Chapter Sixty Five

Lincoln

We’re in the middle of a game, laughing and carrying on. At least, everyone else is.
But me? My head is fucked.
I must put up a hell of a good front because even my brothers don’t seem to realize how badly I’m struggling. Or maybe it’s just because it’s been overshadowed by Bos’s miserable ass these past months but it’s getting harder and harder to fake it.
Especially seeing that he’s gotten his girl back.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for him, I really am but I’m also jealous as fuck because I’d do just about anything to have Raleigh wrapped up in my arms like he has Aspen wrapped in his earlier.
It’s not even about having her in my bed again, although I’m not gonna lie and say I don’t want her, I am a man and I love her tight little body and how good it felt when she took all of me, but I just miss her.
My phone pings, pulling me from my thoughts. Reaching out, I grab it from beneath the lid of one of the pizza boxes scattered across the coffee table and I almost can’t believe what I’m reading when I open up Rowens text.

**Rowen: We’ve got her. She’s in the hospital. There was a fire but she’s okay.**

I hear Aspen ask me something but it doesn’t register as another text comes in and I begin reading it.

**Rowen: There’s something else you should know too. I know she should be the one to tell you this man, but she’s pregnant. He fucking raped her.**

"Holy fucking shit!" I murmur under my breath, unsure of what to think or even feel at the moment.
"Linc, you okay man?" Bos asks, sounding concerned.
I shake my head *no* unable to tear my eyes from the screen. He sends me a picture of Raleigh laying in a hospital bed. She’s pale, her blonde hair a mess and there are dark circles under her blue eyes. There’s a bandage on her left arm that angers the fuck out of me that she got hurt under that son of a bitch’s watch. But it’s the smile that she’s beaming at the camera that makes my heart skip a beat.
*Thats my girl,* I think as tears pull at the back of my eyes, making them ache. *No matter what,* I vow to both her and myself right then and there.
"What's going on?" Bos asks, at the same time that Aspen stands up and comes over to me, squeezing into the chair next to me, practically sitting in mylap.
"Hey, what is it?" She asks, brushing her fingers through my hair.
Feeling shaky, I close my eyes for a moment and take a deep breath. When I feel like I’m steady enough, I release it, open my eyes and say, "It's Raleigh..." Shaking my head, still in disbelief, my voice sounding weak even to my own ears when I finally breath out the words that I’d longed to say for a month and a half now. "Th-they found her.”
When Aspen cocks her head at me, looking wholly confused, I realize that she’s not aware of what’s happened and I don’t have it in me right now to get her up to speed.
“There’s more isn’t there?” Dal asks, his knowing eyes missing nothing.
“Yeah,” I say with a nod and then hand him my phone unable to say the words out loud.
“Fuck!” Jax growls. Standing up, he runs his hands through his hair and begins pacing. “He’s a dead man!”
“Let the cops handle it!” Dal says, with a shake of his head. “They’re already building a case against him. They can do a DNA test to prove the baby is his and then he’s sunk.” He explains, always the voice of reason.
I don’t say anything, I can’t. My entire world just came back together and imploded in the span of two text messages.
*I know I said she’d still mine no matter what, but what if the baby isn’t mine…what if* she *doesn’t want* me *anymore?* my mind spins with all the *what if’s* and I just don’t know if I can do this…
It’s been a total of about five minutes before Aspen comes running back into the den, Bos not far behind her. With tears in her eyes, she barges up to me, wraps her arms around me and pulls me into a hug that I hadn’t even realized that I’d needed until that very moment.
"What happened?" I hear Bos ask but I keep my eyes closed, not bothering with what they have to say. I don’t need to see it or hear it, I’m fucking living it.
"Raleigh's pregnant..." theres an uncomfortable silence following Dal’s declaration, as if everyone is absorbing this new information.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Aspen asks softly, but how in the hell am I supposed to answer?
"Fuck!" I groan, pushing away from Aspen, desperately needing space.
As Jackson had done earlier, I begin to pace. I feel like a tiger, ready to strike out at any moment. The feel of all of their eyes on me only angers me more, making me yearn for some seldom wanted solitude.
"You know that it's okay to be scared. It's actually completely normal." Aspen murmurs as she closes the distance between us once more, stopping in front of me.
I know it’s her way of letting me know that she’s here for me but right now it’s not wanted.
"Scared?" I say with a humorless laugh, "I'm fucking terrified."
"We're here for you bro." Bos says, stepping around the couch and coming to a stop next to both me and Aspen. He places a hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze, and it takes everything in me to not shrug it off. "You were there for me, now it's my turn to be there for you."
