Chapter Twenty-Five
Jackson
I can tell that she’s torn.
It’s a feeling that I’m all too familiar with. For the last four years, I’ve lived my life in black and white.
Even at work.
*Yes or no.*
*Right or wrong.*
*Good or bad.*
I didn’t allow room for gray. The gray areas are where I get into trouble.
Raleigh and that relationship was a gray area. One that I never should have entered into. I see that now. And I tried so hard to keep things black and white in the beginning. When I’d first been just her bodyguard, pretending to be Linc for her sake. I knew that she was his girl, not mine, regardless of the part I was playing. However, being that close to her all the time, showing her affection, and getting it back in return, it was a slippery slope from the very beginning.
One that I eventually, inevitably, fell down.
But I never crossed the line, never acted on my feelings until the night that Linc invited me over to join them.
After that, I couldn’t hold back how I was feeling anymore. One taste and I was a fucking goner. After they dres the line and asked me to leave, I spiraled for weeks.
I was like an addict going through withdrawal.
I needed her.
And one day, in a moment of weakness, I gave in and went to their place. I was thrilled when Raleigh answered the door, still in her revealing nightgown, her hair still a mess, and her eyes sleepy from just waking up.
“Jackson?” She’d questioned, blinking up at me in confusion. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to see you,” I’d explained, reaching for her as I stepped over the threshold and into the house.
Cupping her face in my hands, I’d crowded her against the wall, “I needed to see you,” I’d repeated, staring into her green orbs. “I miss you so fucking much.”
Raleigh shook her head back and forth as tears formed in her eyes, but not a word left her; only the sounds of our breathing surrounded us.
“I don’t know what I did to make you push me away, but if you would just tell me, give me another chance, I’ll fix it. I’ll be better. I’ll be anything you want or need me to be,” I’d begged, metaphorically down on my knees.
“Jackson,” my name left her on a sob as the tears that she’d been holding back flooded her emerald eyes before slipping down her cheeks.
Not liking the sight of her crying, her tears gutting me, I pulled her into my arms, her entire body stiff as I repeatedly murmured, “I’m so fucking sorry.” Then, once more, I asked, “How can I fix this? I need you, Baby.”
It was then that she’d slipped from my arms and crumpled into a crying heap on the floor.
“Raleigh, Baby…” I’d called, desperation lacing my voice as I knelt down in front of her, fixing to ask her what I needed to do to fix things between us once more, but she just completely lost it, melting down.
“What the fuck?” I heard my brother shout from behind me, before turning scathing eyes on me and snarling, “What did you do?” as he shoved me out of the way to reach her.
With my hands in my hair, tugging at the strands as panic begins to fill me, I scramble for what to say, “I-I, I didn’t—I just—fuck!” Taking a deep breath, I tried again, “I just wanted to fix it,” I’d plead, desperate. “I don’t understand what I did.”
“It isn’t fucking about you!” Linc exploded, spittle flying from his mouth and hitting me in the face as he’d rounded on me. “You selfish son of a bitch. We went over this. I explained everything.” With a seething look, he shook his head, and much quieter, he said, “You said you understood.”
“I just…” at a loss for words, I shrugged my shoulders, before murmuring, “I just don’t understand. What do you have that I don’t? I love her too. I protected her, kept her safe.”
“Get out.” The whispered words hit me like a punch to the gut. She lifted her head, her entire being broken as she looked at me, through me.
“But Raleigh, please…” I’d tried, panicked.
“I said get the fuck out of my house!” Her voice was low, but the venom in her words had been unmistakable. “Get out and don’t fucking come back here again unless you’re invited.”
So I’d left.
I buried myself in work and never turned back.
Never made allowances.
Never ventured into another gray area again.
Not until Brooklyn came back into my life and suddenly, I found myself immersed in gray.
My carefully constructed life, not quite so carefully done, all of a sudden. It was like she ripped apart all the parts that I had been hiding behind and forced me back out in the open again, refusing to let me hide.
And I don’t think she even knew she was doing it.
“I don’t want to force you into making a decision that you aren’t ready for,” I tell her, unable to tear my eyes from hers. Then I ask, “But will you at least think about it?”
I’m not ready for her to go, but I don’t want to influence her decision either.
“Yeah,” she finally says. A giant yawn escapes her as she mutters, “I’ll think about it.”
“You’re exhausted. Will you stay the night instead of driving back to wherever you’re staying?”
She gives me a confused look, her brows nearly touching as she scrunches them. “Are you telling me that you don’t know where I’m staying, Mr. Detective?”
“Actually, yeah. I have no clue,” I admit sheepishly.
“Then…” she pauses, then asks, “Why did you come to Chas’s, if not to look for me?”
“I—I came to see if she knew where you were.” Then my eyes widen as it hits me, “Are you telling me that we’ve been one floor away from one another all this time?”
She giggles and licks her lips while nodding.
Throwing my head back against the couch, I curse, “Fuck me. Really?”
A smile pulls her lips up, lighting up her face as she leans forward, our lips almost touching as she utters, “Really.”
“That’s it,” I growl as I slip an arm beneath her legs, then the other behind her back, a surprised shriek leaving her as I get to my feet.
“Jackson,” she giggles as she half-heartedly struggles in my arms. “What are you doing?”
“I’m teaching you a lesson,” I husk, my cock already impossibly hard against my zipper. “Going to paint that ass red until your pussy is dripping for me,” I threaten. “Then, I’m going to fuck you until you beg me to stop.”
The little minx surprises the hell out of me when her lips graze my ear, and with her voice low and seductive, she asks, “Is that a promise?” before using her tongue and teeth to tease the lobe of my ear, before moving to my neck and latching onto the sensitive skin there.”
“Now you’ve really done it,” I threaten as I have a seat on the bed before placing her face down over my knees, my cock begging to be released.
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