SIXTY-FOUR

Yalda didn't stop walking until she got to her room and crawled into her bed tiredly. She didn't care that she still had her shoes on, or that her outfit was getting uncomfortable.

Loki had been loyal enough to stick with her; he hadn't waited back to pine for Alexander's attention. He's furry head leaning against her arm was comforting in a way.

She didn't bother looking at the door on hearing it open quietly, confident but quiet footsteps followed, and it wasn't long before she felt the bed dip as Alexander climbed in beside her.

"Are you alright?" His breath fanned her neck as he draped an arm over her to guide her closer so her back was flushed against his chest, engulfing her in his warmth as he hugged her.

"Leave." She croaked quietly.

She didn't want him holding her like this, she didn't want him acting like he cared, she didn't want him making her feel like her overthinking was the problem.

"How can I leave when you're like this?" He asked her.

She blinked and more tears left her sore eyes.

Was she supposed to thank him for being here? She had refused to go to the penthouse because she hadn't wanted to be around him, yet here he was.

"I told you I would be fine on my own." She said quietly.

He shook his head.

"You're not fine, Yalda." He pointed out. "Talk to me."

Well, at least he noticed that she wasn't fine, he just didn't think to notice that she was getting even worse because he was here.

"I don't want to."

She was crying all over again and she had to bite her lips to stiffle the sounds. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed silently. She felt like she was going to implode, she felt too much right now, too much.

"Please leave." She almost begged him.

He shook his head once more.

"I'm the reason you're like this, I know that much." He said. "I lost control earlier, and I apologize for that."

It wasn't about his apology, it wasn't about how thoroughly he had fucked her; it was about her feelings. It was about how helpless she felt, how defeated.

Unable to take anymore of his tenderness, she gently pried her arm from Loki before attempting to sit upright, she was glad Alexander didn't try to stop her. She climbed out of bed as quickly as he skirt would allow, and she hurried to the bathroom with the sole intention of locking herself in until he left.

However, he was faster than her. She felt strong arms encircle her waist from behind to stop her, and that was all it took for her to break down all over again.

"Stop it." Her tone was sharp as she spun around to face him. Her heart thumped heavily against her chest to the point that she felt almost faint. "I can't breathe, I'm losing my mind."

His gaze raked over her quickly as he took in her disheveled appearance, from her hair which she had repeatedly dragged her fingers through, to her eyes which sent streak of eyeliner running down her cheeks. She was clearly unravelling.

"Yalda, calm down." He tried to soothe her. "I am sorry. I'll do whatever I can to make it up to you. Tell me what you want."

His words did nothing to calm her, rather, they upset her even more. She chuckled, a dry and humorlessly sound which made her sound too much like him.

"I can't keep doing this; I can't pretend everything is fine simply because you apologize." She told him. "It's not about you or your apology, it's about me! It's about how I feel!"

Her body was trembling so much, one would think she was having a fever.

"You don't get to be like this; you don't get to manipulate me into thinking you give a fuck about me when all you care about is relieving yourself of your stress!" She bit out.

He stepped closer to her but she backed away quickly, sharply, as though the proximity would burn her.

"You're clearly upset. Perhaps you should take a moment to calm your mind." He said.

She shook her head. She would have simply cried herself to sleep and pulled herself together, but he just had to come here and make her lose what control she had left.

"If I could calm my mind, I wouldn't be crying my eyes out." She told him. She seemed almost helpless as she stood there staring into his eyes. "You think I want to be here crying about how I feel?"

He stepped forward again, but he didn't let her back away before he grabbed her arms to keep her in place. He could feel the immense trembling of her body, it was so pronounced that he began to worry about her health.

"It's not about me, I know." He said in hopes to calm her. "It's not about me. Talk to me, tell me everything and I'll listen to you."

She shook her head. She wasn't falling for that, she knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't actually listen to her, he'd only listen what he wanted to hear.

"I have tried talking to you. I've tried so hard." She cried. "You will never listen to me."

"Yalda, I will listen to you. I will listen to you, you have my word." He assured her.

She tried freeing herself from his hold but he didn't release her. She couldn't bare to watch him stare at her with those eyes of his, those deceiving eyes. She didn't want to let go so easily, she didn't want to go back to acting like everything was fine; he'd hurt her all over again.

"I was cruel to you, I know it. I understand that you feel abused, but I assure you, Yalda, I didn't mean to hurt you in any way." He said, his hold on her arms tightened as she struggled to free herself. "I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I will make it up to you, I promise."

He wanted to make it up to her? After breaking her down and rendering her helpless to the point that she couldn't even talk about her problems?

She dragged in a shuddering breath in a futile attempt to calm herself.

"I can't keep living like this." She told him as calmly as she could, her voice trembled still. "I can't do this anymore."

"What exactly?" He asked her.

He stared deeply into her eyes as though he sought to see through the tears to her very soul.

"This." She replied as she gestured around weakly. "I can't keep being everything you need when it hurts me so much."

She watched his eyes darken ever so slightly right before he shook his head.

"I'm afraid you'll have to elaborate, Yalda." He said, his tone wasn't so soothing anymore. "Tell me what you mean by that".

He wanted to pretend not to understand her now?

"I can't do this anymore." She told him.

A chuckle left him, one which was even more humorless than hers.

"I understand if you need a break from work and everything else. But you cannot quit." He told her. "You know that."

Her throat clenched tightly. He was only thinking about himself, as always. She felt like falling to her needs despondently. Did he think she wanted to leave him? Didn't he know that she couldn't live without him?

"I don't need a break, I just can't keep being your whore and then pretending that there's nothing between us." She told him. She was crying so much that she was getting breathless. "I can't do it anymore."