Chapter 145
Julian
I woke up first. The dim light trailing through the gap in the drapes to fall on our faces. It was the light that had woken me up. And if I wasn’t careful it would wake her up as well.
Sifting Cassie from my place resting against my shoulder, I settled her carefully back down. My thumb smoothing across her soft cheek.
I felt closer to her than ever before. Talking last night, without any other motive but to try and understand her , had done something to our dynamic.
What we had between us wasn’t just physical. That had always been there. Mixed in with the fact that we felt we hated each other.
No, that wasn’t right. I had never hated Cassie. I had just got mixed up with what I was feeling. The spell, or whatever had been put on us had jumbled up our feelings until I thought it was hate.
How could I hate something so perfect for me? Cassie was strong, a warrior and a healer. She was far to good for me and we both knew it.
I had been nothing but monsterous to her from the time we first met again as adults. I had treated her abhorrently. Taking my pleasure from her and losing myself in her softness one second and the next taking my anger out on her the next. Even now when I knew who she was because I felt it in the tightening of my chest every time she was out of sight I had still taken something from her. Our children.
She had been the one to bring my boys into the world. She had given birth in not ideal circumstances and then fed and kept them safe for months.
And what had I done?
I had sent them away.
Yes it was to protect them and I knew Cassie knew that deep down but the pain it had caused her had been immense.
And yet she had forgiven me anyway. I didn’t know if that made her a fool or amazing. I wouldn’t have forgiven her if she had done that without talking to me first.
But then I wasn’t a good person like she was.
Lost in thought, I didn’t notice that her eyes had fluttered open.
Glancing down at her face, our eyes locked.
“Good morning.” She said softly and my fingers slowed on her cheek. Cupping it instead. Reaching down I pressed my lips to hers.
“Good morning.” Pulling away slightly, I smiled. “How are you feeling?”
Cassie's eyes darted around for a second, almost like she was taking stock of her body and then she gave a small shrug. “Like I’ve been crying all night.” She said finally.
“Well-“ I began to say because there had been a lot of tears last night.
“But I feel lighter.” She smiled back up at me and my heart lurched.
Last night, after the death of the young mother on her table I had thought I had lost her. Even after we had talked for hours , I could still see the distance in her eyes. It was still there a little bit but life was back in her eyes. She no longer looked like a broken dead eyed doll.
It filled me with hope to see her eyes shining again.
“I’m sorry about last night.” Cassie's voice dropped to a whisper. “I didn’t mean to get hysterical.”
Using both hands I cupped her cheeks in my hands and drew our mouths together. “After everything you have gone through I think you held it together remarkably well.” I meant it as a compliment but her eyes shifted away.
“I didn’t. I’m a doctor. That’s what I do. I heal and help people and I couldn’t help that woman and her baby. I let my own feelings of loss interfere with what I knew I needed to do.”
Cassie moved from beneath my hands and instantly I reached for her again. I didn’t like the way she was talking. Mostly because it felt like she was moving away from me again.
I needed her to know that she wasn’t alone and that we would get through this together.
Easily she slipped from under my hands and stood up. Stretching her arms above her head. The sight of her body bathed in the early morning light made my heart beat hard against my chest. My body thrummed with the need to be close to her.
“Where are you going?” Easily I snagged her wrist as she tried to walk away. I wrapped my arms around her knees. Pressing my face into her thighs. “I thought we could stay here and talk some more.”
“We can-“ she untangled herself. “Later. Right now we both have jobs to do.” Her eyes bored down on mine.
There was so much strength in them.
Goddess she was so much stronger than me.
“I think my only job right now is to be with you.” I said softly.
“We can’t sit around Julian.” She said firmly. “There is so much to do.”
“I don’t like the idea of you treating the packs sick and wounded Cassie. You’re my queen. Slaving away for people-“
Bending down she silenced me with her lips. Taking my breath away. “Serving the people is exactly my job as queen. I’m a doctor before anything else. It’s what I live for. And anyway,” her eyes skirted away. “I need to speak to Scarlett about some things. We should get showered and ready for the day. I don’t want to waste any time.”
My cock throbbed at the idea of showering with her. Of having her wet and soapy body pressed against mine as the hot water poured down on us.
“And you have things to do as well Julian.” She reminded me and any thought of eating her out in the shower evaporated when I looked into her face.
“Do I?”
She rolled her pretty eyes at me. “Yes.” She said simply. “You need to figure out how you are going to regain your crown and your kingdom.”