Chapter Sixty Eight
Raleigh
I stare at Lincoln, my pulse thrumming so loudly in my ears that I don’t hear the door shut behind my brothers as they make their exit but when he turns his attention back to me, there’s no way that I can hide my surprise.
“What?” He asks with a slight chuckle, the corner of his mouth pulling up in that smirk that I love so much. “You seem surprised.”
Swallowing past the lump in my throat, I murmur, “I-I am.” His brows draw together and he quirks his eyebrows together as though he doesn’t understand why I would even question such a thing. So, I elaborate for him. “You really still want to be with me? After what I did? After everything that I just told you?”
I watch Lincoln’s eyes change for a moment, his expression hardening, but only for a moment before it softens once more and he shifts his position and lifts one hand to cradle the side of my face in his large palm.
“Baby,” he says, his voice coming out in nearly a whisper. “I-“ he starts to speak but stops, as if rethinking his words for a moment before starting again, his voice holding more strength to his words than before. “I *hate* that you were hurt so badly and that I couldn’t protect you. I *hate* that that scumbag got off so easy and that he won’t get what he deserves.
“I wish I could bring him back from the dead, if only to kill him myself, I don’t care if it would land me in prison for the rest of my life. For what he did to you, what he put you through, it would be worth it. I thought I lost you once and I don’t ever want to have to live without you again.”
By the time Lincoln finishes, I’m a bawling mess, barely able to get a word out as I wrap my arms around him, bury my face in his chest and try to respond with, “I don’t ever want to have to live without you again, either.” Lincoln pulls back and looks down into my eyes, his gaze shifting back and forth from my eyes and my mouth as he lowers his head slowly, giving me plenty of time to stop him if I’m not ready for any kind of intimacy with him after what I’ve gone through.
But honestly, I just want to lose myself inside of this man that I in no way deserve and forget about all of the horrible things that I’ve been through and all the equally horrible things that I’ve done over the last 6 weeks.
When his lips are just barely an inch from my own and his eyes already closed, I can feel his breath hitting my lips as he says, “if you’re not ready, stop me now…”
Before he closes the last inch, a knocking at the door interrupts the moment, taking the decision out of my hands as the doctor from earlier sticks his head through the opening in the doorway and says, “sorry to interrupt but I’d like to get an ultrasound to get an idea of how far along you are.
Behind him, a young nurse pulls a machine that looks like a computer monitor on a cart with all kinds of gadgets hooked up to it.
I glance at Lincoln, my teeth digging into my lower lip as nerves assault me at the knowledge that I’m fixing to receive irrefutable proof that this baby may not be his and then I’m going to lose him forever, regardless of what he claims.
No man wants to raise a child that isn’t theirs…especially not one that’s only a teenager.
Winking at me, he twines his fingers through mine, squeezing my hand reassuringly as the doctor pushes boots up the screen and appears to be getting everything set up.
“Alright,” he says, as he holds up a wand that has what looks like a condom rolled down over it. “Since we don’t know how far along you are, I’m going to do what’s called a transvaginal ultrasound.”
“Is that…a condom?” Lincoln asks as I gawk and squirm, holding my legs tightly closed, at the sight of the long phallus shaped object that I’m pretty sure he wants to put inside of me.
“Yes,” Dr. Richards says with a chuckle, I’m sure having heard that question many times before. “Why not, right?” He asks jokingly.
“And you plan to put that,” I say, pointing to the object he’s waving around like he’s Harry Potter and he’s trying to cast a spell. “*Inside* of me?” The second part comes out as more of a question than a statement but, what does the man expect, especially when he’s acting like he’s fixing to bippidy, boppidy, boop my vagina with the dang thing. And if that’s the case, who the heck knows what may come of *that* particular spell.
“It’s completely safe,” the nurse says, taking the wand looking thing from the doctor, while giving him a hard look and then turning her attention back to me. “If you will just scoot down a bit in the bed and spread your legs, then I’ll insert the transducer.” She places it at my opening and the gel that she lubricated it with is cold and causes me to jolt, not having expected such a sensation there at all. “Sorry,” she apologizes, her cheeks tinting pink with embarrassment. “I always forget how cold the gel gets and forget to warn the patients.” She slips the rod inside of me, easing it slowly deeper as she adjust in direction that she needs it.
“Alright,” Dr. Richards says, pulling my attention to the screen to my right instead of having it in the woman between my legs. “The triangle right here is your uterus.” He explains circling the black triangle filling up the center of the screen. “And this right here,” he says as the nurse adjusts the rod inside of me, making me wince in discomfort. “These are your babies.”
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