Marsai gets drunk

Marsai's POV

This can't be true..

"Leah.."

She refused to meet my eyes. Her chest rose and fell quicker than normal from the fight she just had with Elena.

From my peripheral vision, I could see Elena smile sinisterly. It was a little early for her victorious smile, Leah was yet to reply.

"Leah, please tell me she's lying?"

At that point, I was pleading with her. She kept looking away at a random painting of a fruit bowl on the wall, avoiding my gaze.

"Leah goddamnit! Look at me and tell me Elena is just being Elena and she's lying." I exclaimed, desperation sipping into my voice like self-made poison.

She refused to look at me, she refused to speak. I could hear her sniff. Feeling too much rage, I looked at Elena struggling to pick herself off the ground, smirking at me.

"I told you.."

With that, I stormed out of their house and into my carriage.

"Take me home!" I ordered the coach driver. I sat in the empty space of the carriage thinking of everything that just happened within the last 24 hours.

Like how could I split the difference? It was the same old way we would go out into town to shop. We always hung out like this, just me and her and Rudolph sometimes.

Why did everything have to get so much more complicated? I already had too much to worry about Fenrir, if I was willing to let him explore my body and accept him into my heart. Now I have to worry about Leah and her true intentions with me.

No! This has to be another one of Elena's trajectories, she was trying to make me see things that aren't there. Leah has been nothing but an awesome friend to me, nothing more.

I laid my head back on the soft velvet couch. The sun peeked through the window casting a warm glow on my thighs where my hands lay.

Tears were streaming down my face as I recalled the words of my deceased mother a few days before my 18th birthday;

"It's not going to be easy from here, Marsai. There's only so much your father and I can protect you from. But now, you are going to be a fully grown she-wolf. Challenges will push you to the wall and make you forget who you are, but know-" she had said softly as she rubbed my face and handed me the crescent necklace, with the illusionary image of the Moon goddess.

"She would always be with you and so would I.."

I missed her so much. I cried harder. The silver dress I wore started to make me hot inside and I craved to just take it off and lay down in something light...free.

The carriage came to a halt, and I stared out the little window. We were already behind the fence of the Alpha quarters. My door opened and the driver of the carriage helped me down, offering a little bow.

I walk straight into the mansion, up to my room, and slamming close the door.

Thoughts of different kinds infiltrated my mind.

"What would you do if your mate was a she-wolf?"

I recalled Leah's awkward question that had sent me into a moment of silence. And I remembered my answer, I just couldn't be the possibility. I never pictured myself with a she-wolf.

I tried to push Elena's convincing voice away from my head, stirring on my bed and rumpling the white sheets. Leah wouldn't do this to me, she is a good person.

“But she didn't exactly deny it when you asked.” I reminded myself. “She also couldn't look me in the eye.” I added feeling angry and embarrassed.

Leah was confident, she has always been the more confident and daring one in our friendship.

Wherever we go, we always hold hands and I would agree because we were inseparable. She was like my twin even though she was two years older. We went everywhere together, even if Leah didn't want to go. If I was there, then she would be there.

I recalled the way she had looked at me when I wore my birthday dress, the way her eyes held mine in the mirror as she helped with the zip.

Yesterday, she had also held me in a tight embrace, and kissed me on the cheeks. This is something we did quite often...it was normal, until now…

My brain logically displayed how her face had dropped when I said I would love to go to the theater with someone special, and how she had quickly mentioned Fenrir.

No no no… I can't do this.

If I continue this way, I will keep reading meaning into every special moment we had together!

I would be destroying myself in the process. I can't do more harm to my mental state than it already was. I needed something to take my mind off everything.

Around this time a night ago, I was having a regular day. Regular in the sense, I was avoiding Fenrir while engaging in my status duties as Luna. Right now, I desperately seek his presence more than anything.

Usually, I go to Leah for comfort… to take my mind off things, but now I wasn't so sure.

I need Fenrir, not to just clarify about my previous escape plan, but to be held in his arms. He was the one person I could think of at the moment that would risk anything for a smile on my face. Absurd right? But it's true.

I walked to my open window, just to take some fresh air and let the view of the harvested fields calm my racing mind. It didn't work. Instead, It reminded me of the time Leah and I played hide and seek around the fields, running and trying to jumpscare ourselves.

