Chapter 42

Lilly


After everyone finished congratulating us it was time to introduce Harley. And it went well. Jace and Jax really loved playing with him. We had to explain how Harley was a working dog and there are only certain times that he can be played with. We made it easy for Jace and Jax. We told them as long as he didn’t have his harness and vest he was free to play. And if they were unsure all they had to do was ask. Merigold described the interaction with Harley and Kassidy and Kadence. She said they even got it on video. Merigold said she sat on the floor with the girls in her lap. Harley belly crawled over to the girls then laid his head in their lap. The girls squealed with excitement and grabbed at him. He licked their little fingers making them giggle.

When Merigold pulled the girls off Harley they were climbing all over him. But Harley just let them do it. Merigold said Kassidy tried to stand but fell backwards but before she could hit the floor Harley moved so she would fall on him. So not only do I have a protector, the kids do as well. Merigold said it is the cutest thing ever.

Tank made sure the club knew what Harley had done to protect me. So now they are joking around about having a dog as an honorary member and getting Harley a kutte. Things like watching Harley with the kids or seeing him wear a kutte makes me miss my vision. But if I had my vision I wouldn’t need Harley. Yes, there are several things I miss. Things I wish I could see. I don’t think that will ever go away. Things like my goddaughters' smiles. Or Jace and Jax. Or Tank’s handsome face. Or Merigold’s drawings. Or not seeing the kutte Tank is getting me. Or even flowers. I think it is normal to miss things like that. It is to be expected since I lost my vision so suddenly. But when I think if I would have hit my head harder or hit my spine I could have lost my life. So even though I miss things it is a small price to pay.

I’m still with my family and friends. I still have my music. I believe I have a good life. I’m happy. So even though I can’t see, I still have a full life ahead of me. Now if we could just figure out who is after me and why. That’s what bugs me the most. I haven’t ever done anything to anyone that I can think of. So why would someone want to hurt me? Thankful Tank and Viper told me they have a few leads. One that Goof is checking out tonight. So it is putting my mind at ease at least for now. Then there is the fact that I have a concert in a week that part of me isn’t ready for. And the other part says ‘ Hell, yes. We have got this.’ I still feel like there is more work I need to do. Practice a few more songs. Get the dance steps down. Make sure the playlists are all set. Neil says I’m a perfectionist. I say I want the show to be perfect. I still have another fitting with Anna. She says I have lost weight and the costume needs to be taken in again.

And if that wasn’t enough I have surgery the day after my concert. To say I have a full plate is a gross understatement. But I have got this. I know I do because I’m not alone through all of this. I have Tank, the club and the band. I know they have my back if I need them. Or a shoulder to help hold me up. I’m so lost in my thoughts I jump and yelp when someone touches my shoulder. “ Easy sweetheart. You were spacing out. Everything ok?” Tanks asked. I smiled at him, “ Yes, just lost in thought.” “ Anything you want to talk about? Are you having second thoughts?” I shake my head.

“ No second thoughts. I promise. And there is nothing I need to talk about. I was just thinking back to how I got here. With you by my side. I thought it would be too much for me to handle. That it would break me down. But instead with the club and the bands help I feel stronger than ever. “ It is because you are stronger, Lilly. My brothers would probably make me a laughing stock if they heard me say this but are the strongest person I have ever met. I am so proud of you.” Tank said, pulling me into his arms. I welcomed his surrounding warmth. “ Tank, honey, I do have one question.” “ Ask me anything you want,” he said. “ Since I’m fixing to be your ol’e lady, does that mean I can kiss you anytime I want?” Tank laughed. A full on laugh that he never does and I love it. “ Lilly, you aren’t fixing to be my ol’e lady. You already are even without the kutte. The kutte just tells everyone else. And yes you can kiss me anytime you want as often as you want.”