Chapter 241
Cassie
I didn’t sign into the account again. I closed the whole thing down and when I told Ian he didn’t ask why. The way his eyes narrowed when I told him spoke volumes. He already knew why, or at least he guessed. But he was kind enough not to press me to tell him about my stupidity.
And I was stupid because every atom of my being wanted to speak to him again. It didn’t matter how much I told myself that I was well rid of the king I knew deep down in my heart that he would always have a hold on me.
Not least because the twins were looking more and more like their father every day. Even the way they spoke and moved reminded me of their father.
Not that they mentioned him. Not once , not to me anyway. They might have talked to Ian about it but if they did, he didn’t say anything to me.
Life just went on. A normal life which was exactly what I had wanted.
Only now I had it I missed Julian even more. It was almost like he lived on inside of me. The reason why I had such pain in my heart but I wasn’t willing to dig it out and reject him once and for all.
So all of this suffering was my own fault.
Because I wasn’t strong enough to reject him completely. Even thinking about it made my chest hurt.
“It’s meant to get easier, not harder.” I told my reflection in the bathroom mirror. Not that it would make any difference. I would still go to bed alone and with my husbands face invading my dreams.
It was easier when Ian was here but he had been coming back later and later the last few weeks. At first I had thought he had been sneaking off to see Yanna or some other female. I had even been happy for him. Right up until two days ago when I had found his blood stained shirt.
Whatever Ian was doing, it wasn’t anything good.
Turning I glanced at my phone. Frowning at the dark screen like I expected it to light up and make my whole life better.
I couldn’t log back on and see if he was waiting , could I? After weeks of being strong the urge to do it was unbearable.
I needed to see his name, or the jumble of numbers he used as a name anyway. Even if I didn’t speak to him I needed to see if he was still there and waiting for me.
Grabbing the phone I moved down the hallway , peeking into the boys room I stared at them for a second. Both sleeping peacefully. Without a care in the world,
Didn’t their father deserve to know they were ok? Didn’t I owe Julian that if nothing else. I didn’t have to have a conversation with him. I would just -
Closing their door softly I made my way into my own room and climbed into bed. The phone held in both of my hands as I sat there and slowly signed in.
And he was there. Right there waiting.
“I’ve missed you Cassie.” His message popped up instantly.
“I just wanted you to know that the boys are well.”
I stared down at the words. So formal and informative. No emotion at all which was surprising because I was a big bundle of emotions right now.
I had been for the last few weeks.
“And are you well?”
“Yes Julian. Are you?” This was becoming dangerous now. Too much like a conversation. “I should go I just wanted you to know.”
“Does Ian know you are talking to me?”
“No.”
A pause and then he started typing only to stop.
My phone lit up, a call through the app. No name and no number because this was all meant to be anonymous but I knew who it was.
What I didn’t know was whether I should answer it or not.
“Answer Cassie. I just want to hear your ok for myself ok.” His message popped up.
Ten seconds of staring at it later I hit the accept button and pressed the phone to my ear.
The sound of his breathing down the phone did funny things to my heart.
“Hello?” My voice came out little more than a whisper.
“Oh Cassie.” His groan was one of pure unadulterated need and I felt my heart flutter in my chest.
Other parts of me sprang to life as well.
Parts that hadn’t felt so alive in all the months since I had been here.
“My love are you there?” He asked quietly when I stayed silent.
Taking a deep breath I forced myself to speak in a normal voice. “I’m here Julian.” I said quietly. “But I can’t talk for long.” I added for good measure.
Even a few minutes was a bad idea. If Ian found out he would be furious with me. He would force us to move just in case Julian came looking for me.
“A few minutes is enough for now.”
“Don’t even try and trace this call Julian.” I warned. “If you do then I will disappear.”
“You have already disappeared and taken my children with you.” He countered. “You didn’t even give me a chance to explain.”
Bad bad idea. The words kept rumbling around my head. I was so weak when it came to him. So under his spell that I had just risked everything just to hear his voice.
“What is there to explain Julian? You got your mistress pregnant and I left in such a way that you kept your kingdom.” I sighed. “You should be thanking me , now do you want to talk about the boys.”
“No.” He growled out. “We will talk about the boys later. Right now I need to talk to you about the truth.”
I blinked in the darkness. “And what is the truth Julian-?” I asked , holding my breath as I waited for his answer. Only no answer came.
The line was dead.
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