Our delighted squeals and giggling were still fresh in my head like it was yesterday. I wish we were just the same as we were ten years ago. Free, cheerful, and blooming, unaware of how complicated our lives would get in the next few years.

“This isn't helping…” I said to myself. I have to leave my room.

I walked down the hallway towards his room. I haven't really gone to his room except for that night and even then, it was lit with the orange glow of the fireplace. I tried the door, it was still locked.

I felt disappointed that he wasn't back yet. I let out a sigh and went back to my room to get the spares then I opened the door.

His scent immediately filled my senses, calming me down. There are no words to describe Fenrir's scent but it was everywhere. I remembered it from the first time I saw him in the forest, the smell of copper from his blood and forest earth mixed with a scent of warm olive.

It was the most naturally pleasing thing I have ever perceived.

I sat on his queen-sized bed with black golden sheets and white lotus pattern embroidery placed in intervals. His scent was more intense there.

I looked around for anything that could distract me. I remembered Clara telling me of his intensive drinking habits during our one week of disagreement.

Surely, he should have a bottle or two laying around. I checked around the room for a bottle but found none, again, the disappointment came flooding in.

Walking around the spacious room, I looked through his clothes, sniffing each one deeply for the comfort his scent gave me. Each shirt and coat, though clean, had his scent lingering on it.

Closing the closet back, I spotted another just close by. Unsure what was in it, I opened it.

It was filled with wine bottles dated to 50 years back, some of them were devoid of names and carvings on their container.

I picked a small one and popped the cock open, the sharp aroma of fermentation tickling my nostril making me move it away from me a little.

A faded image of Leah crossed my mind

Fuck it.

It was enough to trigger me to take three full gulps before wiping my lips. The content danced around my mouth, moving between sweet and sour before I swallowed it. The burning sensation strangely left me yearning for more, to quench the path of thirst my first gulp created.

I closed the closet which I figured was just a mini bar for him, quite innovative. I found myself giggling at his creativity.

Was I drunk already?

I put my fingers in front of my face to study them. The images didn't mix or sway, and I didn't feel like I had a concussion, so I just continued to drink the wine shamelessly.

I went to his huge velvet armrest couch that sat just by his fireplace and dropped the wine container on the desk before starting a fire. I rested on the couch when it started glowing. The wine in my hand again, I began to wonder if Fenrir ever sat down by the fire while waiting for me to come back home in the last few days.

Did he have wine in hands also? Of course. I quickly updated myself. Clara said he had been drinking every time .

Aside from waiting for me by the fire, has he ever thought of me while watching the firewood burn slowly into smoke as I was thinking of him now?

I laughed at my emotional intrusive thoughts. Maybe, I should drink often, so Fenrir and I would be on talking terms and I wouldn't have tried to run away from everything.

Running away…

That's when I thought of Rudolph…


He didn't talk about having feelings for me or anything related to the topic till I spoke about fleeing. I flinched when I remembered his idea of making me stay by getting married to me and sparing me from Fenrir. He even suggested we dubbed the pack and reveal that we were mates. Damn.

I tried my hardest to push those thoughts away as they never made any sense to me.

Now, I was starting to believe the only Aegenwulf who was telling me the truth was Elena. But then again, she’s cunning and only does things in her interest.

"Cheers to you, Elena. You were right.." I giggled bitterly as I struggled to keep my eyes open. "-I might actually be the most naive girl I knew.."

Even when the truth was painted in red right in front of me, I found a way to overlook it or see blue.

The alcohol was getting to me fast too. My feet wobble every time I try to fix them on the wooden floor beneath my feet.

Enforcing the last conscious energy I had in me to muster, I swung the last content left in the bottle past my lips, and dropped the empty container on the armrest chair.

I staggered to the bed, finally realizing how ridiculously huge the Fenrir room was because the bed got even farther with every step I struggled to take.

"Come on Marsai...few more steps.." I try to cheer myself to the fat finish line.

Eventually, I ended up crawling to the bed on my fours like an Omega in heat. I hoisted myself onto his bed which took longer than I'm willing to admit.

I laid on his pillow and hugged his other one, and with that..I felt my consciousness slip away.