Book 2 Chapter 11
She did not want him to stop, her rational mind was already retreating, but her body was begging for this oblivion. Ioannis always had this effect on her, he had a way of drawing her in till she wanted nothing but the comfort he brought.
Ioannis understood the gravity of her response, he hadn't heard desire in it; he heard desperation, raw desperation. He knew this wasn't about mutual pleasure in the traditional sense, it was about therapy through sensation. They'd done this before and she's healed gradually, and he'd do it again to pull her back from the abyss.
He did not rush though, his hand which had frozen on her abdomen resumed its movement slowly, but the intent had fundamentally changed. The circular rubbing had became overtly sensual, he pressed his palm flat against her lower stomach, tracing the curve of her belly causing Yalda's breath to falter.
He shifted his body, moving closer so there was no space between them at all, till her back was pressed against his chest firmly. He tucked her back tightly against his chest so his warmth envelopes her. He buried his face in the crook of her shoulder, inhaling the scent of her skin like his life depended on it.
With his left arm anchored around her waist, he used his right hand to continue his rubbing her belly. Slowly, his fingers slipped lower till they reached the waistband of the silk panties she had on, he felt her squirm against him and he planted a lingering kiss on the side of her neck before he nudged the silk aside. His fingers slid past the elastic in search of her wetness.
Yalda gasped but the sound muffled against the pillow. Her folds were completely slick and his fingers were there to feel all the wetness, they found her clit instantly. He began to rub, applying a precise pressure that made her head fall back in pleasure.
"You like that?" He said against her neck.
But Yalda couldn't bring herself to speak, she only forces herself to nod.
He continued to rub her till she began squirming even more against him, but his chest pressed against her back meant she couldn't move, she couldn't run from the overwhelming sensation. Her hips pushed back instinctively against his fingers, seeking to deepen the friction, even as her mind struggled to hold onto its desolving composure.
"Breathe, Yalda," he whispered into her ear.
The bedroom which had been quiet a moment ago was now filled with the sound of her moans and heavy breathing. The pleasure was so intense, so singularly focused on making her come undone.
His fingers worked with a steady rhythm which pulled her further and further away from logic, guilt, and everything else. The wetness coating his fingers enhanced the friction. She was getting so close, her legs were trembling and she was gripping his hand so tightly.
"Let it go, agápi mou," Ioannis encouraged. "Just let everything go."
At this point, Yalda couldn't speak, she could only gasp his name before the sensation detonated. Her body arched against him as every muscle tightened, drawing from her a guttural cry. Her hips buckled and jerked as pleasure washed over her in waves till it subsided.
"Ioannis..." She moaned breathlessly as she came down from her high.
He kissed her neck slowly before blowing cool air on her skin to calm her.
But the orgasm hadn't brought peace, it had only distracted her to a moment but everything came flooding back. It overwhelmed her. She lay still for a moment before the tears began stinging the back of her eyes and rolling down her cheeks. It was just tears at first, but then her body began to shake with subdued sobs.
Ioannis felt the tremor run through her body, he recognized the immediate shift in her state. He gently withdrew his hand from her underwear and pulled her even closer against his chest.
"Yalda," he murmured, he tried to keep his voice tender though his own body was rigid with aching desire. "Do you want me to stop now? I will stop, you have nothing to worry about."
She shook her head against his shoulder. Her breathing was ragged, torn by suppressed sobs.
"No," she managed, the word thick with tears. "Please don't."
Her body hadn't had enough yet. The first orgasm had been necessary, but she needed more, she needed him to fuck her till she couldn't think, till she was numb and too exhausted to lift a finger.
Ioannis bit back a groan, he was torn at the moment. Her tears were an ache to him at this point, it complicated things. He knew how she felt at the moment, he understood her, and he understood the guilt and also the longing, as he knew that if he stopped now she'd feel abandoned and humiliated.
He decided to fuck it. He loved her, and he was going to make her feel better.
He pushed the covers off them and discarded their clothes so skin met skin. He shifted, turning her to face him so he could wipe the tears from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. He was already hard, painfully so.
"I love you. You know that right?" He asked her as he settled himself between her heated thighs. She nodded, and he crashed his lips onto hers in a deep kiss which left her completely breathless before he broke it. "Ready?"
Yalda could feel his hardness throbbing against her slick entrance, she could feel it waiting to impale her and fill her up completely. She nodded once more, it was all she could do.
And with that, he pushed into her, not stopping till he was completely buried in her depth.
Yalda gasped, the sound was a mixture of pain, surprise, and pleasure. She'd almost forgotten how he felt inside her.
"All good?" He asked, his was was lower now, much deeper, much more sensual.
She forced herself to nod once more.
"Good, stay with me." He said.
He began to move slowly, his focus was fixed on maximizing the sensation and minimizing the emotional damage. His gaze flickered to her hand which was gripping his arm tightly before returning to her face, her lips were parted in pleasure and her temple was creased, and she had tears running down her cheeks.
Yalda couldn't stop crying. She was so overwhelmed at the moment, she couldn't even help herself. Ioannis held her face in his hand, maintaining eye contact whenever he could, whispering a continuous stream of affirmations.
"Calm down, Yalda. Breathei." He soothed.
He kissed her tears, tasting the salt. His pace increased and the room was filled with the urgent sound of skin slapping against skin echoing and her breathless screams.
"You'll be fine," he said against her lips as he pulled his hips back and drove deep again, hitting the spot that made her cry out his name again. "Yes baby, focus on just this, don't think about anything else."
Yalda clung to his words as tightly as she clung to his arm for support. She let herself feel everything till she was crying and moaning incoherently.
"I love you," he whispered against her neck.
His pace didn't relent, the momentum became relentless, Yalda started panting, the entirety of her was shaking with pleasure Her muscles tightened around him and he groaned. He drove into her one last time but they both shattered.
They came together, she clenched around him again and again as he emptied himself inside her completely while gripping her hip tightly.
Ioannis collapsed onto her, he made sure to not put all of his weight on her. Their bodies were slick with sweat but neither of them minded. He did not move for a long time, and when his breathing finally eased, he pulled out and gently rolled onto his side, taking Yalda with him.
He gathered her tightly in his arms, her head tucked beneath his chin. He didn't speak. Instead, he began to rub her back in a slow and continuous that chased away the last traces of tears, anxiety, and guilt.
Yalda’s sobs subsided into quiet, deep breaths. She was depleted, completely blank. Ioannis held her until the rhythm of her breathing evened out, until he knew she was asleep.