Chapter Eighty
Lincoln
I’m lying here on the hard bed, staring up at the white ceiling thinking about how I’ve not even been here a full 24 hours yet and I’m about to go absolutely insane.
I always thought that when they showed clips in movies of psych wards where there were people that were screaming and crying at all hours of the night, that they were blowing it out of proportion, but I can one hundred percent account to the accuracy of them because I didn’t get a wink of sleep last night.
Every time I would start to doze off, someone would scream bloody fucking murder and I’d end up waking up in a total panic that something was wrong. Of course, it didn't take long before I realized where I was at and why the sounds of screaming was waking me up.
One of those times *I* was the screamer. I’d finally managed to get a bit of sleep and the events that landed me here had haunted my dreams.
Every bit of it.
From leaving Raleigh at the hospital, to the fight with Bos at school yesterday. Remembering the negative thoughts that kept swirling around in my head, convincing me that everyone’s lives would be better if I were no longer living on this earth.
What I did to myself…except this time in my dream, no one came to save me.
It just proved to me just how lucky I am to still be here, alive and breathing.
I see now that I’ve got some problems that I have to work through.
They tried to get me to open up in group today but…that shit just isn’t for me. I’m not against the idea of talking to someone just not a whole group of someone’s.
The doctor came by to see me this afternoon and put me on some medication for depression and said that it will take some time before we will know if it will help or not, or if the dose will need adjusted, or if this particular one will even work for me, but if it means getting to be with Raleigh and the babies, then I’m willing to go through as many as I need to until we find the right fit.
I can’t lose her again.
I can’t lose them.
Someone knocking on the open door to my room startles me out of my thoughts.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” a girl around my age says, pulling my attention to her.
As I take in her warm brown hair and vivid green eyes, I recognize her as one of the people that was in my group for therapy today.
Amelia, I think is what she said her name is.
Smiling, I move to sit up, dropping my sock covered feet to the white tile floor, giving her my full attention. “Don’t worry about it. Everything okay?” I ask, wondering why she’s dropped in on me.
It’s not like this is the kind of place anyone should be looking for someone to date, or even to hook up with for that matter, though I’m sure it happens. Not that it will happen with me, so if that’s her play she can move right on along.
I watch as her eyes take me in from head to toe, her cheeks tinting a rosy pink as she bites the corner of her bottom lip, her left hand knotting in her hospital issued top.
She takes a step into the room, her voice dropping a bit as she uses her thumb to point over her shoulder, “Oh, um, I just wanted to let you know it’s time for dinner. Everyone is required to eat out in the common room together. Wouldn’t want you to get into trouble on your first day.l, now would we?”As she’s talking she closes the distance between us until she’s standing close enough that she reaches out and rests her hands against my pecs.
Not the least bit comfortable with the action, I grasp hold of her hands and pull them off of me immediately.
“Don’t,” I snarl as I quickly get to my feet. From above her, I don’t even bother to hold back my glare as I push her away. “I have a girlfriend that I am very much in love with. Touch me again and next time I’ll do a lot more than just remove your hands from my body.”
“Is that a promise?” Amelia asks, clearly a woman on a mission as she closes the distance between us once more and presses her body against mine as she slides her hand between us. “I saw you eye fucking me in group earlier, you want me just as badly as I want you, you don’t have to play hard to get baby,” as she’s speaking she wraps her hand around my dick before I can stop her and begins moving her hand up and down my length.
“What the fuck?!” I shout, shoving her away once more. “I told you not to fucking touch me!”
"Oh baby, your mouth says one thing, but your cock, it’s telling me you want me.” She gives me a wicked grin as her eyes slide to my crotch, “You’re already hard and I barely even touched you.”
“I’m a fucking man, of course I’m hard!” I growl through clenched teeth as I prowl towards her.
From the glee I see on her face, I can tell that she thinks that she’s won, but I’ll show her. I get right in her face, like I’m about to kiss her before I say, “The fucking wind can blow just right and I’ll be sporting a boner. Don’t for one second think you’re special. The only woman’s body that I will ever touch again is my girl’s and she’s definitely ain’t fucking you!”
Then, reaching down for the hand that grasped ahold of me, I squeeze it in my hand and say, “Now if you were a man, I would have already broken your hand and beat the shit out of you. But I’ll give you the choice to get out of here and never look my way again or…I report you.”
“You’re an asshole,” she shrieks as she tries to pull her hand from my grasp.
“You have no fucking idea just how much of an asshole I can be.” I tell her, the side of my mouth pulling up in a snarl. “Now, what the fuck is it going to be?”
She seems to be seriously pondering the implications, I can see it in her eyes. After a few more moments she releases a heavy sigh and takes a step back and says, “Fine, you win. I’ll leave you alone.”
“I mean it, one wrong move and it’s your ass.”
She nods and I release her.
She gets to the door before turning back around, her eyes roam the full length of me once more before she says, “I hope she knows she’s one lucky bitch,” before walking back out of my room.
And all I can think is, “She’s not the lucky one, I am.”
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