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Of course, regardless of how Yalda felt, regardless of all that had happened the previous day, she was obligated to turn in for work. She had gotten ready quickly and had headed to the office while trying her possible best to not let herself look like she was falling apart.
The usual greetings and pleasantries she normally exchanged with her colleagues were done absentmindedly as she made her way to the elevator, and as it took her up and closer to Alexander's office, her heart became even heavier and more painful.
She couldn't begin to even think of facing him, of talking to him, of looking at him. She couldn't even blame him for anything because she had known all along that he could never be what she wanted him to be, yet she had gone ahead to let her feelings get involed.
Tears was already beginning to sting her eyes when the elevator pinged and opened smoothly, she blinked a couple of times to clear her tears-blurred vision before dragging in a deep breath to calm herself. She stepped out with as much confidence as she could and headed to her desk.
Now that she had foolishly let herself breakdown and bare her heart to Alexander, she found herself not sure about what to do next or where to go from here. She set her things down on her desk before heading to Alexander's office.
Reaching out, she opened the door and stepped in, and she wasn't surprised that her hand had began trembling slightly. Her gaze flickered to his desk and she found him seated there as always. His gaze snapped to hers immediately and her heart clenched once more as she recalled last night all over again.
"What are you doing here? Did I really need to tell you to stay home and get some rest?" He asked. He didn't seem irritated, rather, he seemed exasperated.
"Will you be needing anything, sir?" She asked him. Her clipped tone told him that she wanted to be away from him as fast as she could.
He stared at her deeply, and though she had make up on, she knew he'd be able to tell she had eyebags from having cried so much last night.
"Yalda, go home and get some rest. Sara will fill in for you today." He told her.
"I don't need to rest..." She began saying but he cut in smoothly.
"I wasn't asking, Yalda."
She stood there a for a moment as she deliberated on what to do, on where to go from here. She obviously couldn't go home because she'd end up overthinking and having a breakdown again. She needed to distract herself, she needed any form of distraction.
Saying nothing, she nodded though her throat clenched painfully. She turned around to leave when he said her name, he barely spoke up, perhaps he hadn't thought she'd hear him, perhaps he hadn't wanted her to.
She turned around to face him once more, her vision had once again become blurry from the tears welling up in her eyes. He leaned back into his seat and the look in his eyes seemed almost conflicted as he stared at her.
"I'm a selfish person, you know that very much." He began. But she wanted to hear nothing of what he had to say. She began shaking her head when he spoke again. "I'm willing to pretend to be whatever you need right now."
"What?" The disbelief was evident in her tone.
Did he really think so little of her feelings? Did he think that having him pretend to love her was what she needed?
"Listen to me." He said, ordered. And she bit her tongue to hold back all she wanted to say. "I intend to visit my island for a week or two, and I want you to come with me. We'll be away from everything and everyone that would judge us."
What was he saying? She wanted to ask but she found herself unable to speak as she stood there staring at him while trying so hard to understand him.
"There, I could try to be the way you want me to be." He told her. "And perhaps when our time there is over, you would have realized that I'm truly not what you want."
She lowered her gaze from his as she uncertainly contemplated what her response would be. She could choose to decline his offer, and she'd probably spend the next week or two crying from the ache in her heart, or she could simply give in to his manipulation like always and let him make her feel better.
"Why are you doing this?" She asked him quietly.
He swiveled in his seat slowly, all the while, his gaze remained fixed on her face.
"Because, Yalda, I am selfish, and I need you." He replied honestly. "I need to find a way to fix things."
Of course. Had she expected him to tell her he was doing it because he cared about her? Because he valued her? Even she wasn't that stupid, she wasn't that naive.
She dragged in a shuddering breath before nodding once.
His lips curved his a faint smirk as he continued to swivel his seat slowly.
"Smart girl." He commended her decision. "Go home, get some rest, pack a suitcase; we leave tomorrow."
Saying nothing, she nodded before turning around and walking out quietly. She closed the door behind her, and she stood there for a moment as she tried to breathe. Her heart hammered against her heart heavily and her hands trembled as her palms perspired.
She dragged in yet another breath to calm herself. The fact that she was so anxious about the whole thing baffled her. She had been so sure she hd seen it all, she had been so sure she'd never feel so anxious and uneasy about anything regarding Alexander again, she had been so sure she was past all that, yet here she was.
She felt young again, she like she had just met Alexander, she felt like she was just getting to know him all over again, just that this time around, she knew just what she was getting herself into.
Blinking quickly, she once again cleared the tears from around before she walked over to her desk and picked up her stuff. She stood there for a moment as she tried to calm her nerves considerably before she headed out.
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