SIXTY-TWO
Yalda hadn't expected much from herself and her emotional strength, but she hadn't expected to break down in tears on returning to her apartment. The door had barely closed completely when she slid to the floor resignedly, her shoulders shook as she sobbed into her knees.
The ride back to her apartment had given her time to go over everything, and she realized that she once again felt a bit violated. Now, it wasn't the violation that made her feel so bad; it was the fact that she had loved every second of it.
She had relished in the pleasure her submission and misery brought him, she had once again let herself be reduced to nothing but a toy. The realization that she had completely lost herself scared and hurt her; she was a finished woman who was at the mercy of a sadist guised as a gentleman.
She sniffled quietly on feeling Loki's paws against her arm, followed by it's warm breaths and cold nose against her neck. Prying her face from her knees, she raised her head to face him.
Like always, he seemed really excited and she stared down at him as she wondered how it was possible that nothing ever bothered him.
Her phone pinged quietly from her bag and she sluggishly reached for it. She found Alexander's message displayed on the screen and just seeing his name made her heart ache so much.
'Are you alright?'
She stared at the words till they became magnified by the unspilled tears in her eyes, and when she blinked, the tears went falling on the dimming screen. She set the phone aside as her shoulders once again began trembling with sobs.
"I am not okay." She cried quietly. "I'm not alright."
Loki probably realized that she was having a hard time; he inched closer to her and simply lay down to keep her company. The company of a dog probably wasn't considered much, but at the moment, Yalda was immensely greatful for it.
She bit her lips to stiffle her sobs but it truly did nothing. Something about accepting that she truly wasn't alright made it difficult to control her tears.
The fact that Alexander was trying to check up on her didn't make her feel better at all; she wanted to be upset about the whole thing, she wanted to hate him, but yet her stupid heart made excuses for him.
He had been through a lot. This was his way of venting, of blowing off some steam. This was his way of getting better.
But was he truly getting better? Or was he just stuck like she was? It has been years and it seemed to her that his sadism was only increasing, or perhaps she only felt that way because she had stupidly gone ahead to develop feelings for him.
Her phone pinged once more but she didn't bother picking it up, but when it began ringing softly, she reached out and picked it up irritatedly. Riley's contact was displayed on the screen, and she contemplated whether or not she wanted to answer the call.
Her heart felt heavy, too heavy. It felt so heavy that she just needed to pour out her emotions regardless of the risks. She tapped on the answer icon just before the ringing came to an end.
"Hey girl!" Riley chirped.
"Riley." She replied quietly, her voice gave away the fact that she was crying.
"Yalda?" Riley asked in disbelief, her tone had sobered. "Are you crying? Goodness, are you alright?"
She shook her head though Riley couldn't see her.
"I'm not." She accepted out loud for the first time. "I'm not alright, Riley."
"Are you unwell? Are you hurt? What's wrong?" Riley asked all at once.
It was understandable that she'd be worried about her or even surprised since she had always claimed to be alright, she had always claimed to be living her dream life.
"I'm fine. I'm just not alright." She replied quietly.
"Want me to stop by your place? I'll come immediately." Riley offered.
And she nodded greatfully.
"Please." She croaked.
"I'll be there shortly." Riley promised. "Text me the address."
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