NINETY-EIGHT
She retched, and retched, and retched. And when she was completely breathless, she crumbled to the floor exhaustedly. Yalda had returned to her room; her heart had pounded so much and her body had trembled badly as she sat there trying to get over what Ioannis had said to her. Unable to take anymore of the anxiety, she had rushed to the bathroom and had begun throwing up.
Pulling her knees against her chest, she buried her face against them as she sobbed quietly. Her body continued to tremble and her heart continued to pound, all that changed was the nausea that had troubled her so much. She wasn’t sure which was better, the fact that she had managed to think about something other than her obsession for Alexander, or the fact that what she was thinking about was just as unsettling.
She felt raw, exposed; she felt like she was completely bare. He had so easily picked her mind; he had so easily gotten into her head. His words kept replaying themselves in her mind, his offer. She couldn’t get over it, she couldn’t get over the fact that he wanted to fix her, she couldn’t get over the fact that he had seemed so confident when offering to guide her, to fix her.
It had been what, three days? She had only just met him and she couldn’t stop thinking about him. She knew the reason was because she was broken, desperate, she was unsure of what she wanted or what she needed.
‘You’ve had enough of men for a lifetime.’ She had told herself. ‘You don’t need any more you can’t take any more.’
Yet it seemed as though only a man could save her from her dilemma. She had even gone ahead to tell herself that everything was in her head; that all the pain, the hurt, everything that ached her was in her head. She had told herself that she only needed to let go of it to feel better.
The tiled floors were cold, too cold, they forced her to pull herself together, get clean, and return to bed. Pulling the warm covers over the exhausted body, she shut her eyes hoping she’d fall asleep soon, hoping her thoughts wouldn’t keep her awake like they always did, hoping she wouldn’t stay awake all night.
She wasn’t sure for how long she lay there, all she knew was that every second was unsettling, torturous, every second had her wishing she could rip her chest open and drag out her heart just to be free of the ache it bore. Unable to stop herself, she sat upright and turned on the lamp on the nightstand, she picked up her phone as well as the dark brown business card she had been ignoring till now.
Her hands trembled as she tapped in his number, and her breath faltered as she dialed the number. She held the phone against her ear, and her heart thudded nosily against her chest with every ring. She considered ending the call and turning off her phone when he didn’t answer on the fifth ring, but then, she reminded herself that it was late and he had probably retired for the night.
However, the automated ringing stopped and her breath hitched as he spoke.
“Hello.”
She felt like a bucket of cold water had been poured on her, she felt totally frozen; unable to move, unable to blink. What had she done?
“Hello?” He said again. “Who is this?”
She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat before forcing herself to respond.
“It’s me.” She replied though her voice was almost nonexistent.
A short moment of silence stretched before he spoke again.
“Yalda?” He asked.
And she nodded though he couldn’t see her.
“Yeah.”
“It’s quite late, why aren’t you sleeping?” He asked her.
How could she possibly sleep when her mind was a mess? How could she sleep when she was a mess?
“I can’t sleep.” She replied.
“Are you crying?” he asked.
It was only then she realized she had tears streaming down her cheeks freely. She tried to breathe but she ended up sniffling quietly.
“No.” She lied.
“Don’t lie to me, Yalda.” He said.
She cleared her throat quietly before shaking her head. What was she doing? Why was she calling him at this hour? Had she finally lost her mind?
“I’m sorry for bothering you.” She said immediately. “I…I shouldn’t have.”
She began lowering the phone from her ear when he spoke.
“Do you want me to come get you, Yalda?” He asked her.
A rather bold offer, but it was exactly what she needed right now. She hadn’t even known why she had called him; she hadn’t been sure about what she had been expecting when she had called him, she hadn’t even thought it through before calling him, yet he made her realize what she needed.
A shuddering breath left her as she forced herself to nod.
“Please.” She replied quietly, she was really crying now.
“Alright. I’ll come get you shortly, hang in there.” He told her. “Okay?”
She nodded once more but of course he couldn’t see her, thus, she forced herself to speak.
“Okay.” She croaked.
With that being settled, the line went dead.
She sat there for a moment, not quite sure what to do next, not believing she had actually just done that. But then, she had pulled herself together, threw on the rob of her night dress with trembling hands, and scooped a sleeping Loki into her arms as she waited anxiously for him to come get her. She tried to stop the tears from leaving her eyes as she sat there, she tried to pull herself together, to calm herself, but it seemed impossible.
Her breath hitched once more on hearing a subtle knock on the door. She stood up, made her way to the door, and opened it. He stood there looking like everything she wasn’t; calm, in control, perfect. His eyes raked over her quickly and they softened on seeing how much of a mess she was.
“Can I bring him with me?” she asked referring to Loki.
What sanity she had left screamed for her to snap out of this. There were so many things that could go wrong with him; what if he was a psychopath? What if he wanted to hurt her? What if he was a serial killer?
“Of course.” He replied.
She nodded once, it was all she could do. She couldn’t think, she couldn’t care.
“Come on.” He said as he stepped aside and gestured for her to pass.
She stepped out of her room and closed the door behind her quietly. He put his arm around her as they began walking down the hallway towards a private elevator, all the while, her heart continued to beat erratically.
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