FORTY-TWO

Yalda wasn’t supposed to have fallen under normal circumstances; she was completely shaken, plus her mind and heart were a mess. But something about Alexanders words, something about his threat had her pushing everything and falling asleep. She had felt like a child being forced to nap but there had been absolutely nothing she could have done about it.

And in the dark hospital room, in the quiet of the night, she kept tossing and turning in bed while being plagued by a nightmare. All the while, Alexander watched quietly as he contemplated whether or not to wake her. Perhaps she wasn’t having a nightmare; perhaps she was just uncomfortable.

Meanwhile, in her sleep, Yalda was struggling to escape from a burning house. There was smoke and fire all around her and she was stuck, almost as though she was completely rooted to where she stood. Her heart was pounding erratically and she was completely breathless. Her head whipped around frantically as she searched for a route of escape.

Having had enough of her restlessness, Alexander abandoned his spot on the couch and walked up to the bed. He crouched down beside it before gently brushing her hair from her face, he realized at once that she was burning up. He had seen this coming; over the last couple of days, she hadn’t been herself and he had noticed a bit of self-neglect, and he had tried his possible best to check up on her and ensure that she was fine, but Yalda would always be Yalda; she’d always be so stubborn.

“Yalda.” He said her name as he caressed her cheek to wake her.

And as though his voice was what she needed, her eyes sprang open and she jerked upright at once while breathing heavily and whimpering. He wasted no time in moving onto the bed and guiding her trembling body into his arms for a hug.

“It’s alright. It was just a nightmare.” He tried to calm her as he soothingly combed his fingers through her hair. “You’re alright.”

It took Yalda a moment to realize that it had indeed been a nightmare, that she wasn’t actually trapped in a burning house. Her heart continued to pound heavily and her body continued to tremble as she tried to calm herself and normalize her breathing. It took a moment for her to realize that she was in Alexander’s arms sobbing her eyes out; it took a moment for her to realized that he had returned after she had fallen asleep, he had…..stayed.

She felt almost stupid for having thought otherwise; he always came back or came through, and he always stayed. Her mind drifted back to the day of her graduation from college, she had told him over the phone about her graduation and he had asked how she intended to celebrate. Of course, she had no plans because her acquaintances were all engaged with themselves and their families, she had told him and he had simply told her not to worry about it.

“I’ll get you whatever you want when I get back.” He had said.

And though she had tried to put on a smile and go around pretending she was happy on her graduation; she couldn’t deny that she felt empty and despondent. Everyone had been celebrating with their friends and families, and she had simply sat there looking lost until she had sighted him stepping out of his car dressed regally in a grey suit; he was obviously just coming from the airport.

She had abandoned her seat in and had hurried up to him and he had hugged and congratulated her; it was an event she would never forget. And here he was now, hugging her and comforting her when she thought he had left.

“It’s alright.” His voice snapped her out of her reverie.

Yes, yes she wasn’t trapped in a burning house, but she truly didn’t feel alright, she wasn’t alright. She had thought about Nadia Joseph so much that she had ended up messing her mind up to the point of having a nightmare about how she had died.

“I’m losing my mind.” She cried quietly, her voice barely a whisper. “I’m losing my mind.”

He backed away from her slightly so he could look down at her tears-stained face.

“You’re having a fever.” He told her. “I’ll call on the nurses.”

She shook her head. She didn’t care about the fever, and neither did she care about what the nurses were going to do when they got here, all she knew was that she was truly losing her mind. And the fact that he had shut down and threatened to have her sedated bothered her deeply; he had revealed an intimidating and scary side of him she had never seen before, yet here she was finding comfort in his arms.

“No, I’m losing my mind.” She cried quietly.

He brushed her hair from her face before wiping off her tears gently.

“Calm down.” He said to her.

She shook her head.

“Leave me alone.” She cried. His toxicity was getting too much to handle now; it was truly killing her now. “Just leave me alone.”

She couldn’t control herself at this point, she felt sick to her bones, she felt like she was dying. And here she was crying in the dark as though it would help her.

“Yalda…”

“Don’t talk to me, please.” She cried as she backed away from him as though the proximity suddenly burnt her. “Leave me alone.”

“Yalda, listen to me.” He said as he reached out in an attempt to touch her.

She flinched away from his touch immediately. She had never been upset with him than she was right now. Having had enough of it all, he reached out once more, and though she tried to push him away, he grabbed her wrist and pulled her against his chest for a firm hug.

“I’m sorry.” He said against her hair. “I’m sorry. Calm down, please.”

She weakly struggled to free herself but there was only so much she could do. Betrayed by her body and left with no other option, she tiredly leaned her had against his chest.

“I know you’re upset; I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that and I’m sorry.” He said to her. “But I really need you to calm down and work with me.”

She sniffled quietly as she tried to pull herself together but more tears continued to streak down her face.

“I’ll turn on the lights, and I’ll call on the nurse to check on you.” He explained, his voice was calm and soothing. “You’ll be fine, I promise.”

She forced herself to nod, it was all she could do. The steady beating of his heart against his chest calmed her as did his cologne, and she probably would have fallen asleep right there if her body wasn’t trembling from a fever. She let her eyes flutter close tiredly as he reached out and flicked the bedside lamp on so it expelled the darkness.

“I’m sorry.” He said before planting a light kiss on her head. He rubbed her back a couple of times before releasing her and backing away from her slowly. “Are you with me?”

She nodded once more.

“Good. I’ll be back shortly.” He told er as he offered her hand a gentle squeeze before rising to his feet.

And nothing was said as he made his way to the door, but then, she spoke just as he was about to open it.

“Why did you come back?” She asked him quietly.

He didn’t turn around to look at her before responding:

“How could I stay away?”