Chapter 179
Cassie
The moment our bedroom door closed I was in his arms. Hiding my face against his chest and sobbing. Julian didn’t even hesitate in holding me.
“What’s wrong Cassie?” He asked. Smoothing his hand down my bank and murmuring my name over and over again. “Tell me what happened?”
In answer I just tightened my arms around him and sobbed. Great heaving sobs that left my throat dry and raw.
“Please tell me why you are crying?” He asked softly and I could hear the worry in his voice.
“I don’t know.” I muttered and that was the truth. I didn’t know why I was so upset. Nothing bad had really happened. The old woman had frightened me , not from her actions. She hadn’t hurt me in anyway but from her words. There was so much truth in them, that I couldn’t help but feel afraid.
Something was going to happen, I could feel it in my gut and it was going to be something bad.
I clutched at him a little tighter, willing my heart to calm down.
“She said-“ I finally managed. “She said you were going to need me. And I was filled with so much dread.”
“I’m fine Cassie.” Julian’s fingers curled around my chin. “I am fine and I am right here. Nothing bad is going to happen. We aren’t going to lose each other. We will stick together until this is over and then-“
I craned my neck to stare up at his face. “Let’s leave Julian.” I interrupted him sharply.
His eyes grew misty. “You want to go home? To our little house on the hill?” He sighed. “I get that. This room isn’t home and that place has become it for us. I can arrange that for us. It might take me a few hours to find guards but I can have you there in the morning.”
Home. That’s what he had called it and in a way it was but how could it be home without our boys with us?
I shook my head. “That’s not what I meant.” Muttering, I pulled myself out of his arms and turned away.
“We are going to die if we stay here.” I said , my voice completely flat and emotionless which was the complete opposite to what was happening on the inside.
“No one is going to die Cassie. You are safe.”
I wanted to scream at him that it wasn’t me I was worried about. It was him, it was the twins and everyone else I cared about.
“Let’s just leave. Go to my real father and the Lycan and be with our children?” Even as I said it I knew he was going to shoot that idea down.
“I can’t just leave my people and go and live as a king in exile with the Lycans and you know it.” Julian sounded tired. “My place is here.”
My anger exploded out of my chest in a growl that vibrated the windows. Julians eyebrows shot upwards. “Cassie.” He warned.
“No. You choose other people over us over and over again. I am used to it now.” My shoulders hunched.
He came to me quickly. “I am king and they are my people. I owe them.”
“You owe us as well. It’s all unravelling.” I muttered, turning my back to him and looking around. This was the room that Scarlett had given us. It was a comfortable room , a nice room but none of it seemed real. Edges and lines that should have been sharp and defined seemed to blur before my eyes.
Raising my hands I scrubbed at them and my hands came away wet. I was crying , I told myself. That’s why things seemed blurry.
It was the only possible explanation.
“I know your scared.”
I whirled on him. “I’m terrified.” I admitted raggedly. “Look around you , does this feel real to you? All of this mess? This-“ spreading my arms wide I span around.
I could feel Julian’s eyes on me. Worried. He should be worried because I was losing it. My sense of reality was unraveling. That’s what it felt like.
“What happened that has made you so afraid Cassie?” He said again. “Did you find the book?”
I nodded silently. “The book and the woman. She had a lot to say.” Blowing out a breath I began to strip off my clothes. Shivering as the cold air hit my skin.
“Did she hurt you?” He asked coming up behind me, and sliding his arms around my waist to pull me into his body. “No.” I shook my head. “No she didn’t hurt me. We spoke for a little while.”
“What is she?” His lips moved against my shoulder.
I hesitated. “A woman, about sixty or so. Grey hair-“
“You remember her this time?”
I nodded mutely. I hadn’t even thought about it but he was right I did remember her. In fact her image seemed to be burnt into my brain.
“What was she?” He asked again.
“A woman.” I frowned. “A doctor.” I didn't know how I knew that but I knew it was true. She felt like a doctor or a healer in my head.
“I meant, what kind of creature is she?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. She felt familiar. So wolf maybe.” Shivering I slipped from his arms and headed towards the big bed. “Can we talk about this tomorrow Julian. Like you said everyone is fine and I am so cold and tired. I just want to lay down and close my eyes.”
Not waiting for him to respond I slipped between the cool sheets and closed my eyes.
After a few seconds Julian climbed in next to me. We lay there side by side both of us looking up and the ceiling and not touching each other.
“Can you tell me what she said to you? Just some of it?”
My breath rattled in my chest. “She said I needed to wake up.”
“Wake up? Was you sleep walking?” He meant it as a joke but it wasn’t funny. Truthfully the last few months had been weird. More than once it had felt like I was sleepwalking.
“She said that things were going to get bad and that I had to be brave.”
There was a rustle as he turned his head on the pillow to look at me. “You are the bravest person I know.” He said softly.
I smiled sadly. I wished that was true.
“Anything else?”
“Nothing important.” I lied.
“And the book?”
Instantly I stiffened. “I haven’t looked inside of it.” I admitted. “It scares me.”
“What was the title?” He asked. I didn’t answer. “Cassie what does the title say?”
“Lies.”
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