Chapter Seventy Two
We hop into the car and she shifts into reverse before reaching to turn on the stereo. The familiar beat of one of my favorite songs begins to come through the speakers but I reach out and turn it off.
Putting the car back in park, Serenity heaves a sigh and lowers her head, murmuring, “I’m sorry…”
“My brother?” I ask, my voice coming out calm and quiet.
When she turned towards me, her eyes held so much sadness as she said, “We didn’t mean for it to happen, I swear.” Then with a shrug of her shoulders she says, “…it just kind of did.”
I watch her for a moment, trying to read her. It’s not that I don’t trust her, if there were anyone that I would want for one of my brothers, it would be Serenity. She doesn’t mess around with a lot of guys. I mean, yeah, she loves getting attention from guys but she’s not easy and I know this.
She had one serious relationship for most of high school that ended badly at the beginning of last year. Otherwise, she’s been single and not really paid much of anyone attention. There was one guy at the beginning of this year that I know she had a thing for, and although she wouldn’t tell me who it was, she swore that he’d never reciprocate her feelings.
*Could she have been talking about Ryker then?* I can’t help but wonder. The more I think about it, the more I can’t shake the feeling that I’m right and she’s had a thing for him this whole time and I just never picked up on it.
Needing to know, I blurt, “It was him, wasn’t it?”
“What? When?” She says with a look of confusion taking over her face.
“At the beginning of school you had a thing for a guy but you wouldn’t tell me who it was, which I always thought was strange because you *always* told me. But you said that you didn’t think that he would ever end up sharing your feelings.” As I’m talking, I watch as she lowers her gaze once more and begins biting her bottom lip, much like I do when I’m nervous about something.
“Oh,” she murmurs once I’m done still not meeting my gaze. She sniffles and nods her head that I’m right. “You don’t think that I’m good enough for him, do you?” Her voice is quiet but I can hear the insecurity and the tears that she’s holding back in it.
“What? Ser!” I shout, closing the distance between us and lifting her face and holding it in my hand so that she has no choice but to look at me. “Out of all the woman that could be with my brother, there’s no one I’d rather him be with than you. And if I’m honest, I’m more worried about him hurting you.”
“He doesn’t have the best track record, does he?” she mutters with a grimace.
“Not really,” I murmur, witha shake of my head. “But it’s more than just his track record with girls. It’s the drugs, alcohol, the partying…” I trail off, not wanting to make her feel anymore insecure than I already have but these are things that she needs to think about and have a serious talk with my brother about if she hasn’t already.
“He swears he’s given that life up,” she says with another shrug.
“Do you believe him?”
She’s looking at me, but I can tell that she’s thinking. “I do. If he was going to fall back into those habits I would have seen it while you had been missing. But, he through himself into finding you with Lincoln and your brothers. We all leaned on one another. He never went out. He never came home drunk or strung out. I truly believe he has given it up,” she says this with a nod of conviction and her face brightening with the realization.
“Then, I assume this thing between you two happened while I was gone? It wasn’t something that you were hiding from me before, right?”
“Oh my God! Ray, no!” She both physicall and visibly withdrew from my at my words and it kind felt good knowing that she wouldn’t keep something like this from me but also I hated making her think that I would doubt her like that. “I would never hide something like that from you, I swear!”
I nod, showing that I believe her but instead of dropping it, she grasps ahold of my hand and begins to explain. “While you were gone, we were both so fucking lost, Ray. I’ve never felt so alone and I’ve never seen you’re brother so broken.” She hesitated, pinching her lips together as though she was debating whether she should say something or not, before she murmured, “He said that your disappearance was like losing your parents all over again. One night he had a bottle of whiskey and a baggie of coke and he was going to do it, I could see it in his eyes when I walked into his room to check on him. I went to comfort him, that’s all it was supposed to be, I swear but instead of finding solace in the bottom of a bottle or in the little baggie, we found it in one another.”
“The next morning when I woke up next to him, I was afraid that he was going to throw me away just like he would an empty bottle. I went to get out of the bed, not wanting to feel like that but then I felt his hand grasp my arm and heard him whisper, “please stay.” I crawled back in bed and he wrapped me in his arms and just held me. We were both awake but neither of us spoke a word for a long time. Finally, unable to take it anylonger, I broke the silence by asking what we were doing. Being the idiot that your brother can be sometimes, he said, “I’m holding you.” I told him that what happened between us was a mistake. That you were my best friend and no matter how much I liked him, I couldn’t do a no strings attached kind of thing with him. That I would never hurt you like that. He surprised the hell out of me when he cupped my cheek and said “who said I didn’t want any strings?” before kissing me.”
I don’t realize I’m crying until Serenity reaches out and wipes the tears from my cheeks and then pulls me into a hug.
I’m still sniffling, more tears building in my eyes when we pull apart and Ser says, “Are we okay?”
As I smile, a few more tears slip past my eyes and begin making their way down my cheeks. With a nod I say, “Yeah, were good.”
Her signature smile beams from her face as she puts the car back in reverse and says, “Oh than God, because we are *late*!”
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