Chapter Thirty Nine
Raleigh
"I bet Boston is going nuts,” I mutter, accidentally saying the words aloud.
"Boston?" she asks, her head whipping up at the mention of his name. I watch as a range of emotions cross her face, realizing that I may have just screwed up. But, when she finally says, "He's been patient, understanding, just like everyone else,” I know that I’m in the clear.
"He seems like a great guy," I tell her, picking at a piece of invisible lint on the comforter.
"I guess," she says, shrugging, "I wouldn't really know."
"Oh, right. No memory." I say only half joking.
"Sorry that this is so awkward..." She says with another shrug after a few moments of silence.
"It's fine, really," I tell her, my mind stuck on how confusing everything must be to her right now. "It would be kind of cool to get a chance to start over with getting to know people, especially if you didn't have a very good start with someone."
"I mean, I guess," she doesn’t sound very sure in her answer though, and maybe if I were in her shoes, I probably wouldn’t be either. There are too many unknowns, and I don’t really know what or how much she’s being told about her life here in Hawthorne, or the family that she’s now a part of. "I just feel like I'm going to let everyone down." She says with a sigh, startling me from my own thoughts.
It takes a minute for what she said to register, but when the words finally do, I aim a confused look at her as I ask, "Why would you think that?"
"Well, everyone already has these memories of me and with me, leading to everyone having this set of expectations..."
"And you're afraid that you're not going to measure up," I finish for her, able to read between the lines pretty easily.
Nodding, she brings her knees up and wraps her arms around them, threading her fingers together as she leans her head against her knees and says, "I know it's stupid. No one has given me any reason to feel that way, I just do."
"So, there's absolutely nothing?" I ask, turning to face her more. Bringing my right foot up to the bed, I mirror her by wrapping one of my arms around my leg and resting my chin against my own knee. "No random images that don't make sense or dreams, nothing?"
She just shakes her head no but then with a quirk of her brow, she pins me with a look as she asks, "Did I have a boyfriend?"
Not expecting the question, and now realizing that she really hasn’t been told anything, not even by Boston himself, I laugh a little, and then grimace as I say "Umm...that's not really my story to tell...I'm sorry."
She nods in understanding, then says, "I understand." Then, with a smile, she sits up straighter and asks, "What can you tell me about Lincoln?"
I can’t help the smile that comes to my face as I think about him and how even though it’s only been a little over a month since we started dating, it seems like it’s been much longer than that.
"We've only been dating for just over a month, had just started dating shortly before your accident. But, he is amazing, and damn, the things he does to me…” As soon as the words leave my mouth, I realize that they may be a bit TMI for one of her stepbrothers. "I'm sorry, is that weird? I mean, he's your brother."
She lets out a little chuckle, her eyes crinkling at the sides, “They're not really my brothers, though now are they?" She asks, and the joking tone makes me laugh right along with her.
"Hey, girls," Boston says, wrapping his knuckles on the door while sticking his head in, "dinner's ready." He glances from Aspen to me and then back to Aspen and the longing look in his eyes makes my heart break for him, the both of them really.
"We'll be right down," Aspen says, her brows furrowed as she takes him in.
"Bye, Boston," I say, deciding to put her out of her misery and give her a clue as to which brother that was.
She looks over at me but her face fills with concern as soon as she takes me in. "What is it? What’s wrong?"
"It's nothing," I murmur, unable to meet her eyes as I try to figure out the right thing to say. "I just—," I start, wanting desperately to tell her the truth, but then change my mind, knowing that it isn’t my place, and settle on saying, "I hope you get your memories back soon."
"Me too," she says, her voice almost wistful. "Well," She continues, sounding much more upbeat than she had a moment before, "are you ready to go down and eat?"
"Absolutely, your mom said she was making lasagna and I am starving," I say just as my stomach starts growling at the mention of one of my favorite pasta dishes.
"You don't have to tell me twice," Aspen grins over at me as she gets up from the bed and rushes for the door. Turning back to me as she opens the door, her tone filled with excitement as she says, "I can't remember the last time I had lasagna."
I can’t help the laugh that bursts out of me at the remark, and Aspen laughs right along with me. As we make it to the dining room, we’ve still not managed to get our laughter under control.
"At least you can find humor out of your current situation," I finally manage, unable to keep the grin off of my face as I take a seat next to Lincoln.
"I'm trying," she says as she takes the open seat next to Boston, glancing over at him.
"Looks great, Ashlynn," Jackson says, scooping a large scoop onto his plate.
"Thank you, Jackson. It's one of Aspen's favorites," Ashlynn says, pasting on a sad smile as she glances over at Aspen and then at the rest of the faces at the table.
"I remember," Aspen says, smiling over at her mom.
"Y—you do?" Ashlyn asks, her face brightening up, "do you remember anything else?"
"Maybe...I'm not sure," Aspen says, glancing over at Boston. "We were close...right?"
He swallows thickly before nodding his head yes.
"How close, exactly?"
"Maybe this isn't a conversation for the table..." Collin says before Boston or anyone else can answer my question.
"Why not?" Ashlynn asks, her gaze roaming from Collin, to Aspen, over to Boston who looks like he might vomit, then back to Aspen again. "What do you remember?"
"How close were we Boston?" Aspen asks, turning her attention to him. Then, as if to prepare herself for whatever comes next, she takes a deep breath and says, "Where we really close? Or did it just seem that way because you forced yourself onto me?"
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