Chapter Eighty Nine

Lincoln

Ignoring the confused looks of my brothers, I rush down the stairs and out the front door, looking both left and right before I spot Jax about a half a block down the road from me.
“Jax, wait!” I shout as I take off at a sprint, trying to catch up with him. Giving me a break, he stops as he waits for me, and when I reach him, I have a feeling that whatever is going through his mind, I’m not going to like but we’re going to have it out nonetheless. “What the hell man? What’s going on?”
“What’s goin on?” He asks with a humorless laugh, shaking his head as though he can’t believe I’m asking such a question. “What’s going on is that *I* spend more time with your girl than what *you* do. What’s going on is that you need to figure your shit out. You need to decide what the hell it is that you want because you’re hurting her every day that you stay away.”
Bringing my hands to my head, I fist my hair, pulling at the strands as I begin pacing, trying to get my thoughts straight before finally landing on, “I’m trying…”
“That’s not good enough,” Jax growls, pinning me with a glare.
“Where is this coming from? Are you catching feelings for her? Is that what this is about?” I ask, hurt and confusion warring within me at the thought.
*No, this can’t be happening he wouldn’t do this to me,* I can’t help but think but I also know that if he does have feelings for her, that I have no one to blame but myself.
“So what if I am? Huh?” Jax all but spits the question at me, as if he blames me for what he’s feeling. Then asks, “What are you going to do about it?”
“What does she want?” I hear myself ask before I even realise that I’ve asked the question.
Jax huffs a laugh, wiping a hand down his face as he shakes his head back and forth.
“You know I asked her the same question and you know what she told me?” I don’t think he actually expects an answer. So, instead, I wait silently for him to continue. “She told me that she doesn’t want to be in limbo anymore. That she doesn’t want to be confused and cry all the time. That she doesnt want to want you so desperately but be terrified that you dont want her. And then…” he trails off for a moment then looks at me, pinning me with a look before he continues, “She’s afraid that she’s starting to feel things for *me* that she shouldn’t be because I’m playing the part of *you* and lines have become blurred, and she’s become confused in her feelings.”
I stagger back a step, unable to believe what I just heard.
“So, like I said, you need to figure your shit out and decide what the hell it is that you want!” Jax growls once more before taking off down the road once more, not bothering to look back to see what kind of affect his words have had on me.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I pull up Doctor Rutherford's contact and hit dial, it rings twice before someone answers. “Dr. Rutherford’s office. How can I help you?”
“Umm…Hey, it’s Lincoln Jones. Does the doctor have any availability this evening? I know it’s short notice.” I quickly add on, knowing that my chances are slim but needing to try.
“Umm…let me check his schedule real quick. Give me just a moment. Do you mind if I place you on hold?” The receptionist asks, her voice kind but professional.
“Yeah, sure. Thanks.”
She places me on hold and some calming music begins playing through the phones speaker as I wait for her to get back on the phone. I pace as I wait, pinching the bridge of my nose, thoughts of losing Raleigh to my brother running through my head, knowing that this is all my fault.
“Lincoln?” The receptionist asks, picking the line back up.
“Yeah, I’m here,” I say, my voice coming out more choked up than I’d like to admit.
“Could you be here by 5:30pm?” I glance at my watch and see that It’s 4:22pm now.
“Yeah. I can make it.” I tell her as I turn around and head back toward the house.
“Alright. We will see you shortly.” She says, then hangs up.
When I make it back to the house, I step inside and grab the keys off the hook, send Dad a text letting him know that I’m going for an emergency session and that I won’t be home for dinner and then jump in the truck and head for the city.

