FORTY-FOUR

“Call me if you need anything.”

Those had been Alexander’s words to her before he left her apartment that afternoon. Left alone, she had sat in her living room staring blankly at nothing in particular as the emptiness sought to consume her. Yes, she had wanted to be alone, but actually being alone in her quiet apartment made her feel despondent.

Reflecting on the last couple of days, she realized that she had made a lot of decisions she was particularly proud of, she realized she hadn’t quite been herself. She didn’t need to think too much to know why she had been that way; it had stemmed from her desperation for love and recognition from a man who would never recognize her any more than he already.

She was exhausted, very exhausted, perhaps even too exhausted.

Blowing out a heavy breath, she picked up her phone to scroll through her Instagram; somehow, it always managed to numb her brain, to chase every thought out of her mind for a while. Her tired eyes stared unblinkingly as she scrolled aimlessly, there was nothing new, there was never anything new and that was precisely why she always came; the predictability of it all made her feel a little in control, made her calm knowing nothing sudden could pop up.

Or perhaps not….

Her scrolling thumb stilled at once as a video of the cutest Pomeranian she had ever seen popped up. She was surprised as to watching the little dog run around playfully calmed her significantly, she wasn’t sure if it was its fur, it’s tail or simply it’s size that made her adore it so much. Her thumb tapped on the replay button again and again until an idea suddenly popped up….

She wanted a Pomeranian.

She definitely wasn’t a pet person but she needed something to divert her thoughts, she needed a means to channel her energy positively, she needed her house to feel a bit more….alive. She tapped on her phone quickly and it wasn’t long before she was dialing Carl’s number.

She held the phone against her ear once he picked up.

“Good afternoon, Ms. Harris.” He greeted on answering.

“Good afternoon, Carl.” She replied. “I’m sorry about calling so abruptly. But I’d like to go somewhere and I’m in no position to drive.”

“it’s no problem at all.” Carl said immediately. She could almost picture him shaking his head. “When and where shall I pick you up?”

“From my apartment in ten minutes, thank you.” She replied.

“Alright, I’ll be there in ten minutes.” He said.

And with that, she lowered the phone from her ear and disconnected the call.


….

It happened all too quickly, one moment she had been seated in her living room feeling despondent, and the next, she had been in a pet store adoring cute animals. Like a blur, she had returned with brown Pomeranian and everything it needed. For the first time in a long time, she had been impulsive and she loved how it felt.

“What are you going to name him?” Carl had asked her. Like her, he had been instantly captivated by the little guy.

“Loki.” She replied. She hadn’t thought it through at all, the name had just popped up and she realized she liked it too.

“He’ll be a mischievous one.” Carl had said humorously and thy had laughed about it.

A staff from the pet store had been kind enough to follow her back to her apartment and set up all that was needed for Loki, and when she was finally left alone with the friendly little fellow, she realized she felt a lot better; she felt lighter, accomplished, she was happy.

“You’re so cute.” She cooed as she rubbed the back of Loki’s ear. “So very cute.”

She couldn’t believe she had actually just cooed at a dog; she was Yalda Harris, she didn’t normally do such things. But she normally wasn’t always this excited about something either. She found herself dialing Riley’s number because she just had to share the news with someone, she just had to tell someone how great she was feeling right now.

Her eyes lit up even more when Riley’s cheery voice replaced the monotonous robotic ringing.

“Heyyy girl.” Riley’s enthusiastic voice rang out.

“Hi!” She responded excitedly.

Her excitement seemed to be contagious because the pace of Loki’s wagging tail increased and he stuck his tongue out as he breathed noisily. She couldn’t help but laugh

“What’s up? You sound excited.” Riley asked eagerly.

“I got a dog!” She replied. She was so happy about it that she felt tears sting the back of her eyes. “He’s so cute and friendly; he likes me very much.”

“Girl, I definitely hadn’t expected that but it’s wonderful news!” Riley almost screamed. “I’m so happy for you! What’s his name? Can you send me a picture of him? My goodness, I’m so glad.”

Yalda nodded quickly though she couldn’t see her.

“He’s name is Loki.” She replied. “I’ll definitely send you a picture.”

“You better! I truly can’t tell you just how happy I am for you; you sound so happy.” Riley said.

She was happy. Something as little as getting a dog made her so happy when she had been depressed and losing her mind. She could only hope that her euphoria lasted though, she could only hope it would last long enough to keep her afloat until she sorted things out with Alexander.

Tomorrow was Monday and she intended to go to work regardless of the fact that she knew he would strongly be against it, but she couldn’t bear the thought of being couped up in her apartment tomorrow when she could go to work and try to sort some things out while making it clear that she wouldn’t let him control her life if he wasn’t at least going to tell her about his.

“I am happy.” She replied though the enthusiasm in her voice wasn’t quite as ringing as before.

“That’s really good to know.” Riley said. “I’m sure parker’s gonna love him!”

Parker? She had almost forgotten that Riley had a kid, and she couldn’t help but feel a little….stupid. She was celebrating getting a dog when her peers were already parents. She shoved the though aside as she cleared her throat quietly.

“You should definitely stop by my place sometime, it’ll be fun.” She told her.

“That would be lovely!” Riley replied excitedly. “Oh dear, I gotta go, Dave needs me.”

She nodded once more as slight disappointment stabbed at her heart. Riley was so accomplished; she was married with a kid, and she seemed genuinely happy about her life.

“Thanks for your time. You’re the best.” She said to her.

“Pfft. I love you, girl. Laters.”

She smiled as the line went dead, and she lowered the phone from her ear and took a quick picture of Loki which she sent to Riley.

“Looks like it’s me and you now, buddy.” She said to Loki who was still excitedly wagging his tail. “Come, I’ll give you a tour of my apartment.”

And with that being said, she scooped him up into her arms and made her way out of the living room.