Chapter 256
Julian
She was spent, laying against my chest in a sweaty heaving heap as she tried to catch her breath. Every few seconds another little moan escaped her lips.
Smiling to myself I tightened my arms around her and lifted my head to press a kiss to her wet hair.
“Are you ok?” I murmured against her head and felt her nod silently. I was glad she was because I wasn’t sure I was.
A million and one thoughts and feelings were flowing through me. All of them warring for my attention. Shaking my head I ignored them all. There was only thing that needed my attention right now and that was the woman in my arms.
My mate.
My claimed mate.
“That was intense.” She whimpered, as my cock slipped from her. It was almost like she couldn’t bare to have it not inside of her and I felt the same. Because damn I wanted to be buried inside of her all day every day.
“It was.” I admitted. “I could lose myself in you forever.” Another kiss, this time on her forehead. Her bright eyes turned up to meet mine and narrowed.
“It will be forever now Cassie.” Hooking my thumb under her chin I tilted her head up. “And it was amazing because of the bond. It will only get better , you know that. Give it time and just the brush of my fingers on your cheek.” I skimmed the tips of my fingers across her face and was rewarded when her eyes fluttered shut and she moaned again.
“No- what?” Her eyes flew open and she pushed away from me. “What just happened doesn’t change anything,” she said forcefully.
She was lying to herself if she thought that. And the time for us lying was well and truly over. If she thought I was about to let her run away again after what had just happened she had another thing coming.
“It changes everything.” Rolling to my side on the broken desk which was laying on the pale carpet I reached for her. Drawing her back into my body so I could run my hands over her sides.
The need to be inside of her were building again. As a newly mated couple it would be like this for quite a while. We would be mad for each other, unable to help ourselves.
My hand came to rest on her hip and I squeezed. “Everything but my feelings for you.”
Her eyes flashed and widened. “Megan-“
“Gone.” I answered before she could finish. I didn’t want to talk about Megan when I could still taste Cassie on my lips. “There’s so much I need to explain to you Cassie but she is gone and she will never be back.”
For several long heartbeats Cassie stared at me, tears flooding her eyes and then she turned her face away. “There will be others.” She said in the smallest voice I had ever heard. “I refuse to be second place in my own life Julian, I’m sorry but-“
My heart cracked , reaching for her I turned her head to face me and caught her lips with mine. Only this time my kiss was soft and a little uncertain. Leaning my forehead against hers I sighed.
“There will never be others. There wasn’t even Megan,” I fought to keep my voice from breaking. “I have never touched her Cassie.”
Opening my eyes I found her staring at me and so close I could see the different coloured specks in her eyes.
So fucking pretty. Just like she was.
“But-“
“Never. Not even a kiss.” I shook my head. “She was just there you know. And part of me thought I couldn’t be without her because she seemed to be everything I wanted but then-“ I swallowed hard as her eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t what I wanted. She wasn’t what I wanted or needed and the more she tried to be the more I realised she wasn’t because she wasn’t you. And then you had your accident.” Pain ripped through me.
“She didn’t try when I was in my coma? You weren’t tempted?”
For a second I hesitated. I had to tell the truth now. Any little lie or secret would rip her away from me whether we were bonded or not.
“Yes.”
She sucked in a shocked breath.
“You were asleep for such a long time that I would have been lying if I said I hadn’t been tempted but I didn’t.”
Both of my hands trapped her face between them , so she couldn’t look away.
“She wasn’t you Cassie, you was never you so I never touched her. I don’t know why I kept going back.” I gave a small shrug. “Maybe because I needed her. Maybe because I needed her to need me which she did. You never made me feel like you needed me but I didn’t sleep with her. I’ve never done more than kiss the back of her hand. The thought of having her body against mine makes me feel sick.”
Cassie didn’t say a word but she didn’t need to . I knew what she was thinking.
“She came to me and said she was pregnant.” I sighed. “And I laughed in her face because I knew it wasn’t mine. How could it be when I’d never touched her and then she threatened to tell you-“
Pain lanced through me.
“We were just getting things back on track and I couldn’t stand the thought of you leaving me again. So when she said she would leave and never come back if I just paid-“
“You paid her to leave? That’s what the house and everything was?”
I didn’t bother to ask how she knew that. Ian would of told her.
I nodded. “But you left before I could tell you the truth and I had to grin and bare all the rumours that flew around about you and Ian and the boys because I knew that I couldn’t put the record straight until I had enough proof to get rid of Megan once and for all.”
“And did you?” She asked in a quiet voice. “Did you find a way to get rid of her for good?”
I took a deep breath and smiled. “Yes.”