Chapter Eighty Six
Raleigh
Tears burn the back of my eyes as Lincoln moves inside of me. It feels so good, and I can feel my pleasure growing as his pace increases.
“Fuck, you feel so damn good, Baby girl. I missed you so much.” Lincoln growls the words, his voice low and gutteral, his hard and fast thrusts emphasizing each word as it leave his mouth. “I missed. This. Pussy.”
I gasp and bury my face in the crook of his neck just as my nails dig into the muscles of his upper back. I meet him thrust for thrust, my orgasm growing closer as tears track down my cheeks, as reality hits me and resolve over what I must do settles over me.
“I love you so much, Baby.” Lincoln whispers as he turns his head, placing a gentle kiss against the top of my had before rearing back and impaling me with his cock over and over again, hitting that perfect place inside of me until I’m crying out his name, and unable to hold back a gutteral sob as it falls from my throat, just as he stills, releasing inside of me.
“Raleigh?” Lincoln pulls back immediately, his face stricken with fear and panic as he takes in my tear-streaked face and red eyes. “Baby, talk to me. What’s wrong? Was it too soon? Did I hurt you? Did I read everything wrong? Do you not…” he doesn’t finish his sentence but he doesn’t have to. I read it written all over his face. He has my cheeks cupped in his big hands, and is trying to keep his voice gentle but I can see the panic that is grupping him.
*He is terrified that I don’t love him anymore.*
Another tear falls from my right eye and begins trailing down my cheek, before his thumb catches it and wipes it away.
Tears begin to fill Lincoln’s eyes, building until two slip over, making matching trails down his scruff-covered cheeks.
“Please tell me that I’m not too late,” he whispers, his eyes shimmering with the remaining gathered tears.
Shifting positions so that we’re both sitting up and facing one another, I bury one hand in the short hairs at the back of his head and cup his cheek with the other, pulling his face to mine for a heartbreaking kiss that I hope expresses everything that I’m feeling.
When I pull back with my eyes still closed, I pull my lower lip into my mouth and take a moment to just savor the taste of him on my tongue.
With a sigh, I open my eyesand begin baring my soul.
“For so long, I felt alone after the loss of my parents. I tried to fill the voice to no avail. That is, until I met you. I know that things between us have been…insane…to say the least and we’ve been put through some major shit that no couple should have to go thorugh. All of the stress and hurt that we’ve endured can make it near impossible for a relationship to survive.” I take a moment to make sure that he’s still with me and when he give my hand a squeeze and nods his head, I continue.
“Then, we find out that we have not one, but two babies on the way and, everything all together would be a lot for anyone. Nevermind two high school Seniors with plans for college already mapped out.” I give his hand a squeeze and makesure he’s looking at me when I say this next part.
“I understand why you did what you did. The pressure and overwhelm and sense of losing control,” I shake my head and try to blink back the tears that begin to flood my eyes. “And I don’t think any less of you because of what you did. It hurt, yes, and it scared me but it didn’t change my opinion of you or how I feel about you.”
“And h—” he starts, his voice choked up. Clearing his throat, he tries again. “How do you feel…about me?”
“Lincoln, I love you.” Grasping hold of both of his hands, I bring them to my mouth and place a kiss against the knuckles of both hands before lowering them back to my lap and continuing. “I love you so much, that I only want what is best for you. And if that means letting you go so that you can pursue your dreams or because the thought of having kids right now, having twins at eighteen, is too much for you and your mental health, then as much as it will hurt, then I will.”
Lincoln looks completely broken as I try to lay everything out but I’m trying to not be selfish and consider his *needs* over my *wants*.
“But, I *love* you…” his whispers, his bottom lip trembling.
Closing the distance once more, I place a chaste kiss against his lips before pulling away.
“I know,” I tell him with a nod of my head. “I’m not questioning whether or not you love me.” Unable to stop it, a tear slips free, trailing down my cheek before plummeting to its death. “I don’t want an answer right now. Take time to think about if me and the babies are the best thing for your mental health. Babies are a lot of stress. Talk it over with your therapist, let her or him help you come to the right decision for you, not for me or for them.” I say, releasing one of his hands to place my own against my belly.
I take a moment to get dressed, suddenly feeling awkward having had this conversation while naked. As I dress, Lincoln tucks himself back into his jeans and averts his attention away from me, instead staring straight ahead with his hands once more white knuckling the steering wheel.
Once I’m dressed, I close the distance between us once more and grasp hold of his chin, turning his broken gaze to meet mine. Seeing this, my resolve momentarily wavers but I know that I’m doing the right thing.
“I’m not saying goodbye, that I don’t want to be with you or that I don’t love you, okay?” He nods his head but doesn’t say anything. My throat tightens, tears filling my eyes and this time, I don’t try to hold them back. “I love you enough to put what is best for you first. If what happened the other day showed me anything, it’s that I don’t wantthere to be a world where you aren’t in it. So, please, do this, if not for you then will you do it for me?” My voice and the thin hold that I’d had on my emotions breaks at the end of my rant and unable to sit beside him, seeing him like that any longer, I rush from the car.
I run across the parking lot only to be met by a pair of strong arms as they pull me into a now familiar chest.
“What happened?” Jacksons deep voice rasps as he pulls me tighter into his embrace.
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