Chapter Thirty Eight

Boston



"Baby?" I murmur to myself as the doctor turns back towards the Emergency Room doors.

*What the hell? I thought she was on the pill?*

"Baby?" Ashlynn says, sobbing into dad's shoulder, "my baby can't be having a baby."

"Shh!" Dad murmurs, trying to comfort her, but clearly at a loss on what to do. "She's going to need our support now more than ever."

*She's not the only one,* I think as I turn away from them, making my way outside of the Emergency Room doors, needing a minute to get my head on straight before I fucking ruin everything by freaking out.

*A baby was not a part of the plan.*

*At least, not right now, while we're still seniors in freaking High School for Christ's sake!*

*We're too young to have a baby.*

I walk until I'm in a secluded little spot at the side of the building, leaning against the white concrete, I slide down until my ass hits the soft grass and bury my head in my hands, *She said she was on the damn pill.*

"Boston," Jax says, sitting down beside me to my right, Linc sinks down to sit on my left, and Dallas kneels in front of me.

"Did you know?" Linc asks, picking at pieces of grass in front of him.

"No," I tell him, shaking my head back and forth, "I didn't have a clue."

"You guys did use protection though, right?" Jax asks, sounding like there is no other option than to suit up. And, I guess there shouldn't have been any other option, but that was never the case with us.

"She said she was on the pill." I mutter, my eyes filling with tears.

*I don't even know what to think or how to feel right now.*

*I want to be mad, because this should have never happened.*

*Elated, because she's having* my *fucking baby.*

*Scared shitless, because a baby is HUGE.*

And, to make the shitstorm in my head even worse, I'm not even able to wrap my head around the fact that I'm having a baby, because instead I'm consumed with fear and guilt over the the fact that girl that I am wholly and undeniably in love, is once again lying unconscious in the hospital and this time, it's *my* fault.

"They're going to want to know if we know who the dad is." Dal says, looking up from the ground to me. I glance from Dal to my left, taking in Linc, and then to my right to take in Jax. What I find on the faces is a mixture of what I was expecting, but also not what I was expecting.

I can see that they are clearly disappointed, but I can also see that they are going to support me through this season of my life, me and Aspen’s life, as the road ahead of us is not going to be an easy one.

Sighing, I lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes, *If we thought there was a chance of walking away from each other if things didn't work out, we just tied the next eighteen plus years of our lives to one another.*

*I should be mad at both of us for not being more responsible. But honestly, I can't bring myself to regret creating a life with the woman that I love. I just wish it had happened later in our life. I wish that we had been together longer. I wish that we had gotten our parents blessing. I wish that we have our life sorted out and were prepared for everything that having a baby entails.*

*But life doesn't work according to our plans, does it?*

"I don't even know what to say. This is something that Aspen and I should be telling them together." I say, voicing some of the thoughts whirling around in my head more than answering Linc's unasked question.

"Where are Dad and Ashlynn?" I ask after several long moments of silence, realizing that it must look suspicious that I ran out and then the boys came after me.

"Right after the doctor left, a nurse came and took them to see Aspen." Dal says, falling to his ass, kicking his legs out in front of him, he leans back against his hands, basking it what is left of the sun as it slowly descends into the horizon. I nod that I heard him, but don't answer. I wish more than anything that it could be me that was in there with her, but I know that as long as she's in the ICU, she can only have two visitors at a time. And that should be her mom and my dad.

"I don't think they even realized that you had left." Jax says, answering my thoughts without them being voiced.

"What the fuck am I going to do?" I say, wiping my hands down my face, feeling at a loss and not even having Aspen here to try to figure out what the best way to go about this is.* I should keep quiet for the time being, right? Aspen wasn't ready to say anything yet, just in case the talk with our parents went south. I should honor her wishes.*

"Do you love her?" Dal asks, breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Isn't it obvious?" Linc asks, chuckling, "I've never seen him so damn pussywhipped before."

"I am not pussywhipped asshole!" I growl, my fist raised to hit him. Throwing a punch from my current position is incredibly awkward, but I still manage to hit my target.

"Ow! That fucking hurt!" Linc wines, holding his jaw and working it back and forth.

"Oh, it's not broken you big baby." I smack him in the back of the head this time, causing him to glare at me. Letting out another sigh, I turn my attention back to Dal, "Yes, I love her." I say, then look around at my three brothers around me. My best friends.

"Okay. Then what do we need to do, Bos?" Dal says, surprising me that he's willing to do whatever, especially after everything went to shit the last time they had my back on something pertaining to Aspen.

"Fuck!" I growl, beyond frustrated. My eyes hurt from holding back tears and my head is fucking throbbing from all of the stress. "I don't fucking know! Why does this have to be so fucking hard?" I say, voicing the rhetorical question before continuing on.

I need to let out some of what has got my head spinning, and so I open my mouth and do just that, "I love her, and I can't tell our parents anything without talking to her first. We'd discussed it and she wanted to wait, knowing that there was a possibility that it could ruin things for either us or our parents...but now that there is a baby involved, it changes everything once again." I stand up and begin pacing, needing to move, "And I fucking need to be in that room with her. I need to know that she's okay, that our baby is okay. And, fuck do I feel so Goddamn guilty. She wouldn't even be in there, laying in a hospital bed once again, if it wasn't for me not being able to control myself around her. Had we not been going to the truck, Whitney wouldn't have run her mouth, spouting a bunch of bullshit, no less. And, Aspen wouldn't have gotten so upset and run off like she did."

"I know this is hard for you, and we are here for you. I know that the days, weeks, months, and even years ahead aren't going to be easy for the two of you. But hey, that little baby will have three of the best uncles that it could ever wish for." Linc says, after finally dropping his hand from his jaw.

"And that baby will also have a daddy that loves it's mommy so damn much that there's no way that you won't love and cherish it just the same, if not more so because it will be you *own* flesh and blood." Dal says, getting all heartfelt, to the point that he causes the tears that I had been barely holding at bay to fall.

"Fuck you!" I say, as more tears begin to fall. And before I know it, all three of my brothers have their arms wrapped around me, giving me the love and support that I need so damn much at the moment. They are the best brothers that I could ever ask for, I can only hope that I can live up to their expectations of being a father and the man that Aspen deserves.