Book 2 Chapter 9
They'd spent some time at the kitchen island before Ioannis led Yalda out into the late afternoon air. The temperature had dropped to a comfortable Mediterranean evening mildness, but the air remained fresh, and clean, it smelled of sweet herbs.
Yalda drew a deep breath, breathing in the scents into her lungs, she could smell the rosemary and lavender growing in neatly edged beds. The stone pathways which had been warmed by the afternoon sun radiated a gentle, comforting heat which kissed Yalda's bare legs.
She hadn't realized how confined she felt till she stepped out, it was only now that she was truly beginning to breathe and get some air Moving outside and feeling the breeze ruffle through her hair provided an instant sense of release. She walked beside Ioannis, and her legs didn't feel so heavy anymore with every step.
Ioannis hadn't said anything for a while and Yalda decided to speak first.
"How have you been?" she asked, it was a question she hadn't properly asked since she got here. It had been about her all through and she wanted to change that, she wanted to know he was alright. "How has work been?"
Ioannis blew out a breath lightly.
"Work has been fine. It’s always fine. Numbers go up, people do as they're told, the routine rolls on." He replied simply, his tone lacked any enthusiasm for the topic. "And I have been on autopilot."
Yalda brow arched questioningly at the last part.
"You left, and you took the life out of me, leaving behind a robot." He elaborated. "I’m fine now though. You’re back after all."
His honesty was like a physical blow. The ease with which he admitted his reliance on her was almost too heavy to carry. Guilt stirred once more, she'd left him, and it had had an impact on him all this time, but yet here he was, still supporting her, still looking after her and loving her.
She didn't dwell on it though, she tried not to. She only reached for his hand and wrapped her cool fingers around his warmer ones. He wasted no time in holding her hand and giving it a reassuring aqueeze.
"How are your parents?" she asked, pivoting the conversation away from the painful one. "Still traveling?"
"Yes. In Egypt," he confirmed. "Vacationing in Alexandria."
Yalda smiles faintly as she recalled her encounter with them, how difficult they'd been at first. She had a feeling all the progress she'd made with them was lost now.
They reached a quiet corner of the garden, shaded by a large apple tree. They settled down on a long, wrought-iron bench, padded with soft linen cushions as the silence began returning, this time it wasn't awkward though.
Ioannis was keen in his observation of her as always, he glanced at her exposed legs then at the sky which was darkening now, the temperature was dropping.
"Are you cold?" he asked, his voice low.
And it was only then Yalda realized the grounds were no longer radiating warmth, and she was indeed getting cold.
"A bit," she admitted, rubbing her arms through the sleeves of her shirt. The breeze carried a subtle dampness from the sea. "The air is beautiful, though."
"We should head back inside then," he suggested.
She shook her head almost immediately.
"No. Not yet," she said quickly. She didn't want to return to the confines of the house just yet.
Ioannis understood instantly, and he didn't push. He shifted on the bench, turning his body toward her, he reached out and gently guided her to lean against him for warmth.
"Okay," he murmured, his voice rumbling against her hair. "We'll come here more often."
And she was grateful for that. Ioannis was genuinely so sweet, he was so sweet that she felt undeserving of him at times.
She settled in, sighing softly as the warmth from his body enveloped her. It was a simple comfort which meant a lot to her. His hand rose, reaching for her hair, he began to run his fingers through the soft strands gently.
They remained like that for several minutes, anchored in the moment, watching the distant lights fading slowly.
"What's on your mind?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, the sound vibrating through her hair.
She pulled away slightly, just enough to look up at him. "I was thinking about Alexander." She admitted quietly.
Ioannis didn't stiffen or withdraw, he simply nodded, his fingers resting patiently in her hair. "Tell me."
She let out a breath and her shoulders as she let her thoughts wander back to Alexander; the exhaustion in his eyes which was usually masked by sharpness, the paleness of his skin which he managed to make look good with all the dark colors he wore, everything about him had been so carefully masked and she hadn't noticed.
"I was thinking about how well he hid it," she said, the words heavy with self-reproach. "How completely unaware I was that he was struggling. I never noticed he was unwell. Maybe if I had known… if I had paid more attention, maybe things would have been different."
She lowered her gaze from his sadly. "Maybe I could have helped him."
Ioannis blew out a breath, a sound that carried a lifetime of cynical male experience. He pulled her closer again, tucking her forehead beneath his chin.
"Yalda, listen to me," he said, his voice firm. "Men are like that. Especially men like him, and men like me."
He tightened his arm around her. "We are raised to be the pillar, the fortress. We are taught that to admit weakness is to fail our family, to fail the woman we love. When things are difficult, our default position is to absorb the pain, to protect you from the trouble."
And Yalda felt her throat clench. She knew that, but it was so sad that they had to bare the trouble all on their own, it was so sad that they couldn't ask for a hug when they needed one.
He paused, choosing his words carefully. "Alexander wanted you to be at peace, Yalda. He didn't want to trouble you with his own problems. He saw himself as your shield. He believed that his burden was his alone to carry, so that your life could remain safe and beautiful."
Yalda blinked tears she didn't realize he been lurking went slipping down her cheeks.
"He wanted you to be at peace then," Ioannis said, his voice softening. "And he would want you to be at peace now."
Yalda nodded, resting her cheek against the fabric of his polo shirt. It was all she could do, all she needed to do. She wrapped her arms around him, hugging him the best she could, trying her possible best to give him the comfort he wouldn't ask for.
They remained in the garden for half quarter an hour, Ioannis felt her shiver slightly against his chest as the temperature dropped completely and the sun set.
"Okay, baby," he murmured, gently stroking the top of her head one last time. "It’s time to head back. Let's go inside and get some warmth."
He stood, pulling her up with him carefully. He kept his arm securely around her shoulders as they walked back towards the villa.
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