Chapter Forty One

Boston


Walking through the nearly deserted hallways, I make my way out the school's side entrance, and head toward the parking lot, pulling my hood over my head as the rain beats down harder as I begin running. I hate skipping out on classes, but we'll just be in the weight room today because of the weather and I have to do this before I have the chance to change my mind.

Climbing into my truck, I rock the key forward, as the engine comes to life. *Torn to Pieces* by Pop Evil, plays through the speakers. Turning it up louder, I make my way out of the parking lot, determined to not talk myself out of going to Dads office to set things straight.

Something that I should have done long before now.

The storm continues to rage as the rain comes down on my windshield faster that my wipers can keep up, almost as if trying to deter me from continuing on with what I've set out to do. Forty minutes later, I pull into a parking space outside of dads law firm, Jones and associates, and shut off the ignition. "Here goes nothing," I say to myself as I open up the driver’s side door and step out into the cold rain and begin jogging towards the entrance of the building.

"Hello, Mr. Jones," Leticia, my dad’s secretary says in greeting upon seeing me enter, "how can I help you today?"

"Is my dad available?" I ask, glancing through the door to my left that I know leads to his workspace.

"I believe he just finished up with a client," she says, grabbing the phone off of the receiver, "let me check really quick."

I nod my understanding and begin pacing the small waiting room, nerves hitting me over what I'm about to do.

"He will be with you in just a moment." She says, placing the phone back down, then asks, "can I get you a soda or anything while you wait?"

"I'm good, but thanks." I tell her just as I watch my dad step into the doorway, a confused look on his face.

"Son?" he says, walking toward me, "is everything okay?"

"Can we talk?" I ask, in return and stuff my hands in my front pockets to keep from fidgeting.

"Sure, follow me." When we get to his office, he shuts the door behind him, but instead of going to sit at his desk, he takes the seat next to the one I've taken up, spearing me with the same bright blue eyes that I see every time I look in the mirror or look at one of my brothers.

"What's going on son?" he finally says after a few moments of silence.

I breathe out a breath, not even sure of where to start, "It's about Aspen and the baby," I finally say.

He quirks an eyebrow at me, as if he didn't expect this kind of discussion, and adjust himself in his seat, leaning forward, giving me his full attention, "you know who the dad is?" He asks, clarifying what I've yet to say.

I nod my head *yes*.

"And who is it?" he says very slowly, almost as though he senses that he already knows the answer but doesn't want to believe it, which causes me to lower my face to my lap, not wanting to see the disappointment on his facet over what I'm about to tell him.

"The baby..." I start, still looking at my lap, but then decide *fuck it, I'm not ashamed that the baby is mine, or that I love her*, and lift my head to look him in the eyes as I speak my truth. "The baby is mine," I tell him, and watch as his eyes widen in surprise, clearly not expecting that answer after all, and then his face drops in disappointment.

"It's yours?" he asks, clarifying my statement.

"Yes."

"And how long has there been something going on between you and Aspen?" He asks, sitting back in the chair, steepling his hands together as he waits for my answer.

"Since the beginning." I tell him honestly, there's no point in lying.

"Are you fucking kidding me, Boston?" His sudden change in demeaner catches me off guard, causing me to jerk back when he jumps up from his seat, towering over me, his face livid. "I fucking trusted you, and you took advantage of that trust!" he says, pushing his index finger into my chest, spittle flying from his lips from the force of his words, "I didn't think that I needed to tell you boys to keep it in your pants with her, I thought it would have been fucking obvious!" He says, pulling back and walking away from me, throwing his hands up into the air, "Clearly I was mistaken!"

"How long did it take after they moved in before you—" he starts saying, but I cut him off, "It wasn't like that dad!"

"Fuck!" Glaring at him, I stand up getting in his face, "You of all people should know me better than that!" I tell him, hurt that he immediately put the blame on me. I mean, yeah, it was both of our faults, but she's not some easy fuck. "It's not like that with her, I fucking love her, dad!" I tell him, my chest heaving as I try to control the anger coursing through my veins, "We met her first night in town after my football game. I knew then that there was something special about her, I was fucking drawn to her dad."

"So, the next morning when you found out she was your sister, you what? Decided who gives a rats ass?" He asks, getting right back in my face.

"No, actually!" I tell him, "We tried to stay away from one another, but like moths to a flame, we kept finding ourselves drawn to one another. Dad, I'm not fucking around here. I love her. I could see myself one day marring her and raising our child together." I tell him, needing him to understand the depth of my feelings for her.

"And what about me and Ashlynn?" he questions`, his voice quiet as all of his fight leaves him, "where does this leave us?"

"Aspen and I being together doesn't have to affect your relationship, not if you support us." I tell him. Taking a deep breath, I turn my back, needing a moment before I continue, "Your guys’ happiness is why we tried so hard to stay away from one another." I tell him after a moment, "We clearly failed, but honestly, I can't bring myself to feel guilty over that, just that we kept it from you guys."

"So, you really love her?" he asks, his face softening, as if finally accepting that I'm telling the truth about my feelings.

"With every beat of my heart. She's it for me, Dad."

"What if she doesn't get her memories back, then what?" he says, asking one of the many questions that I don't have the answer to.

"I don't know. I'd hope that memory loss or not, that those feelings that we shared, would still be there." I tell him honestly, falling back down into the chair, "But, I won’t force anything on her. If she doesn't get her memories back and doesn't fall back in love with me, I'll have to do the right thing by her and let her go. What else can I do?" I say, voicing one of my biggest fears.

"Hopefully it won't come to that son." he says, coming over to stand next to me and clapping me on the shoulder, then he begins chuckling, "You know that you have to tell Ashlynn, right?"

"God!" I say, wishing more than anything that Aspen would get her memories back soon, "can you buy me some time, until hopefully Aspen gets her memories back?" I ask, knowing that it's a big ask. But I won't blame him if he can't do this for me.

"I can't lie to Ashlynn, Boston," he says, sighing and then running his hands over his face, "I'll see what I can do to try to soften the blow though, but you need to tell her. I think you should figure out a way to tell Aspen also. But I understand that you need more time."

I nod, and then look at the area between my shoes, *what if I lose her? What if she doesn't get her memories back and only ever sees me as a brother, instead of the person she could have had a future with?*

"I'm scared, Dad." I tell him, honestly, my voice low and dripping with the fear that coursing through my veins at the real possibility of losing her, "I don't want to lose her."

"Let's just take it one step at a time," he tells me, wrapping his arms around me in a hug.

"And what's the first step?" I ask, as we pull apart.

"We have to get Ashlynn on board." He says this like I should have known the answer to that question. The thought alone causes my gut to churn.

*Damnit! It would be so much easier if Aspen remembered, then she would be able to help her mom see the truth of our feelings for one another.*

"Fuck!"

"Watch your mouth, you may be going to be a dad, but that doesn't mean that gives you a pass," he scolds, shaking his head back and forth at me, but his smile tells me that we have his support.

Which means everything at the moment, because I have a feeling, that the road ahead isn't going to be an easy one.