. What the hell is going on? Why is Tank here? He isn’t allowed to be close to me or so I thought. I place my hands on my stomach when my nerves get the best of me and I feel the urge to throw up. I can feel the bile in the back of my throat. Lug urges me forward until I’m standing in front of Prez who has a scowl on his face. I have seen that look before but it has never been directed at me. And I don’t like it. My uneasiness gets ramped up big time.

“ Is there something you want to tell us Lilly?” Prez asks. I’m confused and answer “ No.” “ Nothing at all. Anything about what you have been doing the past few months?” I have know idea what he is talking about. With my guards he knows my every move except rehearsals and my shows. I shake my head “ No, sir.” I stammer out. He leans down and looks me in the eye and says, “ I know you're lying, Lilly.” He went back to join the rest of the club. What! I have never lied to him. “ Cut the crap, Lilly. We know.” Ace growls. Know what? I’m not hiding anything. But before I can answer or defend myself Thor says “ We all know Lilly. Or should I say Songbird.” I gasp and take a step back. I look at Lug and his eyes say everything. He told them.

As if I needed more confirmation Axel says “ Yes, Songbird. We all saw you.” So not only did Lug rat me out he showed them one of my shows. I look at Lug and I feel like I can’t breathe. Why would he do this to me? What have I done so wrong? “ Why, Lug?” I whisper. “ They deserved to know,” he says. Deserved to know. I didn’t want them to know for this reason. I can see the looks on their faces that they aren’t happy about this. Merigold’s disappointed voice rings out “ How could you not tell us? We trusted you.”

I look around the room as best as I can because I’m fighting back tears that are blurring my vision. The only one who seems happy with all of this is Tank. He has a smirk on his face. He knows he just won. He gets me out of the club like he has always wanted. My entire life for the past year is gone. The family I have been a part of. The security. The jobs. The safe place to live. All because I took something for myself. I did something I knew the club probably wouldn’t approve of. Lug can get away with it, yes, he is a patched member. Me, I’m nothing. Truth of it is I was selfish. I wanted something for myself and it came with a great cost. After everything they have done for me I do this behind their back.

“ Nothing to say for yourself. Not going to even explain why you did it?” Prez asks. There is nothing to say. They know everything. I can’t hide or talk my way out of this. Prez shakes his head in what looks like a cross between betrayal and disgust. “ I have to say I’m disappointed in you, Lilly.”

I know what is coming next so I decided I’m going out with my head held high. I’m not going to give anyone the satisfaction to see me crumble. I gather my voice “ Thank you for everything. I’ll get out of your hair. I’ll have my things within the hour.” I turned to Lug Nut and handed him some of the money I earned “ This should help cover the security. Good-bye Lug.” then leave before the tears fall. I hear Viper shout “ Come back here, Lilly. I’m not done with you.” I don’t care. I’m done. I should have known this wasn’t going to last. Nothing in my life ever does. If I have something good it gets taken from me. My parents. The music teacher back in high school, that had high hopes for my singing ability. And now the club I was able to make a home in, for a short time at least. It is all gone. I know in time I’ll be ok. I always am but for now it feels like the world is crumbling around me. It hurts almost as much as the night I lost my parents.