With a sigh, I cover my face with my hands and mutter, "I am so fucked!"
Jax clears his throat and then says the absolute worst thing he could say to me right now. "Are you even sure that it's yours?"
"What the fuck?" I snap, anger coursing through me. I know it’s a logical question. Hell, those same damn words are currently haunting me because how had I not just thought them myself a few moments ago? Not that I blame her, not after what that mother fucker did to her.
He fucking raped her.
But she’s *my* girl. If it’s anyone’s, it should be my baby.
"Of course, the baby is mine!" I say, but even as I say it the doubt creeps back in again. *Only, is it really possible? We used protection and I highly doubt that that fucker did. Who’s odds are higher…*
"Lincoln, of course, that baby is yours," Aspen says softly, agreeing with me. "Right?"
"How would you know?" Jackson asks, his voice carrying an edge to it that gets my hackles up. "You certainly haven't been around."
"I'm sorry. I needed time for myself, to grieve.” Aspen snaps, but after a moment she takes a deep breath and then continues much more calmly. “But I realize now that even though I still spoke with Boston, I was a horrible sister, a horrible friend. To all of you."
I know that is a discussion that needs to be had but I *really* don’t have the headspace to have it right now.
Squeezing the hand still in mine, I say, "It's okay. You had to do what you needed to do for you. I understand. You're back now, that's what matters." As I say that last part, I raise my voice, making sure that both Dal and Jax hear as well.
Dal seems to accept her apology but Jax isn’t going to give in so easily. He’s pissed at how much she hurt Bos but also how after everything we all did for her, how she just cut us all from her life as if we meant nothing.
I get both of their sides and it’s something he’s going to have to work out and get over in his own time.
Instead of a response, Jax does the mature thing and just shakes his head, throws himself back against his chair, and crosses his arms, his anger towards her and her carelessness written clearly for her and all to see all over his face.
Next to me, Aspen clears her throat and then brings the conversation back around to the previous subject. One that I don’t currently want to be discussing If I’m being honest. "Why wouldn't the baby be yours?"
I consider ignoring the question, or just leaving and having Bos fill her in but that would make it seem like I’m mad at her just like Jax is, and since I’m not, I don’t. But I do give myself a moment.
Steepling my hands against my face, I heave a heavy sigh, feeling like the weight of the world is currently sitting on my shoulders."We think she was taken by a guy named Brady Stevens,” I begin, my voice low but even. “He's obsessed with her and thinks that he has some kind of claim to her because her father owed a debt and Brady's dad paid it off. When Raleigh's dad couldn't pay Brady's dad back, they made a contract basically selling Raleigh to Brady as payment. But, the contract became null and void upon their death but Brady and his parents don't want to honor it."
"What the fuck?" Aspen whispers, her eyes widened in shock as she peers back and forth between Bos and I, looking to her boyfriend for confirmation that I’ve not made it out to be more than it is.
"It's true," Boston agrees with a nod.
I watch as she shakes her head back and forth, now unable to look at either of us. I hear her mutter the words, “That's awful," more to herself than to the rest of us. After a few moments, she turns her attention back to me and asks, "So, you think that this Brady person, that the baby could be his?"
"I don't want it to be true, but it's always a possibility. She was with him for nearly a month and a half..."
"He's forced himself on her before," Boston says, interrupting me before I can say anything more. "I wouldn't put it past him to force himself on her again."
I look at him confused for a minute before remembering that I hadnt gotten to tell him that it was confirmed that she’d been raped by Brady.
"You have to talk to her, you know that, right?" Aspen says, turning my attention back to me. "If you care about her at all, you two need to talk to each other, you need to figure out exactly what happened and you need to work this out."
With a sigh, I nod, knowing that she’s right. Trying to force back how much all of this is really affecting me, I reach out and pull her into my arms, hoping she doesn’t notice the slight shaking of my body. Squeezing her tighter, I lean down until my mouth is resting against the top of her head and whisper, "Thank you."
Pulling away, desperate for some time alone, some time to think, I make to step away but before I can, Aspen reaches out, her hand clasping mine. She gives it a squeeze and says, "We're here if you need us. Just *talk* to her and try to stay calm, her emotions are likely all over the place right now. But she's going to need you just as much as you will need her."
Pulling my hand from hers, I nod and head out of the den and toward the front door. Grabbing the keys off of the hook, I step outside with only one destination in mind.