Who is Marsai’s mate?

Marsai's POV

I sighed dejectedly as I looked up at Elena, her deep green eyes pleading with me as she edged the plate closer to my face.

"No" I muttered, looking away. I didn't want it.

"Please," she begged, picking up the fork on the tray and placing it on the plate, "just eat something, even a little. It's not right to starve yourself."

I shook my head, trying not to look at the surprisingly good omelet on the plate. "I can't," I sighed as I looked away, "I don't want to"

Leah edged closer to me, the sheets underneath her ruffling as she moved, bringing her hand close to my face she tucked a piece of my scattered hair behind my ears, "If you don't want to eat the omelet, I can ring the maids for something else," she said, "what would you like? Pancakes, maybe? Or a broth to warm you up?"

No. I didn't want it….I didn't want anything at all.

"I don't want to eat anything. I'm not…hungry" I stressed. Elena gave me one of those her, not–so–persuading looks.

"Marsai—"

"Elena, please." I interrupted with a groan. Why don't they just get that I didn't feel like eating, I don't know if it was the fact that I couldn't even feel if I was hungry or not, or that I wouldn't swallow my pride and eat what Fenrir made.

I felt Leah lean closer to me, "It's going to be okay" she mumbled.

“Okay?”

I turned to look at her, and back at Elena who had dropped the plate back on the tray and kept it on the bedside table by her side.
Did she just say…okay?

"Okay?" I repeated, still staring at them. "It's not going to be okay. Nothing is going to be okay, Leah!"

"Come on, Marsai don't say that." Leah said.

"Yeah, everything will be alright," Elena concurred, "Try to be a little more—"

"Optimistic?" I interrupted and shifted away from Leah to have a better look at both of them, "what's so optimistic about all this?" I raised my brow at them, already feeling the burn in my throat. The frustration building, "there is nothing to be optimistic about this!"

"Marsai—"

No...st…op please" I said, my voice breaking as I stood up abruptly. "You don't understand. You don't…." I took a deep breath, trying rather unsuccessfully to blink back the hot tears from spilling down my face. "You don't understand how miserable I have been…how miserable everything has been"

Leah reached forward and held my hand, bringing me slowly back to the bed, " I can only imagine…how horrible it must have been"

I slowly shook my head. No, she couldn't imagine. None of them could.

"I..I can still remember everything," my voice came out low as I began reminiscing. "I mean..how could I forget?" I looked up at their anticipating faces.

I bent my head low, the tears dropping like raindrops unto my dress and the bedsheets, "how could I forget the dampness of…my parent's blood on my dress? Or how could I forget the hollowness of their soulless eyes….the pain.." I held my chest, "the stabbing pain I felt when I saw my parents…lying there, disfigured…dead in their own pool of blood."
I raised my eyes at them and I could see their pity through my blurred vision…the sympathy in their sad eyes. But there was no need now, was there? No need for pity…or sympathy. I didn't need the pity….sympathy that would do me no good. But I just wanted them to—understand…understand how miserable I was. How miserable I am..And how useless it will be to be optimistic.

I continued. "How could I forget.." my brows furrowed, "the look of nonchalance on his face….after murdering my parents. No remorse. He had no remorse!”

Elena and Leah didn't need to ask me who I was referring to. They knew. Everyone knew.

Without waiting for them to say something, anything I continued. "It wasn't enough that he killed my parents, he forced me to marry him, killed half the Elders," I saw the slight surprise in both their faces,
"Threw me in the dungeon….and tried to…" I cringed, "touch me"

Leah jerked forward in suprise, "what?" her brows furrowed, "he touched you?"

"No, no" I sighed, looking away, "he didn't" I cleaned my wet cheeks with shaking palms, trying so hard not to remember what had happened that day, "You know the worst part about all this?" I asked rhetorically , "I…the supposed daughter of the late Alpha and Luna could do nothing! Nothing! I just…accepted my fate…just like that. I couldn't even fight…"

The reality of that dawned on me again. I couldn't fight…I didn't fight, because I was weak. That's what It was…weakness.

"Look, Marsai" Elena said reaching forward and pulling me to sit closer to the both of them, "don't blame yourself, it's not your fault"

I bit her lips, "but it is."

"No.." Leah tried to convince me, but I shook my head in reluctance.

"It is my fault. If I had just followed father's rules, if I hadn't saved him, none of this could have happened in the first place"

"Wait, hold up.." Elena raised a confused brow at me.

"What do you mean by “if you hadn’t saved him?” Leah asked, and I remembered that they didn't know. No one did.

"I…" a sudden pang of guilt started eating me up as I recollected what had happened a few days ago.

"Marsai, tell us what happened." Leah pressed and I sighed heavily.

"It's all my fault," I began, this time not even trying to hold back the tears, "You remember when I went out for a run? On my birthday?"

"Yeah.” they both nodded.

I sniffled, "well, I took a detour by the woods and as I was walking back I saw…him"

Elena's eyes widened, "Fenrir?"

"Yes"

"Did he try to…attack you?" Leah asked.

"No," I took a deep breath, "he was half dead in a heap of snow. Unconscious actually"

"Unconscious?" Leah asked, "why?"

"I don't know." It sounded stupid to me at this point. Oh, Marsai. "I don't know, but I saved him. I dug him out of the snow and placed him under a tree. I knew father would have never approved…so I didn't tell him, or anyone" I looked down at my shaky fingers, "I had planned to…come back for him after the party…but I guess he came for me."

"This is all so…crazy" Elena interjected.

"Hmm," I rubbed my forehead, "not as crazy as me sniffing the scent of my mate, which is all so convenient right now—"

It was like I had dropped a bombshell, Leah's eyes popped open.

"Huh?" Leah and Elena blinked in suprise.

"You found your mate?" Leah asked, her voice surprisingly high that even I was surprised.

"Hey, calm down will ya?" Elena cautioned before turning back to me, "Praise the heavens! I'm so happy for you. Who is it, though?"

I blinked. “I didn't know…I mean, I knew he was nearby, but I didn't know who he was.”

"You don't know?" Elena raised an eyebrow.

Leah, who seemed lost in thought, turned to me, her green eyes glimmering with something I couldn't understand, "do you think it's Fenrir?"

Huh?

Fenrir? No…it couldn't be. I mean, it couldn't, right? I honestly didn't know anymore. I didn't even know what to say.