Book 2 Chapter 34

Since Maria arrived, Yalda had merely been floating around the house with Loki, Ioannis was way too occupied with Maria to notice she hadn't been around him much. He'd been making appointments with doctors, therapists, nutritionist and everyone else Maria needed.

Yalda crouched near the entrance of the living room, half-hidden by the wall as she gently stroked Loki’s soft fur. The Pomeranian rubbed against her hand, his warm body pressed into her palm like he sensed the tension thickening the air. She exhaled shakily through her nose. It was ridiculous to be hiding by a doorway in, but she couldn't shake the tightness in her chest since Mariah’s arrival.

Now make than ever, she felt like an intruder.

Voices floated from the living room; Alina’s soft and gentle, Ioannis’s low and calm, and Mariah’s fragile and quivering.

Yalda swallowed, Mariah sounded like she was about to faint really, she was crying and speaking in mostly Greek, and Yalda couldn't hear almost all of what was being said, it'd been hours since Mariah arrived and she felt like she'd been saying the same thing, or did the foreign words just sound the same?

Loki nudged her hand again, sensing her spiraling thoughts, and Yalda forced herself to pet him.

In the living room, Alina reached for Mariah’s trembling hands, clutching tightly.

“Sweetheart, you’re going to be okay. We’re here, and you’re safe, do you understand me?”

Mariah sniffed, wiping at her red nose. “I just feel like I can’t breathe most days. Like I’m falling, and no one sees it. No one cares. I feel like I’m… disappearing.”

“Oh, darling,” Alina whispered, pulling her into another embrace. “You’re not disappearing from us. You’re here, we've got you. We're your family.”

Alina’s voice cracked slightly like she was trying so hard not to cry as well.

And Yalda wondered, for a brief, stupid moment, whether Alina had always wished Mariah back into their lives. Whether her kindness toward Yalda had simply been time-filling, convenient kindness. Perhaps it was an illusion that felt real until Mariah stepped back into the picture and everything shifted in ways Yalda couldn’t explain.

She shook her head. That was a ridiculous thought.

Alina had been good to her, too good. There was no indication she wished Yalda gone. But the thought still crawled under her skin.

In the absence of the desirable, the available becomes the desirable. So, what happens when the desirable become available?

What if she'd thought there'd been no hope of Maria coming back? And now that she was back, she was definitely relieved.

After a few minutes, Alina excused herself to fetch more tea. Mariah remained curled into the corner of the couch, her fingers twisting the blanket anxiously. Ioannis moved closer and lowered his voice.

“You've been crying for hours,” he murmured. “Please stop, you're going to make yourself sicker than you already are."

Yalda’s chest tightened painfully. She knew he meant well, of course he did, Ioannis was compassionate with everyone. But seeing him reassure Mariah with such tenderness made something inside Yalda tremble. Something she didn’t want to name.

Mariah lifted her eyes, they were swollen and glassy.

"I'm just so tired, Ioannis." She cried quietly. "I'm so pained."

He nodded.

"I understand. And I'm not judging for letting it all out, I'm just asking that you take it easy on yourself." He replied.

She dragged in a shuddering breath to calm herself before she nodded, still sniffling.

“What about Yalda?” her voice cracked. "I hope she doesn't mind me being here?"

Ioannis hesitated for a fraction of a second, but that slit of silence was enough to pierce Yalda’s chest.

“Yalda is wonderful company,” he finally replied. “I believe the two of you will get along. And she understands the situation. You don’t need to worry about her.”

Loki chose that exact moment to wriggle out of her hold and trot proudly into the living room.

“Loki,” Yalda groaned under her breath as she rose quickly to follow him, brushing dust from her knees.

She stepped into the room with a small smile fixed onto her face, the polite kind that didn’t reach her eyes.

Ioannis glanced up immediately, warmth flickering in his expression. Loki ran straight to him and hopped onto his lap like he usually did.

Mariah’s voice came, soft and weary.

“Yalda… I’m so sorry for showing up like this. I know it’s sudden. I just....” her voice cracked again, her eyes pooled with tears. “I hope I’m not… disrupting anything.”

Yalda’s heart twisted. Mariah sounded genuinely remorseful, genuinely fragile, and guilt washed over her; guilt that she had let jealousy sink its claws into her chest.

“No, please,” Yalda said quickly. “It’s really okay. I’m glad you’re here. I hope you can rest and feel better soon.”

Mariah nodded.

“Thank you,” she whispered. “Really. Thank you.”

“There’s no need to thank me,” Yalda murmured. This used to be her home after all, she had no reason to thank her when she was also staying here as a result of Ioannis's kindness.

Dinner followed an hour later.

Ioannis had suggested an early meal so Mariah could take her medication on time. The dining room felt heavier than usual, the air was thick with things unspoken and glances quickly diverted. Yalda kept glancing at Maria who was seated right opposite her, and Maria in turn kept glancing at her.

Yalda picked at her food quietly, forcing bites down although her appetite had deserted her long before the table was set. Ioannis sat at the head of the table, he also seemed to not be inclined towards eating.

After a few minutes, he spoke.

“You’re not eating.”

Yalda lifted her head automatically, thinking he was talking to her, only to realize he wasn’t looking at her. His eyes were on Mariah.

Her heart gave a painful, unexpected squeeze.

Mariah shook her head weakly. “I don’t have an appetite."

Ioannis’s brows knitted with concern.

“I can have Alina make something lighter. Broth or something.”

Yalda quietly set down her fork.

“I...excuse me. I’m full.” she said quietly.

Ioannis finally turned to her, surprise flickering briefly in his eyes. They normally left the dinning room together but Yalda could see that he had other matters to tend to this evening. She gave him a forced a small, polite smile.

Yalda rose carefully and picked up her plate, carrying it with her so Ioannis wouldn’t see she’d barely touched anything. Her throat felt tight, too tight, and she couldn’t trust her expression if she stayed a second longer.

She slipped out of the dining room quietly, the chair legs making the faintest scrape against the marble floor.

Loki padded after her, waghing his tail enthusiastically like he always did.

Once she reached the hallway, far enough that no one could see her expression, she leaned against the wall and inhaled deeply. Her chest still hurt, but she refused to let tears fall. Not now, not over something she couldn’t even articulate without sounding petty.

She was happy for Mariah to be safe, she wanted her to heal.

But something inside Yalda whispered that there was no longer enough space
left for her in the villa, not without feeling overshadowed by a woman Ioannis cared for in some unshakable way.
At His Mercy
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