Chapter 114

Jason's pov :
We were sitting in my mom's cabin, I couldn't tell her about Lia and my break up yet. I was waiting to know what she wanted to tell me.
"Jay, please, promise me that you won't react before listening to the end!" My mom broke the awkward silence and I just nodded. He didn't know that I wasn't in the condition to react.
"Asher and I haven't been together since you got into that accident, we got divorced the next week and he got married to another girl," she exhaled a long breath and closed her eyes as if trying to evaluate the next words she was going to utter.
"No, no, no!" I shook my hands in disbelief and covered my face with my hands. "It can't be the truth. You two were perfect together, my dad can't do this."
Mom swallowed a lump in her throat and cleaned her cheeks, drying the tears. "I didn't ask you to be strong for nothing. Do you wanna know our story?"
Sighing, I said yes and she started telling me her story. For sure, it wasn't going to be a happy story, I had read it from her face.
"Asher and I were two best friends who shared a good bond till the day a guy proposed to me and Asher started feeling jealous and insecure about me. He had a crush on the most beautiful girl in our class. On the last day of our high school, he even asked her out but she was not single. She said yes to a guy who was richer than Asher and I still remember how he got drunk and danced after being rejected. Though your dad was more handsome than that guy," she emphasized on my dad being handsome and slightly giggled.
I tried to understand and analyze it. "So you were two best friends who didn't know that you both loved each other but realized it after seeing your best friend getting approached by someone else, huh?"
"Exactly! I wasn't an easy girl though, I gave a hard time to your dad. The day we graduated, he proposed to me for the seventh time with a ring on the campus. I said yes to him and we got married." She blushed like a teenage girl who had just fallen in love.
For a moment, I forgot why they divorced and where Lia was! And felt happy to listen to their story, they had a cute story and it felt good to know how my parents got married?!
I was curious to know what went wrong then?! As if my mom discerned my look, the smile vanished from her face.
"Then why did we fall apart? Hmm? In a relationship, two people put effort and work together to live happily ever after. Unfortunately, I was so busy with the work that I forgot about it and didn't give time to Asher. You know, if you don't care about the person whom you love, they won't take too much to fall out of love. He bumped into the girl who rejected her one day and that's how their strings got attached." She began explaining and I felt guilty for being curious. But I deserved to know the truth, they hid it from me for a very long time.
"I'm so sorry, mom! I'm hating dad for cheating on you, I never expected this from him. Why didn't you tell me before?" I took her hands in mine and sat on the floor next to her, rubbing her hands gently to console her.
She took my face in her hands and kissed my forehead. "I was having the same feeling when I came back from a business trip and found your dad with that girl in our bed. It was the same day you met that accident and I was so selfish that I locked myself in a room and didn't dare to come out or face anyone for a week."
"No, mom! You weren't selfish, I was selfish. If I wouldn't have become so stubborn that day for a toy, maybe you wouldn't have worked so hard to provide me with a lavish life. I was the reason you fell apart, if you didn't have to give all your time to our company, perhaps you could live happily ever after with dad. I'm feeling so sinful for what I did to you, I snatched all the happiness from your life. It's good that Lia left me, I don't deserve her."
When I broke down and didn't care about the tears, my mom pulled me in a warm hug and I let all the pain flow through my eyes. I couldn't be strong, men were supposed to be strong and not shed a single tear in front of anyone but when I got to know the truth about Lia and my parents, I couldn't help but cry.
Probably if she wouldn't have broken up with me, I would have become strong for her, to make her feel better and console her but now, I had no reason for being strong. I didn't have the desire to smile, it was like my soul had left my body still, I was living.
In my entire life, I was being nothing but a selfish arrogant bastard. I was feeling like in just one day, my whole life changed and all the shit happened at the same time which made me feel demolished.
"Jay, you were never the reason behind anything. I never blamed you, son. People should never feel guilty about what they did in the past, they should try to modify themselves in a good shape for the future. You know, I was good enough for neither my children nor my husband. This remorse made me feel so devastated and I went into depression for three years." She muttered and smiled but I had a blank face.
I was feeling nothing, a few moments ago, my heart was aching but now it seemed like the pain went numb and my body, too. I was still listening to my mom but my brain was wondering about how perfect things could be if I wouldn't have been a selfish freak!.
"You never should blame yourself for anything that you didn't do on purpose. I knew that I could teach you to live an ordinary life and compromise with all the things but I chose to give you a prosperous life and I indeed succeeded in that. But I forgot that I had a family, too, who needed me. I miserably failed in balancing my family and my work. People make their own choice, they never should blame anyone else for their failure. And you should be strong and chase Lia, cherish what you have because not everyone is lucky enough to have what you have!."
