Chapter 76

Liliana's pov :
I'm sitting on my bed, staring at the window where the day was starting for the world because the Sun was rising but I had no desire to leave my bed or do any of my morning chores.
The alcohol has already worn off last night and the credit goes to my dear boyfriend. No, ex-boyfriend! He broke up with me last night, left me alone in the night, in the strange city. Though I managed to get a cab to the resort and I safely made it to my room.
The hangover was setting in my body as the light started spreading more and more per minute, I could feel hammering in my head and my sluggish body refused to move from my bed.
I was unable to decide if I should leave the city right now or wait for Theo's final round of the competition. The physical and mental pain snatched all my power and I was feeling so weak that I never felt in my life before, not for even once!
I wanted to be selfish and go back to Los Angeles with my pain but I didn't want to ruin anything for Theo. I don't know why I was still thinking about others when I was already broken inside in shattered pieces that would take forever to get back together again.
Someone knocked on the door and I got out of my dazed situation. I took a short glance in the mirror of myself, the tears dried out of my eyes and they replaced my happy face with a swollen and red face.
No! I couldn't go outside of this room with this face, giving them proof of my sleepless and sobbing night.
"Lia! Lia! Where are you?" Fee's frustrated voice fell into my ears and I sighed in relief. I tiptoed to the door of my room and locked it before Fee could enter and see my swollen face.
If I won't open the door, she'll think that I'm still sleeping and she would leave me alone to deal with my hangover but it wasn't just a hangover, it's a heartbreak pain and I have to learn to deal with it.
I won't go to Jay for begging for his love. Whatever happens, happens for a good reason so there must be a reason behind it. I can't love some guy who doesn't even respect me and accept me however I'm!
In the starting, he said that he doesn't care about my looks and dressing style but now, it was bothering him so much that he didn't think once before breaking up with me.
I knew there was something off with him, he was tensed and disturbed since Barbie and Theo made their relationship official but it wasn't justifying his behaviour towards me.
I'm not a weak female lead of any fairy tale who will just go behind love, not for self-respect. I'm not gonna tolerate his rude behaviour, I didn't deserve that!
Sometimes you need to wake up from your lovey-dovey side and take a stand for yourself even if it takes courage to do it, just do it for your own sake! I quickly shooed away all the thoughts and washed my face and brushed my teeth.
First of all, I needed to be the strong girl that I was since childhood and pretend like nothing happened because even though it's bothering me like a hell, I won't let him show that how much his absence was affecting me!
The mirror showed me my truth, my fucking tears made me look the worst. Thanks to Fiona who brought masks into my room yesterday and we applied them before going to the party.
I don't know much about the masks but I guess at least it should take off the puffiness of my face and the rest face would be fixed by make-up. I was still in the restroom waiting for fifteen minutes to take off the sheet of mask.
"Lia, if you are up please, take this hangover medicine! Jesus, my head is pounding like hell." Fee knocked on my door and waited for my answer.
"Coming!" My face was already covered by the mask so I can go now and take the medicine because I needed it so much. The whiskey and vodka were playing on my nerves now.
"Thank you so much, Fee! I need it, too." I took the medicine and shoved it under my throat.
"You should thank your boyfriend and why have you applied mask now?" She pointed to my face with a suspicious look in her eyes.
Thank God! I had swallowed down the medicine otherwise, I would have choked on it. Why would Jay still care for me? Was he up to the pretending game? Should I tell my best friend that he isn't my boyfriend anymore?
Maybe not now!
"You know I drunk a lot last night and it affected my face a lot so it would help me to look normal." I shrugged and sat on the couch.
"My head is spinning so I would go to take a nap." Fiona also went into her room with a glass of water. She just sipped water when I came out of my room, why was she taking the glass in her room? Was George staying in her room?
"Fee! Did you sleep with George last night?" I crawled over to her and whispered in her ear.
She didn't say anything but her flushed cheeks were answering my question. I hugged her and she laid her blushing face on my shoulder. "I love him so much! Couldn't resist more of him! I needed some drinks to do that, um, so last night was perfect for that."
As the word LOVE fell in my ears, it reminded me of Jay and his rude words again echoed in my mind- "I'm done with you!"
Life doesn't give you the chance to have everything on your side forever so I chose to be happy for my best friend after burying my pain in a corner of my heart.
"I'm so happy for you," I uttered and plastered a smile on my face to wipe off the gloom of my heart.
"I know, I'm happy for you, too! You know, Jay was asking me if you slept last night or not, he cares for you so much. I think you should-"
"You should go to your room and throw this water on your naked boyfriend to wake him up." I shoved her into her room after winking at her and made my way back to my room.
Interrupting her wasn't my choice but I had to because I knew her words would hurt my broken heart more.
"No! No! Liliana Watson, you can't cry again," I shouted while eyeing myself in the mirror. Throwing my head backside, I sat on the couch of my room to stop the tears from falling out of my eyes.
I have to control myself, my body, my heart, my tears, my emotions, my feelings, my everything! I can't be fragile and want him even when he doesn't respect me. I should also be done with him, he showed his fake side to me so I could fall for him and then he would control my life but he didn't know that no one can control my life.
I took a hot shower in the bathroom and came back to my room after calming my body for one hour in the shower. The bathrobe was reminding me of Jay, how he reacted when he saw me in that white bathrobe!
His memories weren't leaving my head any soon and here, I was hoping to pretend as nothing happened. I opened the cupboard to take the clothes after taking a deep breath.
So now I had no one who could judge me for my attire, I smiled at the positive side and took a denim shirt and white bootcut jeans out of my wardrobe.
After combing my long hair and wearing the navy blue sports shoes, I glimpsed over the mirror. My perfect comfortable and happy shadow was lingering in the mirror and my brain shouted at me that it was all fake. The smile, the make-up to hide the dark circles under my eyes, the comfort, everything was fake about me. I was broken!
Yesterday I decided to never break up with Jay at any cost, I was even ready to change myself completely after seeing the pain of Alex but when it came to my self-respect, I couldn't follow my words. Alex was right, I could feel all the things he shared with me last night.
The emptiness, the doubts, the loneliness!
Heaving a deep sigh, I smiled at the mirror for the last time and marched to the library. A studious girl's mind can be calmed by the books perhaps so I checked all the books lying on the shelves.
Mostly the books were fictional, and I wasn't in the mood of reading any fairy tale or a story that has a happy ending because my story ended up so abysmally.
"Ugh! Why can't my mind shut its fucking thoughts? I don't want to think about him, I don't want to feel the pain." I shrieked and sat on the empty chair beside the window.
Without my permission, tears dropped from my eyes and I crossed my arms on the table and rested my head on it. I faced the window where the Sun was up and the birds were chirping.
I didn't complain about my tears, I let them stream so the tank of my eyes could be empty.
An arm trudged over my shoulder, and I could feel the warmth of someone's body beside me crashing into mine.
I slightly wiped my face and led my head up to the person who was trying to console me by caressing my back.
"I'm sorry!" He threw his weight on me and tightened his grip on my back, pulling me in a bone-crushing hug. "I can't live without you, I love you! I'm sorry, baby!" He mumbled in my ear, touching his lips to the soft spot of my ear and stroking my hair with his palm.