Chapter Nine

Stepping into the hospital, the smell of bleach hits me as soon as the automatic doors slide open, causing a barrage of memories to assault me. Immediately, my steps falter as tears fill my eyes. The last time I had been within the walls of a hospital was because of the accident.
*The sound of beeping pulls me from the black abyss that I had been stuck in. My head is throbbing, and as I try to pry my eyes open, a sharp stabbing pain shoots throughout my skull. I quickly pinch my eyes closed and bite back a scream at how excruciating the pain within my skull is. Instead of screaming, I release a sob as tears trail down my cheeks.*
*"Raleigh?" A deep voice asks, "Raleigh? Can you hear me?"*
*I try to force my eyes open once more. This time, I manage to get them open, squinting against the brightness of the overhead lights.*
*"Oh, thank Christ you're awake," my brother Rowan says as he runs his hands over my face, shoulders, and arms, stopping at my hands as he clasps ahold of them gently.*
*A flash of screeching tires hit me, followed by memories of a semi-truck blowing into our SUV from the driver's side as Dad turned into the intersection.*
*"Mom and Dad!" I shout. Or, at least I try to shout the words, but instead, they come out scratchy and barely audible. Swallowing past the feeling of cotton in my mouth, I try to speak once more, "Are Mom and Dad okay?"*
*"Raleigh..." His voice breaks off and tears fill his eyes. He doesn't even have to say the words. The devastation on his face tells me all that I need to know but I don't believe it.*
*I can't believe it.*
*"No," I whisper the single word as I shake my head back in forth, clearly in denial."*
*How could I have survived and my parents didn't?*
*How is this possible?*
*How is this fair?*
*I still need them. Ryler and Rkyer still need them. And even though Rowan is eighteen, he still needs them.*
*Then, a thought occurs to me,* if Mom and Dad are gone, who's going to take care of us?
I'm jolted forward as someone shoves past me, the action pulling me from those painful memories of the past and back to the present. I close my eyes, trying to calm myself and shake off the sense of loss that the memory left behind.
*One*, I say the word silently to myself as I take a deep breath in.
*Two*, this time, I exhale the breath, releasing all of the tension within my body and everything else that was brought on by the memory, along with it.
*Three*, opening my eyes, I take one final breath, and take a step in the direction of the elevators and one step closer to the man, along with his family, that I know is waiting for me on the third floor.
As I ride the elevator to the third floor, I think about Lincoln and the things that he makes me feel. I've been lost, throwing myself into school and cheer, since the accident, feeling as though I've just been existing but not actually living. But since the night of the bonfire, the night that I first met Lincoln, I've felt differently. I've woken up each morning with a smile on my face and a skip in my step, so to speak.
It's insane to think that this change is all because of a guy, but nothing else makes sense. Lincoln, and then meeting his family, is the only new thing that has entered into my life, outside of Serenity, in almost five years.
With Rowan putting his college life on hold to raise me and the twins, he threw himself into trying to be the best parent that an eighteen-year-old boy could be to two sixteen-year-olds and a thirteen-year-old who had all had their world turned upside down.
I guess we've all handled our parents' loss differently. Rowan, although trying to be a parent, also tried to let us be kids. He didn't ban us from spending time with friends, having fun, and going to parties. But, he as well as the twins, became extremely overprotective of me. If a boy at school even looked in my direction with a look that could have been construed as attraction, lust, or anything of the sort, they made it known that I was completely off-limits.
Then there's me. I threw myself into extracurriculars and academics, making sure that I didn't drop below a 4.0 GPA because I knew that if I wanted to go to college, which I do, it would have to be on a scholarship, since the life insurance money that our parents had ended up going towards keeping a roof over our heads, legal fees so that Rowan could get custody of the three of us, and my hospital bills. I threw myself into cheer because I thought that it would make me happy, and make me feel as though my life had a purpose. At least, until I move on to college and figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life, and then *that* would be my purpose. But, cheer didn't give me that sense of purpose that I had been looking for, not really anyway. I mean, it helped to fill my time, helped me to escape the loneliness that had become my life.
The twins threw themselves into sports-baseball, basketball, football, and track. They did it all. When they weren't on the field, track, or court, they were out getting drunk, high, or screwing anything that had breasts and was willing to spread their legs for them.
We owe Rowan so much, more than we would ever be able to repay him.
As the elevator dings that it's reached my floor, I close my eyes and blow out one more deep breath and prepare to meet my boyfriend and see someone who I could see myself being friends with one day, in a hospital bed, and pray that I can keep it together long enough to get back out of here without having a meltdown.
As soon as I step out into the hallway, he's the first thing that I see. Butterflies take flight within my stomach and I can't contain the smile that comes to my face at the mere sight of him. As I step towards him, I breathe out his name, "Lincoln."
"Hey," he says with a grin. Opening his arms in invitation, I don't waste any time before I throw myself at him, becoming engulfed in his masculine scent and the feelings of rightness that just being near him provides.
"How is she?" I ask as I lean back to look him in the eyes as he speaks.
"She's okay. Said that she has a killer headache and she will have to stay overnight for observation and further testing. But, she should get to go home tomorrow as long as everything checks out."
Grasping ahold of my hand, he brings it to his lips and places a chaste kiss against the knuckles. "Come on," He murmurs, "I'm sure she'd love to see a new face."
The remark seems strange, not making any sense. He must read the confusion on my face because he's quick to explain. "It's just been the four of us boys, our parents, and the hospital staff that she's seen all day. Seeing your face would, I'm sure, be very much welcomed."
"Gotcha," I say with a nod, even though it still seems kind of strange, I just laugh it off.
As he reaches out to open the door to Aspens' room, my anxiety over entering the hospital room hits me full force. I take a deep breath and try counting, but it doesn't do anything to quell the sense of foreboding that's causing my pulse to race.
Needing a distraction, I turn around and wrap my arms around his neck and bring him closer to my level to where we're face to face. Then, I crush my mouth to his, reveling in the feel of his lips against mine. I pull away quickly, even though it's the very last thing that I want to do, but I also don't want to make a scene by getting all hot and heavy in the hallway just outside of his sister's hospital room. So instead, I smile up at him and say, "I missed you."
"I missed you, too," he replies while running his hand up and down my arm, making goosebumps erupt along my skin in its wake as Lincoln begins playing with my fingers. As he looks back at me, taking me in, his eyes darken, which sends desire straight to my core. I'm doing my best to suppress a moan when he licks his lips and utters, "I'd like some alone time with you later, if that's okay," leaving no doubt in my mind of what *he* has on his mind.
Biting the corner of my bottom lip, the desire stirring within me almost makes me say, *screw it,* and drag him out of the hospital right now, but instead, I tell him, "I'd like that, too."
He closes the distance between us once more, and takes my bottom lip between his teeth, gently nibbling on it. "I thought I told you that is *my* bottom lip to bite," he says, whispering the words without pulling back. "Come on," it takes a moment for the words to register, and by the time they do, he's already reaching out and grasping the handle that leads to Aspens' room, taking any chance of chickening out and begging him to leave with the twist of the handle.