After my appointment with Rutherford, I’m feeling a lot better and more confident in my decisions. He helped me to see that I had to take the time that I’ve taken and what both Raleigh and Jax is feeling, considering their circumstances, is completely understandable. 
But, I need to make things right.
It’s dark by the time that I pull into the driveway, the front porch lights greeting me as I get out of the truck and shut the door behind me. When I get to the door, I take a moment before knocking on the hardwood, then take a step back and wait.
I can hear the sound of feet coming down the stairs moments before the door is pulled open and I’m standing face to face with the most beautiful girl in the whole world.
My heart is beating so hard against my chest, that it feels as if it might actually beat out of my chest.
“Lincoln?” Raleigh asks, sounding wholly unsure as she takes me in. Starting at the top of her head and making my way down, I take her in too, finding her standing before me in a tiny pair in light purple pajama shorts and a matching tank top, her pert nipples showing through the thin material.
“Yeah, baby. It’s me,” I murmur as I take a step towards her, burying one hand in her hair and cup her cheek with the other, as I lower my lips to hers, claiming her mouth with a kiss that I have been desperate for since the moment she climbed out of the car a month ago.
Raleigh circles her arms around my neck, as I trail my hands down her back until I reach her thighs. Grasping them, I pick her up and she wraps her legs around my waist. At the contact she releases a moan, rocking her hips against me while at the same time, I release a groan of my own, her softness fitting against me so perfectly.
Breaking the kiss, I trail my lips along her jaw until I get to her ear, then whisper, “As badly as I want to bury myself deep inside of you, Babygirl, we should talk first.”
“No,” Raleigh whimpers, rocking her hips again, desperately seeking friction. “Fuck first. Talk second. I need you…want to cum.”
As if to prove her point, Raleigh begins laving her tongue up and down my neck before latching onto the spot that she knows is so fucking sensitive to me.
Biting back a groan, her body feeling so fucking good against mine, my cock as hard as granite, I slip a finger past the shorts, only to find her bare pussy dripping wet and ready for me.
“Fuck,” I growl, then find Raleigh’s lips once more, shoving my tongue into her mouth at the same time that I shove my fingers into her soaking wet pussy, pulling a throaty moan from my girl.
Tightening my grip on her, I step through the doorway, use my hip to close the door and as quickly as I’m able, I rush up the stairs, playing with her pussy the entire time. As soon as we get to her room, I manage to shut that door too and then gently place her on the bed.
Staring down at her, desire coursing through me, I have to talk myself out of doing more than just taking care of her needs.
Closing the distance between us, I place one knee on the bed and lean over her, kissing down her neck, nibbling on her collarbone before lowering to her cloth covered tits. I tease her right nipple with my teeth, then close my mouth over it, sucking hard as I slip my hand beneath the fabric to cut and play with the other, her lower body writhing and grinding against my own.
Moving over to the other breast, I give it the same attention as I place my thumbs in the fabric at her hips and pull the soaked fabric from her body and drop it to the floor. 
Then, grasping hold of the bottom of the sleep shirt, I lift it up over her head and let it fall next to the shorts.
Standing back up, I look down at her, taking her in from head to toe.
“Fucking beautiful,” I growl before crawling over her and capturing her lips once more. Slowly, I make my way down her body, cherishing every inch of it with my hands, lips and tongue. When I get to her slightly rounded belly, I place a kiss against where our babies rest and murmur, “I’m sorry that I’ve not been here. But you will never be without me again…as long as your Mommy will allow it.”
Continuing in my descent, I make my way down her body only when I get to her pussy instead of giving it the attention that she’s desperate for, I just place a kiss against the soaking wet seam and move to her left thigh, licking and kissing the skin there before moving further down. I tease, taste and nip all the way down to her toes and back up both legs, her frustration evident by the time I get back to her pussy again and I can tell she expects me to continue teasing her, so when I spear her with my tongue, her entire body convulses, the answering gasping moan going straight to my cock when she cries out, “Fuck!”
Replacing my tongue with my fingers, using my thumb to toy with her clit, I growl, “Are you horny, baby?”
“So fucking horny,” Raleigh cries as she begins undulating her hips, seeking more friction. “I want your cock so bad, Baby. Please!”
“I’m going to make you cum. And I’ll give you my cock but we’re going to talk before you get it.” I tell her, as I rock my cock against her seeking hand, letting her feel just how badly I want her. “Don’t think I don’t want you, Babygirl, cause definitely fucking I do.”
Then, not waiting a moment more, I drop to my knees, pull her to the end of the bed and latch onto her clit as I stroke my fingers in and out of her dripping pussy, pulling cries out of her that have my cock leaking inside of my jeans.