My mom was right but I didn't deserve her. Maybe I could never overcome the guilt that was coagulating in my heart. "I don't deserve her, mom. She left the town and nobody knows where she is now! Kristen isn't her real mother, her real mom died while delivering her. I was mad at her for leaving just a letter for me and breaking up with me like this but after knowing the truth about our parents, we both are miserable. I know she must have thought what I'm thinking now. I don't deserve her"
"What? I… I'm so sorry but I didn't… um, it's heartbreaking."
"I just don't know what I should do! Should I accept the truth that I'm not good enough for her or should I chase her even knowing the fact that after learning all the things, I might not be strong and take good care of her?"
My mom offered me a glass of water and called her secretary. "Please, bring us one pizza and one burger from the cafeteria!"
When her secretary left, I looked at her in confusion.
"I know you must haven't eaten anything and food is necessary." She placed her hands on my arms and made me look into her eyes. "You are not gonna give up on your love. If you love her, you must chase her and not let her feel alone!. She deserves the best but that doesn't mean you should let her have someone else. You should be the best, you should make efforts to be the person whom she deserves."
How could I be so neglectful to never see the love of my mom for me?! "I promise mom, I'll never hurt you again ever and I'll chase my love." I hugged her and she caressed my hair with so much love.
I needed that encouragement from my mom because if she wouldn't have provoked me to do so, I might have given up and spent my whole life in regrets.
The lunch arrived and I ate it, I had to eat it as finding Lia was not going to be so easy. My mom giggled and wiped my mouth with her finger. "You always mess up with food while eating, especially when you're nervous."
"I'm worried about her, I don't know where she is!"
"Don't worry about that! Asher and I'll make sure to find her location before the night. After all, I've worked hard to get these connections." She giggled and I smiled, too.
"May I ask you something?" I finished the last slice of pizza and she nodded.
Hesitantly, I dared to ask her. "Why did you hide this from me? Did you never feel mad at dad for doing that to you? I'm sure that you didn't deserve it either."
Suddenly it felt like I was understanding my mom a little better as I tried to do so.
She simply smiled and enunciated, "I didn't want my children to suffer through with the divorced parents. We didn't want to give you a wrong example of love so we decided that when both of you'll start dating and will be mature enough to understand this, we'll tell you."
"So whenever dad went abroad, it was just an excuse to live with his wife, huh?"
She suppressed her lips and gave me an apologetic smile before speaking, "please, don't hate him! Everyone deserves love, I couldn't give him my time so he chose to be with his love rather than being in a loveless relationship and giving me false hopes."
"Don't you still love him?" I immediately questioned and the colour faded away from her face as if I had caught her off guard. "You love him then why did you let him go away? Why didn't you follow your own advice and chase him?"
My mom bit her lip, she was nervous to reply but she had to reply because I had to know everything.
"Ahem! You ask too many questions!" She waved me off but when she understood my stubborn look, she shook her head.
"First, my husband fell out of love but your girlfriend still loves you. It's about her finding the truth about her real mom and thinking that she doesn't deserve you. Second, Lia isn't loving someone else, you are not seeing her happy with someone else. Asher looked so happy with Rose, he was already in love with her and I didn't want to hold a dead plant." She simply shrugged like it was so cool and she didn't struggle with that.
"I must say that you are good at pretending as well as acting. You still look gorgeous and young, why don't you try movies?" I chuckled and she joined me in. I knew that it was hard for her to let my dad go away even when she still loved him but she handled everything so perfectly.
"Oh my God! You're here and your girlfriend is finding you at home. Barbie said that you are not receiving her calls. You should go home right now." My dad rested his hands on his knees and huffed.
Mom stood up and offered the glass of water to him. "Did Barbie tell anything else about Lia?"
I checked my phone which was on silent and had several missed calls from all of my friends, Barbie, dad, and Lia. Fuck! I shouldn't have put my phone on silent.
"She is drunk and she is speaking in some other language. Barbie is unable to understand her words." As soon as he finished, I got up from the couch and took the keys to my car.
Before leaving I hugged my mom and my dad's jaw dropped. I rolled my eyes at him and snickered. "You should be thankful to your ex-wife for making me understand everything and for not hating you-"
"We can talk later, you should leave now. Do you want me to drive you home?" Mom interrupted me and took her blazer from the chair.
"No! You guys can carry on with your work. Casano Empire needs you, I just need my girl for now." I smiled to assure my mom that I was able to handle it just like her, maturely and patiently!. Yes, I wanted to be like my mom!