FORTY-NINE
Once again, it was all bright with the orange flames that roared all over the place, and Yalda felt trapped and suffocated as she tried her best to escape. The entire house was crumbling, and just as a large portion of the ceiling came falling directly towards her, her eyes snapped open and she jerked upright with a gasp.
“Yalda?” Alexander said her name as he also jerked upright, completely alarmed. He reached out and flicked on the bedside lamp. “What’s wrong?”
Her head whipped around hysterically as she tried to ascertain that she was fine, that it had just been a nightmare. Her heart pounded heavily against her chest and her breaths were short and erratic.
“It keeps coming back.” She cried quietly. “The nightmare.”
He wrapped his arms around her immediately and guided her against his chest for a comforting hug.
“Do you want to talk about it?” He asked her as he rubbed her back soothingly.
“There was fire everywhere.” She told him before thinking it through. And it was only when she felt him stiffen that she remembered she had only been having a nightmare about an event he had experienced first-hand. “I’m….i’m sorry.”
She tried backing away from him so she could look at his face but he didn’t let go of her.
“I’m so sorry.” She croaked quietly. “So very sorry.”
“Shhhh.” He hushed her. “Tell me about it”
How could she possibly tell him now? How could she tell him that she was suddenly so obsessed with Nadia that she was even having nightmares about her?
“I…I don’t want to talk about it.” She replied. She didn’t want to even imagine how pained he was to be suddenly reminded of a trauma.
“it’s alright.” He said simply. “Want to go back to sleep now?”
She nodded. She wasn’t sure she would fall asleep anytime soon, but she feared she had done enough; it was bad enough that she had disturbed his sleep, and then she had gone to remind him of how his family had tragically died.
He released her, and his gaze raked over her face as he took in her tear-stained cheeks. He brushed her hair from her face before wiping her tears off.
“Don’t think too much of it.” He told her. “It’s just a nightmare; it’s not real. Do you need some water?”
She shook her head.
She blinked and more tears left her eyes. It was nightmare to her, yes, but it had been real to him, and the fact that he was so composed right now awed her; how long had it taken him to be able to master such composure? How long had it taken him to perfect his façade of flawlessness?
He guided her back to gently return to the pillows before he drew the covers off her.
“Aren’t you going back to sleep?” She asked him when she realized he didn’t intend to lie down.
He shook his head.
“No. “He replied. “I have a thing or two to tend to, I’m glad you woke me up.”
She knew there wasn’t really anything he needed to do that couldn’t wait till morning, she knew him well enough to know that he was going to go to his study and sit alone while drinking some wine.
“It’s the middle of the night.” She told him.
“Precisely, that’s why you should go back to sleep.” He replied.
She shook her head.
“Please stay. I’m…. flustered.” She told him. She’d say pretty much anything to make him stay.
“You’ll be fine he told her.” He said. “Close your eyes and go to sleep.”
She held his hand to stop him when he began climbing off the bed and his gaze flickered back to her’s.
“You don’t have to leave.” She told him, her words heavy with meaning.
He stared down at her for a moment before shaking his head.
“I have to.” He said before gently prying his hand from hers. “Go back to sleep.”
And with that being said, he climbed off the bed, turned off the lamp, and walked away.
Lying there, she knew at once that she would also be needing therapy.
…
‘Run Alexander; you don’t need to see this’
Would he ever be able to get those words out of his head? Would he be able to forget?
Taking a sip of wine, he set the glass down before leaning back into his seat exhaustedly as he let himself think back to the unfortunate day; perhaps he should have listened to her, perhaps he should have ran, but he didn’t, and he had watched her fall. He still recalled how her eyes had lifelessly stared back at him as he had stood there rooted to the floor while the flames continued to spread.
Of course, had someone not grabbed him and dragged him out, he would have suffered the same fate. He reached for his wine glass again and he realized his hand was trembling badly, he decided to let it be.
Yalda had insisted that he stayed with her, if only she knew what had been going on in his head. She hadn’t reminded him of his trauma, no; he hadn’t forgotten in the first place, how could he forget when he had been dreaming of it like he always did? He had just been taken aback that she had also been having a nightmare about a fire outbreak, and he had realized then and there that she had read the article of how his parents had died; how Nadia had died.
He knew that digging into his past would do her no good, but she was bound to find out eventually; he wasn’t responsible for what she had found out about him.
Blowing out a heavy breath, he reached out, picked up his phone and tapped on it. The screen came on and he found a notification of Maya Blackwood’s message displayed on it like always, he tapped on it to open it.
‘I think Ryan is onto us.’
So, she was just beginning to suspect that her husband’s son knew of their relationship? Was she truly that stupid or was she just trying to piss him off? He exited her message and returned his phone to the desk, it was 4:34am and he was here, seated alone, trapped and unable to move on from all that plagued him. It was another night spent thinking about his past.
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