The confrontation

Fenrir

I stood outside the Marsai's door after delivering the breakfast I spent over thirty minutes preparing.

Pitiful…

How much of this did I have to do? How much food and effort of mine was she going to discard like a filthy piece of clothing? Would I stop if she didn't eat it this time too? Absolutely, no.

Yes, I was getting impatient but I don’t think I would ever stop. Besides, I enjoy cooking and caring for her so much.

Nowadays, My mood wholly depends on how receptive Marsai was towards me...it hasn't been good.

Every time I got impatient with everything that was happening, I remembered all the things I have done to her; from disrupting her special and marking it to a mournful day for her. The most recent one, putting her best friend and the guards through a near-death experience was still fresh in my mind.

I finally see the light behind the fog.

But then— how I made her respond to me when I had no idea who I was. Or why I kept going into this blood rage. I knew I wanted her. It was evident that the blood rage also only recognized her, making me desire her, but at the same time, it also made me the monster I am.

There was one last bridge I needed to cross before I could know how to treat her right.

I needed to find out who I was...I mean, who was this body… who it belongs to, and why his baggage kept soiling everything I was trying so damn hard to keep.

I forgot I was standing in front of her door and she could have woken up by now, so I left.

On my way to my room, I met Clara on her way to Marsai's room.

"Good morning, Alpha.." She bows, avoiding eye contact.

"Morning Clara. Heading to Luna's room?" I asked gently. That made her finally look up at me.

"Yes, Alpha…"

"Alright. Do well to knock softly. She arrived late last night from her outing." I informed her. Just the image of her resting peacefully brought a small smile to my face.

Yes...she did it for me.

"I will, Alpha."

With that, I left for my room. I needed to reach the far back of my mind to find this person, this voice...it was still a little foggy. I knew his name was Hawk and also from the Moonbound Pack.

If he was Hawk, and I'm Fenrir, which I am so damn I am, then why did I keep having intrusive memories of a face and body like me bearing the name ‘Hawk’ was it because I know possess this body? How did I happen to be in this body?

And why didn't I remember most of Hawk’s past life except for haunted memories as trailers?

I decided to lock the door of my washroom and filled the tub with cold water and some salt I had taken from the kitchen.

This technique of meditation and concentration helped with reconnection. I had no idea if I had done this before so I was about to find out.

I stripped to the skin, standing bare before the plain silver bathtub that stood in the center of my washroom. My robe and towel hung on the wooden vertical hanger just beside it.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped my right foot in first, shivering a bit from the cold sensation before I warmed up to the icy feeling. It was still quite a young dawn so the water from the reserve was pretty much as cold as the earliest part of the day.

"Okay..you got this Fenrir.." I cheered myself up to put my second foot in, but goosebumps ran up my legs and lingered at the base of my spin.

I still wasn't sure what the salt was going to do exactly but who was I to question? I'm in desperate need of answers that only eyes have answers to, so doing came with no other option.

Taking the plain cotton blindfold I made from tearing apart a washcloth from the edge of the tub, I folded it to fit the width of an eye piece.

I wrapped it around my eyes till the bright light of the morning was pitch black and nothing more. I lowered myself down, slow and cautious of my surroundings so I didn't slip.

My ears were more alert than ever, listening to every reaction the water gave as it adjusted to my weight and tension. Alas, I settle at the baser, feeling the cold-coated metal feel cold against my bare butt.

How on bloody earth is this supposed to make me relax…

My desperation was starting to look senseless. Trusting the unhinged memory, I closed my eyes and focused on my mind, expanding its horizon around me.

This zone was pitch black for only lord knows how long until splashes of color started to stain my sight. I felt more suspended in the water than I was early and soon, the memories started to become more visible.

I expected to see me, or at least someone that looked like me but wasn't me but instead, I saw an older looking man. My brain recognized him a lot immediately. His gray white, thick and long hair, his gracious build, his broad shoulders, everything— even the look of disappointment embroidered on his face was just as I remembered.

He was Hawk’s father. The Alpha heir whose position was given to his younger brother and his mate’s left him for his Beta.

Yes. That weak version of myself or maybe not me. e

He was frowning in disgust at someone...Me?

"How did you let him beat you to the ground, you worthless slime?!" The old man barked at his son, who kept his head low in respect and shame.

He looked furious as hell.

I hear a weak wimping but I don't see the person, almost like they were in my blank spot.

"Look at Hunter! Can't you learn from him? You are supposed to be an Alpha, AN ALPHA, Hawk!" His saliva left his mouth and splashed on ‘me’ as he yelled.


More degrading and further disapproving expressions about how disappointed he was continued, and I finally knew why this darkness existed, but it didn't explain a lot. I hoped to see something from Hawk's past that would shed some light about the blood rage and how I got to the forest where I had first met Marsai.

The scene I was currently seeing started to fade to nothing, vague and elusive images until I heard something that made shoot out of the water.

"You lost your mate to YOUR INTENDED BETA. How would the pack members trust you to lead them? You are weaker than your Beta, even more weaker than your brother, Hade.”

I Inhaled a sharp breath after completely submerging for an unknown amount of time but it felt like hours. Though I was aware that a werewolf can't hold their breath for that long underwater.

I got out of the chilly water, using my white towel to wipe off the salt and water mixture before putting on my gray robe.

Hunter…

It came off as a familiar name, but I had no idea where it was. I knew I must have heard it before but I couldn't remember. Moonbound Pack. Would I be able Hunter in that Pack or was all of this something that had happened several years ago?


I held my forehead and pressed it to reduce the headache I was now having. I need to find Rudulph.


He is a pain in the ass but also an excellent cartographer, plus he should be able to know more about the werewolf Packs in the community since he started his beta duties quite young.

I put on a long coat with a white cotton shirt tucked into black combat trousers with plaid brown boots.

Some maids brought my breakfast and I asked for a medical to reduce my headache, which was brought soon after.

The throbbing didn't reduce until after a few hours of sleep. I didn't realize that forcing myself to recollect the body owner’s memories could hurt like this.

What about my own original memories about the life where I was Fenrir and not Hawk? Would I ever get those memories back?

It was afternoon already, so I set off to the location Rudolph was working on.

I bet he should know who Hunter is, since he is a new Alpha too, and if not…Maybe he will know the Moonbound Pack?

When I got there, Rudolph wasn't alone. Aside from him, all the other werewolves that were working alongside him to divert the flood were all Omega. I couldn’t perceive the smell of a higher werewolf except Rudolph.

It was crazy because the flood had affected their houses and farms too, and they just thought it wasn’t their place to help out their Beta unlike the Omegas.

I couldn't understand the diversity and it made me realize that I don’t know much about werewolves. How come? Was my original body not a werewolf?